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Sanford Transfers Extramarital Affair to Lieutenant Governor

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In the interest of creating what he called "an orderly transition," South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford today transferred his extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina to South Carolina's Lieutenant Governor, André Bauer.

Acknowledging "this isn't what I signed up for," Mr. Bauer said he would accept his expanded responsibilities over all aspects of the Governor's out-of-wedlock romance to free up Mr. Sanford for state duties.

Included in the Lieutenant Governor's new portfolio, he said, is the "writing of all sexed-up, misspelled emails" and "complimenting the lady's tan-lines."

In a press conference this morning, Mr. Bauer was philosophical about his new duties, telling reporters, "Well, boys, I guess I'll be hitting the Appalachian Trail."

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