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Obama Sends Emergency Cans of Whup Ass to Gulf

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WASHINGTON - (The Borowitz Report) - Following up on a promise made yesterday on NBC's "Today Show," President Barack Obama sent 20,000 emergency cans of industrial strength whup ass to the Gulf of Mexico.

The President said that the cans of whup ass would be opened "as soon as we can determine whom they should be opened on."

Mr. Obama also vowed that he would continue to use swear words in his public utterances if that will help resolve the Gulf oil crisis.

"Let me be clear," he said. "I want that motherfucking oil out the motherfucking Gulf." More here.

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