11/05/2010 05:16 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Obama Admits Making Donations to Democrats

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) -- In what some are calling a gross infraction against the White House's code of ethics, President Barack Obama admitted today that he made several donations to Democratic candidates during the 2010 midterm campaign.

"In retrospect, I should have been more upfront about these donations," a chastened Mr. Obama told reporters today. "I don't want to do anything that makes the White House appear to be biased towards one party over another."

But the president's statement "doesn't cut the mustard," according to the most vocal critic of his donations, MSNBC president Phil Griffin, who said Mr. Obama would be suspended from MSNBC's air indefinitely.

"If I had known that Obama was biased towards the Democrats, I never would have put him on our network so much," he said. "Like most Americans, I feel pretty sucker-punched by this."

Mr. Griffin also unveiled MSNBC's new slogan, "Lean Forward, So We Can Kick Your Ass Out the Door." Continue reading here.

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