Alaska's Moose-Shootin' Quitter-in-Chief Waves Goodbye. People with Brains Everywhere Rejoice

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin bid a fiery farewell Sunday amid a legion of supporters, thus ending The Fairbanks Follies, the most bizarre chapter in U.S. political history. Where she goes from here is anyone's guess. But if the conspicuous absence of coverage in Monday's New York Times and Wall Street Journal is any indication, no one really cares.

In her semi-angry, condescending 15-minute speech, the self-proclaimed maverick pulled no punches with her detractors. Of the media she said:

You represent what could and should be a respected, honest profession that could and should be a cornerstone of our democracy. Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So how about in honor of the American soldier, you quit makin' things up.

Yer darn tootin' right there, Sarah! You betchya, girl! But if only that were true. Please tell us exactly what the press made up about you, because the way I see it, your reputation for being a vacuous, uninformed, un-curious, un-read, inarticulate political lightweight is 100 percent factual.

She continued bashing the press:

One other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family, too, so leave his kids alone.

Well if the new governor shamelessly parades his "very nice family" around like political props they way you did with yours, they'll be up for grabs too.

And as for those amoral show-biz folk:

By the way, Hollywood needs to know, we eat, therefore we hunt!

Yeah, Hollywood, take that...you coke-sniffin', fake-boobin', blasphemous anorexics! (By the way, I was 'huntin' for a nice skirt steak at Gristede's the other day. Does that make me a 'real American' or a Hollywood sleazeball?)

To say Palin is an unpredictable enigma is not enough. She's a walking contradiction. An uber-hypocrite who rails against "government bailouts" but as governor gave every Alaskan $1200 in "energy relief." Kinda hard to paint yourself as a role-model for small-government when your populist moves result in a $741-million handout. That's why Alaskans loved her, temporarily. Her approval rating was a whopping 93 percent two years ago but has since dwindled to the mid 50's this month. She exits office with a bloated budget, sagging oil revenues, rising unemployment and personal popularity that's hemorrhaging. She can blame Hollywood, the media, Democrats, President Obama, the Bogeyman and whoever else she wants. But she personifies Harry Truman's famous adage, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." She's a quitter. And nobody likes a quitter. Especially sitting in the Oval Office.

While she and the kool-aid drunken, MILF-lovin' Republicans who adore her delude themselves into thinking she's our next president, the rest of us sane Americans know there's not a shot in hell she'd ever make it beyond a GOP nomination, and even that's being generous. She's an empty Versace suit. Style over substance. All smoke and mirrors. And the mirror's gonna get foggier and foggier with each passing day that Palin hits the national stage and opens her mouth. Let's not forget how her woeful inadequacy, cheesy folksiness and obnoxious colloquialisms already derailed one presidential campaign. Now with the word quitter added to her existing unimpressive resume, she's got as much chance of becoming president as I do. I might actually have a better shot...

Comments

[demigod]

I was in Alaska when former Governor Palin resigned. Everyone was shocked - she had just met with the Alaskan Congressional delegation a day or so before, but told no one of her plan to resign. This is on a par with Governor Sanford sneaking off to Argentina without telling anyone, including his staff. The Anchorage Daily News was reporting that the two top State Health officials were both resigning, in protest of then-Governor Palin's anti-abortion policies, which she was trying to enforce in state government. The ADN was also reporting that native subsistence fishermen were defying a state fishing ban, because they and their families needed fish to eat this winter. The ban was necessary because the king salmon were returning in very small numbers this year - why ? Because then-Governor Palin was allowing corporate fishing trawlers to plunder the fishery. She also was making no effort to enforce by-catch regulations. This permits huge numbers of fish to be killed and discarded by commercial fishing boats.

[JimCT]

Where can I get a "Palin 2012" bumper sticker? Run, Sarah, run. Please.

[lordmi]

on ebay.

[gabby09]

"Style over substance"? I think not.

You've given her more credit on this one than she deserves. She lacks both.

dogdaysofd­ating.word­press.com

[digeridoo2]

Yes indeed, glory be to us, the enlightened of America!

[SharpDressedMan]

Sarah and the media are inseparable but incompatible, as in a love hate relationship. Criticizing the media is nothing new for Sarah who pledged to be transparent then broke that pledge time and time again. "Honest" Sarah doesn't want the media catching her makin' stuff up.

Sarah's definition of "media" isn't conventional. To her the media appears to be the gotcha news organizations and bloggers. Those evil doers who don't agree with her statements, vet her, expose her record, interview her in ways that reveal her weaknesses, prove her wrong or don't present events involving her the way she prefers.

I am not sure what she calls the media organizations she likes and feeds information to. These include Fox, The Today Show, People Magazine, John Ziegler, local talk show host Eddie Burke and some pro Palin web sites.

Sarah Palin is a private citizen now and not obligated to be covered for public interest. But she wants that public exposure and on her terms. She wants her name in the news. She wants accolades and attention while dishing out her deception du jour.

[mcmingus]

So true, and well stated.

[lordmi]

by the way, that was media, who made her seen nationalwide.

[mobetta]

Looks like Sarah's taking dubya's "if you don't support my war, then you're not supporting the troops" line to a new level.
Notwithstanding a few comic jokes, her gratuitous and lame attempt to connect our disrespect for her ignorance with our respect of our troops fell miserably short. Moreover, as a veteran who intended to vote for John McCain until he chose her as his running mate, I am disgusted by her basic lack of knowledge about anything.
As far as the rapidly shrinking number of clueless sychophants who idolize her and think that she is the ONE, if they didn't get the hint in 2008, maybe they will in 2012; They STILL think George Bush and Dick Cheney were great.
Absolutely Amazing!

