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An Open Letter to Frightened Married Heterosexuals

08/06/2010 10:45 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

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In the wake of the overturning of California's Prop 8 ban on same sex marriage, you terrified straight folks are once again regurgitating the old homophobic propaganda that gay marriage threatens the great institution of "natural" heterosexual marriage. You know, the kind that Mel Gibson, O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Joey Buttafuoco, Klaus von Bulow, Newt Gingrich, Mark Sanford, John Edwards and countless others have been so respectful of.

Of course, nothing could be as ridiculous and unfounded as this threat, which is based on ignorance and self-hatred. I'm sorry, but two gay dudes could literally be fisting each other on my front lawn while blasting Liza Minelli and it still won't threaten my straight relationship in any way. If you truly think it'll threaten yours then perhaps you're not as straight as you think you are. Maybe you actually want some of that gay action, and rather than be honest with yourself about who you really are, you amp up the testosterone and lash out at those who are living truthfully.

Listen, heteros, just what the hell are you so afraid of anyway? Why does it bother you so much...why does it arouse so much anger and passion... at the thought of two gay people in love who wish to marry? Do you think preventing gays from marrying will make homosexuality go away? Do you think preventing same sex marriages will end same sex relationships? Are you paranoid that a roving, predatory, wedding-banded rainbow-cock will come flying into your unsuspecting manly-man mouth if you walk down a street full of married gays? This issue is about human rights. Civil rights. Peace, love and happiness. So how about you just chill out and live your life and let gays live theirs?

All you petrified straights should get used to the idea that gays and gay marriage aren't going away. You should finally show some decency, respect and appreciation for our gay friends, as they are part of America's fabric. They stand beside you as they fight your wars, teach your kids, care for your sick elders, employ you, patrol your neighborhoods, fight your fires, do your taxes, cook your meals, cut your hair, entertain you and more. They love this country just as you do, and they deserve the same freedoms as you, especially when it comes to sharing their lives with those they love.

To be sure, gays are not the first group to be discriminated against when it comes to marriage. Prior to a landmark Supreme Court ruling in 1967, interracial marriage was against the law in many states. Think about how unfathomable it would be for it to still be illegal today. Well, this narrow-minded, infuriating, fear-based effort to keep gays from marrying is just as unfathomable.