Supreme Court Gives Gore's Nobel to Bush

Just days after former Vice President Al Gore received the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts on global warming, the United States Supreme Court handed Mr. Gore a stunning reversal, stripping him of his Nobel and awarding it to President George W. Bush instead.

For Mr. Gore, who basked in the adulation of the Nobel committee and the world, the high court's decision to give his prize to President Bush was a cruel twist of fate, to say the least.

But in a 5-4 decision, the justices made it clear that they had taken the unprecedented step of stripping Mr. Gore of his Nobel because President Bush deserved it more.

"It is true that Al Gore has done a lot of talking about global warming," wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, writing for the majority. "But President Bush has actually helped create global warming."

Even as Mr. Gore was being stripped of his Nobel, he received strong words of support from Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, who said that the former vice president's Nobel win "shows that he is devoting his life to the right thing and should definitely stay the course."

In an interview with reporters in Iowa, Sen. Clinton said that "Al Gore should remain dedicated to the cause of global climate change, at least through November of 2008."

Sen. Clinton suggested that Mr. Gore could further research the source of global warming by immediately boarding a rocket ship to the sun.

The Borowitz Report, October 12 2007

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He appears at the 92nd St. Y in NYC on Nov. 7 with Alec Baldwin, Arianna Huffington, and Mo Rocca. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport

Comments

[marylizz]

10:33 PM on 10/15/2007

pretty funny! Thanks! I need the comic relief.

[glaze]

09:31 PM on 10/15/2007

Andy-
PLEASE let us know when you'll be on The Daily Show!

[littleblackcat]

08:14 PM on 10/15/2007

Lieberman wasn't too bad until he got sucked into the bush sewage whirlpool. If the assinine supreme court hadn't been stacked with repuke-app­ointments and all the votes counted, (we all know Gore won) Lieberman would probably not have been overcome by sewage fumes and fallen in. Too bad, too late now.

[calibpatriot]

07:41 PM on 10/15/2007

It surprises me to no end that Bush and Cheney have been and are being given a free pass on everything considerin­g the unconstitu­tional and undemocrat­ic manner by which Bush and Cheney were selected for the presidency by the SCOTUS "gang of five" and the numerous and treasonous crimes committed by this administra­tion

[NOSMAVAN]

07:33 PM on 10/15/2007

After spending two hours on an erratic Newark Liberty Airport airtrain to get from the arrivals terminal to the car rental, it struck me how everything seems to be falling apart lately.
This ordeal was followed by four hours of bumper-to-­bumper traffic to Long Island, in no small measure due to the fact that about 40% of the toll booths of the G.W. bridge were either not working, or not staffed.

The total travel time from Newark to L.I was just one half hour less than my trans-atla­ntic flight from Amsterdam to Newark, and quite a bit bumpier (what with our highways that are falling apart).

I do hope the people in Iraq and Afghanista­n appreciate all this.

[reinaldok]

06:46 PM on 10/15/2007

Every so often, and fortunatel­y not too often, I wake up in the middle of the night sweating profusely. Some awful dream, or was it, has obviously affected me. I certainly believe and I trust so do many, many others that Al Gore won hands down the 2000 election. This is not subject to dispute. My dream. Our truly patriotic supreme court voted for Mr. Gore and he became our president. Just imagine the tricks the repubs would have been up to. Just think of Rove, Wolfowitz, Cheney, Bolton, Rummy and of course Dubya. It is highly probable that they would have figured out how to win in 2004. Now, just think, Demos win in 2000, Repubs in 2004 and now for 2008, we would once again be faced with Dubya and ilk spouting their well known trash and fighting for a SECOND term. Only a dream, I sure hope so.

[Forest]

05:49 PM on 10/15/2007

We've witnessed so much twisted logic in this administra­tion, your satire was almost believable­.

[deminmo]

03:20 PM on 10/15/2007

Area 51 just doesn't exist. Bush to Chaney:"Is that @#$$ ship still on the White House lawn?"
Chaney: " Yes sir, and the big metal guy just
flashed something at the Secret Service."

[Kansas Evans]

01:44 PM on 10/15/2007

Yes, this piece is HILARIOUS!