[johnashman]

But you weren't disgusted by Obama's lack of knowledge about anything? Kinda doubt you'd ever intended to vote for McCain. Of course, my suggestion to the McCain camp was that you don't pick a VP that legitimizes inexperience. But still, the idea that Palin is stupid, inexperience and unknowledgeable but Obama isn't is simply ridiculous. Especially since one was running for VP, the other for top dog. If Obama can be president, anyone can be. Larry the dog catcher would be great in 2012.

[demigod]

You are simply wrong. Palin IS stupid. Obama is brilliant, and I say that having been very disappointed in some of the things he's done so far. Still, calling him a know-nothing only proves how ignorant and jaded you are. Not just anyone can be President - just ask John McCain. Larry the Dog Catcher, if his name really IS Larry, and if he really IS a dog catcher - would be a step up for the Republicans.

[GreatTruthsSeeker]

As a veteran, I found her remarks regarding supporting the troops by "quit makin things up" to be quite insulting.

Sometimes, when the media actually reports the truth, it may appear to be somewhat cruel. The bottom line is that the truth is simply the truth, and some of those that are affected by it tend to wither and get defensive.

Four manifestations of defensiveness are denial, rationalization, minimization and projection. I ask those of you that see positive potential in her to take a bath in the truth and let your defensiveness go down the drain.

[warriorwoman73]

Very well put.

[Senzasord]

Perhaps the biggest indictment against Sarah Palin's lack of judgement, intelligence, and her self serving ambition is the readiness by which she accepted the role as token female for the conservative movement. That she was masterfully typecast by the Republican Party goes without saying. But she played her role with a bit too much gusto to demonstrate any grip on reality whatsoever.

Sarah Palin puts the ick in pathetic.

[BossBabe]

I'm tweeting that Right Now. "Sarah Palin puts the ick in pathetic."

Thanks!

[GYRainforest]

Andy, you have been too hard on Sarah Palin. Rebuke her for her substance but do not be mean.

[tifaret]

Yes, andy, be mean! Be mean!

[AirForceWx1701]

I believe it was the Daily Show that referred to this whole situation as "The I-quit-arod". This tr1ck got more news by quitting than by doing anything substantive as Governor of Alaska! What is this nation coming to?

[BocaMom]

Be careful what you wish for. We said the same things about Ronal Reagan. And he was our President for 8 years. God forbid another 8 years of Reagan!

[johnashman]

I'd take 8 years of Palin over 4 years of Obama. We'll probably need 8 years of Palin to fix 4 years of Obama.

[catsmom]

Problem is, she'd QUIT after two years!

[warriorwoman73]

You need to stop thinking with your lower head and start being objective. Palin is a narcissist and has no leadership qualities whatsoever.

As for "fixing 4 years of Obama", you're ahead of yourself. Presently the focus is on fixing the last 8 years of BUSH, as if I have to remind you.

[themeeg]

Fortunately for America, that will never happen.

Her fifteen minutes are just about up. The radio stations have turned her down. Her memoir is going to flop come spring, because no one will care.

[Kremfresch]

Yeah, damn right! We don't need no big brain thinkin and book learnin types in the presidency. just some good old fashioned pig-ignorance, a huge ego, a persecution complex, and a nice sense of personal entitlement!! As long as she likes to kill animals from helicopters, Trot her kids around the country as stage props on the taxpayer's dime, and let her underage daughter's boyfriends sleep over, That's all I need to know to know she'd be an excellent leader... At least till she quit.

[mychagal]

Thank you Andy for this intelligent article. Everything you have said is true. EVERYTHING!

[aloha43]

DITTO!!

[gs425]

People without brains hear you loud and clear.

[buddiecat2]

"..Quit making things up?' She had to be talking about FOX NEWS.

[tifaret]

No, she was talking about ann coulter.

[MH-California]

I can not understand how ANYONE can even think for one second that she can be serious candidate for anything, let alone the presidency. I am still in shock that she actually became a governor, but I am thinking that was just a fluke of some sort. She is stupid, mean, vicious, small minded, selfish, self important, etc.

I never forget, after the vp debate there was a repulican strategist on cnn and when asked how she though Palin had done compared to Biden, her response was, Oh I think she was great. she won this debate. Americans are so tired of politicans that confuse us all with facts. She is just the right politician for Americans, the apple pie, beer drinking politiican. I think all americans should be deeply insulted that we would not want our politicians to "confuse us with facts".

[johnashman]

Really? I don't remember her calling you any names. Please see a mirror for help.

[TexasDem0]

The description is accurate. As a point of grammar, adjectives are not nouns, names are nouns. There was no name calling.

[godless09]

oh touche! Such wit I have to remember to use that one. WTF it doesnt even make sense "please see mirror for help"????

[TexasDem0]

Yet every day, self-proclaimed political expert Chris Mathews tells us that Sarah is presidential material. Will he ever start thinking with his brain?

[johnashman]

She had more experience than Barack Obama. And far more experience governing.

[mobetta]

Chris Matthews telling us that Sarah Palin is presidential? I don't think so, unless he was being facetious.
Matthews despises that Palin or anybody considers her presidential. He refers to Palins gaffs as her constantly hitting the "idiot button."