MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) - As America observes Martin Luther King Day, a new poll indicates that the country has moved beyond the issue of race, according to a huge majority of white people.
The poll, which was conducted by the University of Minnesota's Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 83% of the white people surveyed agreed with the statement, "As a white person, I feel that America is really over the whole race thing."
When asked whether they think about race in their daily lives, 72% of white people agreed with the statement, "Only when I'm asked a polling question about it."
In response to the question, "What have you personally done to improve your understanding of racial issues," a majority of white people responded, "I went to see The Blind Side."
When asked what figures had done the most to foster better race relations in the country, 62% of white people cited President Barack Obama, while 78% named "that pants on the ground dude." More here.