But, I think we're forgetting something very important. It's not just the Supreme Court who cost Gore the election, or the Nadar voters. Tennessee and Florida admitted to voter suppressio­n.

And, for all the Dems in the Senate in 2000, including Edwards, of the 100-not-on­e-black-me­mber body in 2000, there was no one willing to co-sign papers with a representa­tive to contest the election results for being tainted by illegal voter suppressio­n. They have some blame in this, too.

[GuiltyUndertaker]

06:28 PM on 10/15/2007

The Nader voters in no way cost Gore the election. Why do you Democrats take it as matter of faith that if Ralph Nader hadn't been on the ballot in 2000 we all would have voted for Gore? I wouldn't have voted for anyone if Nader hadn't been there.

And pardon me for being not impressed with Nobel Peace Prizes. Kissinger got one. So did David Trimble. Enough said.

[Kansas Evans]

01:21 PM on 10/16/2007

1-You missed my point about the Senate.

2-I was just conceding one point in order to focus on another. And I don't think that ALL of you would've voted for Gore, but enough to make a difference­. If you weren't going to vote for Gore, and Nader wasn't on the ballot, who would you have voted for? I think our "matter of faith" is that Gore is closer to Nader than Bush.

3-Opinions about the NPP really have nothing to do with the fact that members of the Senate could've made a difference in 2000 had one of them only joined a member of the House to contest the election results.

[Bocababs]

12:43 PM on 10/15/2007

Wow...now that's a surprise being it was the same court that put Mr. Bush in office.

[gardenbookie]

12:17 PM on 10/15/2007

I can only hope this is a joke.

[TankerRat]

06:31 PM on 10/15/2007

It's a gag Bocababs, it's a gag but in this screwed up country it could actualy happen. Scalia who is absolutely without a soul would probably lead the charge.

[nighthawk808]

02:04 PM on 10/16/2007

Do you believe everything you read on the Internet?

[KarenZipdrive]

12:00 PM on 10/15/2007

It's official. After a Grammy, an Oscar and the Nobel Peace Prize, Al Gore is too cool to be President.
We demand mediocrity from our presidents and Bush has set a standard nobody can surpass.

[nighthawk808]

02:06 PM on 10/16/2007

Mediocrity would be an improvemen­t for Bush. I'd be dancing in the streets the day Bush reached the lofty heights of mediocre.

[janmB]

11:47 AM on 10/15/2007

NO JOKE Justice Antonin Scalia turned history on its head several years ago when he attended an Orthodox synagogue in New York and claimed that the Founders intended for their Christiani­ty to play a part in government­. Scalia then went so far as to suggest that the reason Hitler was able to initiate the Holocaust was because of German separation of church and state.

[Mark Bernadiner]

11:12 AM on 10/15/2007

Regarding Gore's research qualificat­ion and quality read article:
Gore gets a cold shoulder
Steve Lytte
October 14, 2007
The Sydney Herald Tribune
“(Dr William Gray, a pioneer in the science of seasonal hurricane forecasts) ONE of the world's foremost meteorolog­ists has called the theory that helped Al Gore share the Nobel Peace Prize "ridiculou­s" and the product of "people who don't understand how the atmosphere works"”.

[JustMyWords]

10:25 PM on 10/15/2007

One of the world's foremost meteorolog­ists - how nice. The man specialize­s in weather forecastin­g. Admittedly­, in a rather esoteric area, but not exactly the same sort of field or research. And the quote doesn't exactly mention that Dr. Gray is in the minority of scientists when he insists that nothing humans do is changing the atmosphere­.

In fact, while Dr. Gray is pontificat­ing about the non-existe­nce of global warming, he's also apparently missed the point of the particular Nobel Prize. Gore is sharing the Prize not for research or for his "theory" (he's not a scientist, he hasn't proposed a theory), he's being honored for his efforts in educating people about the problem. More people now are talking about global warming, debating the causes (if any), and discussing possible solutions (if any) than have ever given it any thought before. And THAT is why Gore was honored.

[Susanholmes]

10:59 AM on 10/15/2007

You totally owe me a cup of coffee, as reading the headline of your piece caused me to expell roughly ten ounces of scalding, caffinated beverage through my nostrils.