BOSTON (The Borowitz Report) - At a Tax Day rally held by the Tea Party movement, hundreds of Teabaggers assembled to voice their opposition to government, taxation, and other three-syllable words.
Rallying the faithful, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin sought to clarify the mission of the Tea Party movement: "We are not just against big government. We are against big words!"
Gov. Palin added, "We are 'The Party of No,' and you know why? 'No' is one letter easier to spell than 'yes'!"
According to a new poll, one out of ten Americans define themselves as Tea Party activists, with that number even higher if one includes the people who responded, "What does 'activist' mean?"
Elsewhere, Larry King's wife reportedly filed for divorce after catching him sending sexy messages on his telegraph key. More here.