07/22/2010 08:35 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

USDA Offers Sherrod Authority Over Farmville

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In an effort to rectify its treatment of former employee Shirley Sherrod, the USDA today offered Ms. Sherrod an expanded job at the Department of Agriculture, including total authority over Farmville.

With Facebook now claiming over half a billion members worldwide, Ms. Sherrod's new job would mean responsibility for approximately 2.3 trillion imaginary sheep.

Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack called Ms. Sherrod "the perfect person" to oversee Farmville, adding, "I am confident that she will do as much for the white sheep as for the black ones." More here.

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