In an Independence Day speech to the nation, President Barack Obama acknowledged that the White House's prescription drug plan would be costly but added, "It still won't be as expensive as Michael Jackson's."
The President added that the government might achieve additional savings by acquiring drugs in bulk from the Jackson estate.
"We've done an inventory of the left-over painkillers at Neverland Ranch," Mr. Obama said. "There's enough junk there to tranquilize the entire nation until the year 2050." More Andy Borowitz here.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition."