Supreme Court Gives Gore's Nobel to Bush

Just days after former Vice President Al Gore received the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts on global warming, the United States Supreme Court handed Mr. Gore a stunning reversal, stripping him of his Nobel and awarding it to President George W. Bush instead.

For Mr. Gore, who basked in the adulation of the Nobel committee and the world, the high court's decision to give his prize to President Bush was a cruel twist of fate, to say the least.

But in a 5-4 decision, the justices made it clear that they had taken the unprecedented step of stripping Mr. Gore of his Nobel because President Bush deserved it more.

"It is true that Al Gore has done a lot of talking about global warming," wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, writing for the majority. "But President Bush has actually helped create global warming."

Even as Mr. Gore was being stripped of his Nobel, he received strong words of support from Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, who said that the former vice president's Nobel win "shows that he is devoting his life to the right thing and should definitely stay the course."

In an interview with reporters in Iowa, Sen. Clinton said that "Al Gore should remain dedicated to the cause of global climate change, at least through November of 2008."

Sen. Clinton suggested that Mr. Gore could further research the source of global warming by immediately boarding a rocket ship to the sun.

The Borowitz Report, October 12 2007

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He appears at the 92nd St. Y in NYC on Nov. 7 with Alec Baldwin, Arianna Huffington, and Mo Rocca. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport

Comments

[Jknow]

NIce satire about reversal of 2000 election! There's also a new novel on the market that speaks to this issue. It's called "Trail of Death--Alfredo Gomez and the Assassination of President Kennedy"(use Google Search to find out more). The novel is a protest against the Bush administration's policy --does it have a policy?--regarding Global Warming. It notes in the Foreword section that Vice President Gore and the earth scientists are the true heroes of this era, and how corrupt politicians have tried to silence them. But thanks to Mr. Gore and the scientists, the word is out. Congratulations to them all on the Nobel Prize. It's a much deserved honor--and long overdue.

Anyway--

[glesslib]

Does it have a policy???? Are you kidding? I can't think of an actual policy this administration has on any subject, well, except Staying the Course In Iraq.

George Bush...pro­of that American really doesn't need a Chief Executive at all.

[klondiker]

Hehehe...v­ery funny indeed!

I could get used to your posts, Andy Borowitz.

[Boris]

If you use sarcasm and irony often enough some people will take it as gospel. There no longer seems to be a public that understands irony. Even Jonathan Swift would be appalled.

Are we a nation of halfwits? Has our sense of humor has been seriously damaged by the fool in the White House. I used to laugh at what he said because I thought he was joking. Now, every time he says something funny, I realize he is just stupid.

[Fairfloss]

Andy's sense of humor is top-notch. Your's on the other hand is seriously lacking.

Keep it up Andy, you are my muse.

[dawlishgal]

The trick is not to listen to anything our national embarrassment says. The guy who invented the MUTE BUTTON should win a Nobel prize, IMO.

How can ANYBODY who confuses the meanings of commiserate and commensurate be expected to have the ability (or the inclination) to think seriously about ANYTHING? Both words could have been expressed in simpler terms, but of course we can't expect the self-serving narcissist to know anything about "empathy" or "equality" either.

[josephpatrick]

Al Gore should be president right now. This country would be in such a better situation if he was. I just pray to God we get it right in '08 and stop electing neo-cons.

for political commentary, visit:
http://www.politidose.com/

[paige]

We won't get it right in '08. How can we with what we have to vote for? I don't see it.

[huffnpuffn]

Would Gore have gotten the Nobel prize without Bush in his SCOTUS-appointed role? (playing Lex Luthor to Gore's Superman, as it were)

Imagine if Bush wasn't serving as the 'lightning rod' for ignoring Kyoto, and supressing science, Gore's actions wouldn't have gotten as much press and public attention.

[peterg76]

Without the Supreme Court's wilful and flagrant violation of their ethics, oath of office, the constitution, etc., Gore would be president. He might have resolved the global warming emergency by now.

[maddogbitesback]

If ifs and ands were pots and pans there's be nop work for tinker's hands. America voted. America sat around. America voted again. America sat around. It was all known that Bush was a crook, liar and not very good at either. Remember the famous line; "I invented the internet." - well he never said that but what a blast if he had said it. Voting in America is a joke. Fixed. And so it is no wonder that Iran didn't welcome Americans in Iraq and they don't want democracy. Look at the model you showed them.

[dawlishgal]

I, too, have difficulty in seeing anything good about Gore's not serving as president when he got more votes than the *loser.*

Gore made lemonade out of that particular lemon, and good for him. But we are all the losers for not having had eight years of Gore at the helm.

[glesslib]

One of the recent spate of books on the Supreme Court was being discussed on NPR by its author a few weeks ago. (Sorry I don't remember his name) He said that Sandra Day O'Connor and her husband were at a party while the election was hanging in limbo, but before it was handed over to the SC to decide.

She is a lifelong Republican and former State Chairman. She and her husband were telling other guests that W should win, even before she had the election information. She ended up being the swing vote on this issue. Supposedly, she had always liked the father and thought our boy would do just fine, and besides, he was a Republican.

It is reported that she sees Geoge Bush as a huge disappointment as president. Well, as the kids used to say, DUH! And thanks, Sandra, nice going.

[tcagle]

Bush will earn his own Nobel Peace Prize by making the US so poor that we can't afford bullets for an army to attack other countries anymore.

[dawlishgal]

Well before that happens, we won't be able to afford to honor our social security committments. But--you can count on it-- we'll still be paying to arm other countries, countries with governments that CAN AND DO find the money in THEIR budgets to provide healthcare for their own people (while we are told that we can't afford it for ours).

It is the power of our military-industrial complex AND the gullibility of our populace that this situation is allowed to go on and on and on and on (while we are the only non-3rd world country that fails to consider healthcare as a basic human right).

[tcagle]

Too true, dear, too true.

[gaby]

i should have known . why do i always lose to lucy and still come back to kick the ball in the fall

[Galvestonians for Dr. Ron Paul]

Reading this I got scared!!!!I got half way through it and realized I heard something on TV last night about Scalia, but chose to ignore it...
Until I read you were a comedian, I believed what I was reading!
VERY FUNNY!!
HA HA!
You really would of had me going should you have used Roberts instead!

:)

[TommyMcCarthy]

Isn't Borowitz great that way?! I did the same thing w/ his piece on Hillary running attack ads on herself...­wuz halfway through the piece before I caught on that it was satirical. You know a post/piece is a goody when you wish it had been longer. Great stuff!!

[Joeseo]

Supremacy has no error. The Court is correct again. We honor those five justified Conservative
members for doing the right thing. Our President is again serviced justly.

This action will put an end to those limo-liberal elites insistence we Americans need proper guidance.

[gevan]

You have a limo?? Come on now. You gotta share it.

[boomer1949]

After everything else? Nothing would surprise me...

[UnionJok]

Thanks, Andy!

[herronsmith]

Now wouldn't that be scary if indeed your post came to fruition. Stranger things have happened and we have almost 8 years to prove it so.
Are you as charming as you are funny?

[fact finder]

Andy : YUP.