12/25/2009 11:58 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Santa Downed By Predator Drone

NORTH POLE (The Borowitz Report) - The Central Intelligence Agency confirmed reports today that an unmanned predator drone accidentally hit Santa Claus' sleigh on Christmas Eve, killing Santa Claus and injuring an undetermined number of reindeer.

The CIA drone, which was intended to kill an al-Qaeda operative located in the mountainous border region between Afghanistan and Pakistan, went off course and targeted Claus instead.

A CIA spokesperson said the agency was still trying to sort out what, exactly, sent the predator off course, but offered one theory: "It's conceivable that it was thrown off by the beard." More here.