Obama Converts to Judaism

Buffeted by criticism of his controversial Christian pastor while continuing to quell rumors that he is a Muslim, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) took a bold step today to settle questions about his religious faith once and for all.

"I am converting to Judaism, effective immediately," Mr. Obama told reporters at a press conference in Scarsdale, New York, adding that he would change his middle name from "Hussein" to "Murray."

As a sign of commitment to his new faith, the Illinois Senator said that he anticipated being Bar Mitzvahed sometime between now and the crucial Pennsylvania primary and that he would no longer campaign on Saturdays.

In a subtle sign of the shift in his religious affiliation, Mr. Obama's signature catchphrase "Yes, we can," was nowhere to be found in his speech, replaced instead by "L'Chaim."

While some political observers praised Mr. Obama's conversion to Judaism as a shrewd tactic to put the issue of his religious identity to rest, the move raised the ire of one of his harshest critics, former Rep. Geradline Ferraro.

"Barack Murray Obama wouldn't be in the position he's in if he wasn't Jewish," said Ms. Ferraro to herself.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jonathan Alter (Newsweek, MSNBC). For tickets, go to 92y.org.

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport

Comments

[greywolfsd]

I love it!!! did his campaign do the right polling to make sure he is going to the right religion to appease everyone? let's make sure that converting to a Jew is how he will quell the critics...after all he changes faith right on the tails of his spiritual advisor is found out to be a divisive hater of all people's except the africian americans. Wow, how long has he been contemplating this??? since the news hit about his pastor...or was this a long thought out decision, after much deep thought was put into this? Obama is making a mockery of this nation, and to all people of the Jewish faith. Shame on him.

Rachel

[rebeccaj]

Rachel,

Are you so blinded by your ObamaHATE that you didn't figure out that this was a joke about how ridiculous religious and other "litmus" tests are for political candidates?

You Obama Haters need to "buy a clue," and get a damn grip!

[SethBullock]

Hey Rachel--there is such a thing as humor. Look it up! My God, it tests my democratic principles sometimes, thinking that people who don't get this joke are allowed to vote.

Shame on YOU Rachel. Meet me in Ohio.

[schlitzntl]

You are failing at some aspect of humor

Either you have failed to read this as the dark humor it is, reminding us all how irrelevant the issue of faith should be to voters.

Or you are failing at sarcasm if that is how you wanted your remarks to be read. Because they don't come off as sarcastic at all.

Either way, to quote Mr. Wonka, "You lose! Good day sir!"

[Obamamo]

It's a joke! Wake up! btw! It's Hillary Lieberman Clinton who would do anything, including lying and cheating, to steal the nomination.

David Hussein Humphrey.

[LeftLeanWing]

Rachel,

HOPEfully by now, you have figured out that this is a joke .

Or are you so wound up that you would believe everything you hear on the Internet ?

[robiform]

Senator Obama is converting to Judaism? What a mechaieh!! (For everyone who never read "The Joys of Yiddish", a 'mechaieh' is roughly translated as "a happy event".) So who's catering the Bar Mitzvah celebration??

[Devorah]

Evidently you good folks don't know that there are 50,000 black Jews in America and now nearly 18 black rabbis. In fact, in Senator Obama's city of Chicago, one of the members of the Chicago Board of Rabbis is a nice Jewish guy who happens to be black, Rabbi Capers (Shmuel) Funnyé (pronounced fah-NAY). Yeah, I know the original post was satirical, but think about the possibilities. Obama as a little bit of everything-- Muslim, Christian, Jewish, African-American and Caucasian-- something for everyone!!! So, if the good senator ever decides he wants to become Jewish, have I got a nice black rabbi for him to meet!!! (Btw, Rabbi Funnyé has even debated Min. Farrakhan. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.)

[goldstategirl]

Give us a little credit...most of us know 2, Sammy Davis and Lenny Kravitz.

Well...more like 1-and-a-half ;-)

[Pquilson]

Nearly 18 black rabbis? Would that be 17, 16, or some other number?
I agree, this was a wonderful post and worth reading for the comic relief it offers!

[HAP]

Hi Devorah--good post. I think we know each other....

[Snowball]

Baruch Ata Obama?

[CitizenE]

and from Barack to Baruch. Actually, my name which comes from all great grandfathers and translated then in American idiom--Baruch David (after Judiasm's most famous king, thus analagous to Hussein) would be more accurately done. A mitzvah! The Black Jew for President, someone every mother could love, and what the men don't know, the little girls would understand. Yes that would really discombobulate Ferraro.

[juevosrancheros]

Awesome! Thanks for defusing some of the tension surrounding this thing. I've been waiting forever for someone to step forward as the Sammy Davis Jr. of politics.

[GoreyFantod]

We still have to dance for our supper, but now we get a sit-down interview instead of being ushered off-stage afterward.

[SCharb]

Not a bad idea...

[GnitenGoodLk]

HuffPost's Pick

LMAO. Great post! Thanks for the needed giggles.

Oy vey.

[Democrab]

So, how does Ferraro feel about pyramid worship, or Heaven's Gate?

If Judaism doesn't pass the litmus test, how about litmusism?

Some of my best friends are litmus.

You know it turns red in acid solutions and blue in alkaline, just like voters, kinda cool!

[nypoet22]

why murray? were there already too many guys named schlomo on the block?

[Hiphopcrates]

Nu Andrew? How about Ehud Barack Obama?

[MarineBugler]

Oy! ... I can only imagine what the right wingers would do with that!

[tedbear]

I hope this isn't read by the average Clinton or McCain supporter (who misundertand everything). Can you see it now, all over the news channels and papers? They will all be up in arms about his conversion. Oh yoy, oh boy!

[cybersense]

Hey now, I am a HRC supporter, and loved this. It was much needed humor.

I also do my homework on the issues, and hate the posts by any supporter that does not support their candidate well.

BTW, have looked at both sides of the camps in these posts? It's not just HRC supporters who tend to get ugly.