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Sanford: I Was A Nonstop F*cking Machine

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In his most candid interview to date, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford admitted more indiscretions with women today, telling the Associated Press, "I was a nonstop fucking machine."

How Gov. Sanford's latest admission will play with his constituents remains to be seen, but many of the comments he made during his nine-hour interview are likely to raise eyebrows at the very least, especially instances when he referred to his penis as "the Lieutenant Governor."

"I crossed lines with women," he said. "And when I say lines, I mean tan lines."
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Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition.. He performs Thursday July 2 in New York at the 92nd Street Y Tribeca. Tickets available here.