U.S. Sends Paparazzi to Find Bin Laden

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In a bold new strategy designed to locate the world's most wanted man, the United States today dispatched a team of paparazzi to find Osama bin Laden.

"If these people can find George Clooney when he's vacationing on Lake Como, they can find Osama," one intelligence insider said.

According to those familiar with the mission, the U.S. is using all of the paparazzi assets at its disposal, including TMZ.

"If the paparazzi are going to find bin Laden any time, it's now," one source said. "Right now in Afghanistan it's Fashion Week."

Elsewhere, Afghan president Hamid Karzai said that his recent victory "proves that democracy works in Afghanistan, as long as there are no elections." More here.