WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - With just hours until the historic vote on health care reform, the Tea Party movement has taken up a new battle cry, protesting what they believe is a "government takeover of Congress."
Thousands of self-styled Teabaggers marched on the Capitol today to make the point that, in the words of one of their number, "Voting has no place in Congress."
"Our forefathers designed Congress to be a place where people talked and talked and never got anything done," said Teabagger Tracy Klugian. "This whole voting thing that's going on Sunday is tantamount to a government takeover of Congress."
The protest march was planned to begin at the Capitol and then move to the U.S. Postal Service, where the Teabaggers plan to protest a government takeover of mail.