WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In a White House ceremony that many historians are calling unprecedented, President Barack Obama today transferred his balls to the custody of Connecticut Senator Joseph Lieberman.
Called the "Balls Summit" by White House aides, the ceremony was intended as an official acknowledgment of Mr. Lieberman's complete control of the nation's health care future.
"There are now four branches of government," the President said. "Executive, Legislative, Judicial, and Lieberman."
Mr. Lieberman explained his decision to oppose the Medicare buy-in he supported just three months ago, saying, "I'm a bigger dick now." More here.