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Dick Cheney Does Not Support Gay Marriage. He Supports His Daughter's Gay Marriage

07/04/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

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So Dick Cheney has come out in support of gay marriage. Big fucking deal. If anyone thinks that, at his core, Cheney actually cares about homosexuals and their civil rights or lack thereof...I have some cabins in the mountain region of Pakistan they might be interested in buying.

Earlier this week Cheney said he doesn't have "any problems" with same-sex marriages, adding "I think, you know, freedom means freedom for everyone. I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish," and said the issue should be handled at the state level.

Cheney's sudden love and respect for gays is 100% about his daughter Mary, period. Do you honestly think that before she exited the closet, and dating back to his Bush 41 and Nixon days, that he was a passionate proponent of gay rights? If so, I suppose you also think Newt Gingrich and Tom Delay hang out together watching Project Runway while feeding each other fondue?

To be sure, what we're witnessing here is classic self-serving, hypocritical, double-standard, Republican "do as I say not as I do" rationalizations:

"I'm against gay marriage until I learn that my kid's gay"

"I'm anti-abortion until my kid needs one"

"I'm against stem-cell research until it's my relative being ravaged by cancer"

I'm a military hawk until my kid dies in battle"

I'm against plug-pulling until it's my loved one who's rotting in a vegetative state"

I'm pro-guns until it's my husband, wife or kid who gets shot by one"

"I'm all about family values until I'm caught cheating on my wife"

Cheney's support for gay-marriage is the most disingenuous advocacy ever. He's a rabid conservative on every single other social, environmental and fiscal issue, and is no more a genuine fan of gay-marriage than I am a proponent of Joey Buttafuoco-style hetero unions.