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Obama Rips Bankers Not Already in Cabinet

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(WASHINGTON) - In a sharply worded speech, President Barack Obama today blasted all of the nation's bankers who are not currently in his Cabinet.

Speaking from the White House, Mr. Obama said, "I want to send a strong warning to this country's bankers," before turning to his economic team and saying, "I don't mean you guys."

After the President excused them from listening to the rest of his address, approximately one hundred former bankers filed out the door, leaving the room virtually empty.

Once the room had cleared, Mr. Obama resumed his attack on bankers, using his strongest rhetoric to date: "If you do not clean up your act, I am prepared to give you heck."

Elsewhere, Tiger Woods disclosed that as part of his aversion therapy for sex addiction he is being shown videos of Lou Dobbs. More here.