Pat Robertson Says Giuliani Presidency Appears in Book of Revelation

One day after endorsing former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani for president, televangelist Pat Robertson explained his decision, saying that a Giuliani presidency features prominently in the Book of Revelation.

In his endorsement announcement the day before, Rev. Robertson had made reference to Mr. Giuliani's tenure as "America's Mayor," but did not indicate that the Republican frontrunner was a key player in the Bible's most apocalyptic book.

In his statement today, however, the televangelist made it clear that "in order for the Second Coming to occur, the world needs to end, and Rudy Giuliani is just the man for that job."

Rev. Robertson said that he was "confident" that within weeks of his inauguration, Mr. Giuliani would usher in the "end days" that are a staple of Bible prophecy.

In praising Mr. Giuliani, Mr. Robertson had critical words for the current resident of the White House, President George W. Bush: "President Bush got us on the road to Armageddon, but it's taking too darn long -- Rudy Giuliani will put us in the express lane."

While the Giuliani camp initially welcomed the endorsement of the influential evangelist, the former New York mayor seemed less enthusiastic today about being identified as one of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse.

When asked by a reporter in Iowa about Mr. Robertson's comments today, Mr. Giuliani replied, "9/11."

Elsewhere, former Beatle Paul McCartney confirmed that he is dating a Metropolitan Transportation Authority board member, explaining, "Since my divorce from Heather, I've had to start taking the subway."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts an all-new edition of "Next Week's News" starring Amy Sedaris. John Oliver (The Daily Show) and Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever) at Comix on Thursday January 17 at 8 PM. Comix is located at 353 West 14th Street, just east of Ninth Avenue. For tickets, call 212-524-2500 or go to comixny.com. For a $5 discount, use the promotional code ANDY.

Comments

[Sidewhispers]

Robertson is wrong; the "Name of the beast" is Dick Cheney.

[Aanya]

Robertson is totally whacked! How sad that his whacked followers will do what he tells them to. He's dangerous, and should be locked up!

[paixa3]

What a damn nut case !!!!!

...and people send this heretic money?

[KansAmerican]

Andy sez Pat sez Giuliani appears in Book of Revelation. He was kidding. However, there is a sober, serious reference to George Bush The Current in the bible. He is accounted for in Isiah 41:24. Pat hears a "Word of Knowledge" on his moneythons. Perhaps, this source is the same one that bush the decider heard when he told a Middle Eastern person "God told me to attack Iraq."

[ihavenobias]

Hilarious!

http://www.theyoungturks.com/story/2007/11/8/10528/8955

[Shasta]

Satire. But holy shit, this is scary, scary satire. What's most frightening is that this evangelical crap is actually discussed behind not-so-closed doors.

[Dan Stewart]

Actually, Robertson endorsed Guiliani because Guiliani is the Likud party canidate and Robertson is a register Likudnik.

[Guitarsandmore]

Yes, it"s true; Rudy Giuliani appears in the book of Revolution as the Anti-Christ. He is sent back to hell by the returning savior, a leading Democrat, who achieves peace and prosperity for all loyal Democrats. And I think that should be a lesson to all those who aspire to be Republicans

[cognate]

"It is between fifty and sixty years since I read it [the Book of Revelation], and I then considered it merely the ravings of a maniac, no more worthy nor capable of explanation than the incoherencies of our own nightly dreams." -- Thomas Jefferson, letter to General Alexander Smyth, January 17, 1825

[RedWhiteandBrooklyn]

Yeah.... and things that are in the Book of Revelations appear regularly to many people in mental hospitals, as well as folks who use psychedelic drugs. Hell, I fought a dragon back in 1970.... but didn't everybody, back then?

Face it: if I told you that God told me that somebody was going to be the next President, you'd laugh (and rightfully so), but this money-grubbibg charlatan snake oil salesman does it and people write him checks. Never underestimate the gullibility of the public, my friends.

[TitaniumAvatar]

Judging from some of these comments HuffPo needs to introduce a Satire Font for the reading comprehension challenged.

Nice Post Andy!

[chirps]

Nutcase pure and simple.

[True]

Nice.

Even my highly advanced satire detector took this as "real" for a moment.

Probably because it is real.

[particleswaves]

Organized religion started when the first charlatan met the first fool.

[sonofloud]

the seperation of church and state in the usa