11/28/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Out on the Campaign Trail with the McMuppets

These days, its hard to tell the difference between Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign and Sesame Street. The award winning children's educational television program has a colorful cast of imaginative characters like Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Oscar the Grouch, Kermit the Frog, Wolfgang the Seal and Nigel the Conductor. But over on Straight Talk Street we have Joe the Plumber, Joe the Chocolate Maker, Cindy the Citizen, Gary the Dentist, Jim the Produce Stand Owner (Mr. Hooper?) and Ramon the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce President to name a few. But the only thing we learn from this twisted show is just how low a candidate is willing to stoop, and how much he is willing to lie and deceive, in order to win.

McCain and his grating-voiced running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, are so desperate just eight days away from the election that they continue to ratchet up the inflammatory rhetoric against Sen. Barack Obama and his vice presidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden, resorting to more and more blatant lies and distortions of the truth. And in classic psychological projection that would make Freud proud, they accuse the Democratic ticket of doing and saying everything that in fact they are doing and saying. If it weren't so disturbing it'd be comical.

They're attacking Obama for wanting to "spread the wealth," all because he intends to roll back the massive tax cuts President Bush gave the wealthiest 1% of Americans eight years ago. They say he's a socialist. Well, if it wasn't socialism to give huge tax breaks to the rich, then taking them away certainly isn't either.

Then they pounced on Biden over his "Obama will be tested" remark. There was refreshing honesty and truth in that statement (qualities terribly lacking in McCrusty the Grouch and Miss Palin). Was Woodrow Wilson not tested with World War 1? Was Herbert Hoover not tested with the 1929 stock market crash and the Great Depression? Was FDR not tested by Adolph Hitler and Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor? Was Harry Truman not tested by World War II and the bombing of Japan; the Korean War; and McCarthyism? Was Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower not tested by the Cold War? Was JFK not tested by the Cuban Missile Crisis? Was Lyndon B. Johnson not tested by JFK's assassination, Vietnam and the civil rights movement? Was Richard Nixon not tested by China, Vietnam and the assassinations of RFK and Martin Luther King Jr? Was Jimmy Carter not tested with the Iranian hostage crisis and the OPEC oil squeeze? Was Ronald Reagan not tested by Russia; the Beirut, Lebanon barracks attack; and his own assassination attempt? Was George Bush Sr. not tested by Saddam Hussein? Was Bill Clinton not tested by Slobodan Milosevic? And was George W. Bush not tested by the 9-11 attacks and the current economic maelstrom? Every president is tested, and it's irresponsible to suggest otherwise. It simply comes with the job. And it's especially reprehensible to imply that Obama in particular will be tested because he's perceived as young, inexperienced and weak.

Grandpa John and Grandma Sarah are now hammering home the notion that a Democratic triumvirate of Obama, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is tantamount to political Armageddon, despite the fact that for virtually all of the last 15 years power has been concentrated in the hands of Republicans, who've been mired in cronyism, scandal and corruption. Perhaps a Democratic hat-trick is just the medicine we need.

McPalin has also resorted to shameful robocalls in which Obama is painted as a terrorist-wannabe. I guess Obama's "radical associations" demonstrates the kind of behavior folks like Gen. Colin Powell condone.

And they accuse Obama of being an elitist (can you be an elitist and a socialist??), while Saucy Sarah spends $150,000 on clothes, hair and make-up in a 45-day period....and her boss owns nine homes and thirteen cars.

This week the new McNasty mantra is that Obama's "measuring the drapes" and "planning his first address to the nation." Where does this nonsense even come from?

I really can't wait for next Tuesday night. Of course, it'll be wonderful and historic to see Obama become our 44th president. But also to finally bid adieu to John the Liar and Sarah the Evangelical Airhead.