Rev. Wright Launches Own 24-Hr. Channel

Pronouncing himself "thrilled" with his recent spate of media appearances, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright announced today that he will launch his own 24-hour network that will feature nothing but himself all day long.

Coming off his appearance with PBS' Bill Moyers and his televised speeches before the NAACP and the National Press Club, the preacher said that "one thing is abundantly clear: people just can't get enough of me on television."

By launching WrightTV, the minister said, "It is my sincere hope that I can quench the public's seemingly limitless thirst for hearing me talk."

While some media experts wondered whether Rev. Wright could produce enough content to fill a 24-hour channel, the preacher assured that "that won't be a problem at all."

"Once those cameras are on, I'll start talking," he said. "A bigger problem will be getting me to stop."

The minister added that it would take at least two weeks for the channel to launch, but said that in the interim he would schedule a series of other television appearances, on such programs as "Jeopardy," "Dancing with the Stars," and the hit teen drama "Gossip Girl."

While the Obama camp had no official comment on the Rev. Wright's new television channel, the concept got a ringing endorsement from another leading Democrat, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY).

"Speaking for myself, whenever I turn on the TV and see that the Rev. Wright is on, I am overjoyed," she said.

Elsewhere, Miley Cyrus said Vanity Fair's topless photos of her were "even more embarrassing" than being Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Calvin Trillin (The New Yorker), Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jonathan Alter (Newsweek, MSNBC). For tickets, go to 92y.org.

Comments

[mcthorogood]

Andrew -- please don't let anyone at the Boston Globe see this!

[SamThornton]

Boy, am I out of touch. Had to Google "Billy Ray Cyrus" to figure out who the hell he was. And at first read, I thought "Miley" was a mis-spell for some kind of bizarre mileage sign. Now I'm wishing I was as dumb as when I started.

[AlexVonHussein]

You really dont want to give Rev, Wright that Idea do you ? he may do it he seems to enjoy the media rounds...he is all smiles and now that he has more time he may do a mike huckabee on us

[StephenJK]

HAHAHAHilarious! I bet Obama wishes Wright would stop talking.

[John Warren Gotsch]

Rev Wright you are just like I expected highly educated, iconic and don't mince words.
For you first, maybe your second program discuss the very important stories about Professor Lani Guinier, the first African American law professor to get tenure at Harvard. Lani and Hillary were roommates at Yale Law. Summers together at Martha's Vineyard. That is before the Clintons despicably threw her over the side of the Clinton Bus because her nomination as Asst Sec for Civil Rights caused a hue and cry over her legal theories to right the injustices to the black electorate.
Recently Hillary proposed a Poverty Tsar in Memphis because Marian Wright Edelman warned that WJC's Welfare Reform Act was condemning millions of children to a lifetime of penury. Another black women professional thrashed by The Clintons was Dr Joycelyn Elders. All their stories are on the internet. Good luck. What a wonderful idea.