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Andy Ostroy

Andy Ostroy

Posted: May 27, 2009 09:25 AM

Shame on You California


2009-05-27-prop8cartoon.jpg

The California Supreme Court had an opportunity Tuesday to do the right thing and overturn the thinly-passed Proposition 8 gay-marriage ban which the state's homophobes voted into law through a ballot referendum last November. To no one's shock or surprise, they upheld the controversial decision, even as many other states like Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey and New York have moved to legalize such unions. Clearly, not everything progressive originates in The Golden State. This time, California can bask in its regressiveness (Prop 8 was an answer to an earlier Supreme Court ruling last May to allow same-sex marriages). So, "the will of the people" wins, and logic, fairness and tolerance loses.

But Tuesday's court decision wasn't a total bust. They did throw homosexuals a bone (pun intended) by grandfathering in the roughly 18,000 gay marriages that took place between June and November. The fact that 36,000 gays will be able to live with straights in peaceful, non-institution-threatening harmony, as one big happy California marital family, is itself inherent proof that the ban is truly a whole lotta nonsense about nothing and worthy of absolute repeal.

I still don't get why, when we're fighting two wars, terrorists, an economic meltdown and a need for universal health care, certain people seem to care more about whether gays and lesbians legally marry. Is this really an issue? In trying to understand the motivation behind the opposition, I once again turned to my Republican pal Bryant, my right-wing muse and trusty barometer of all things politically irrational and illogical, who also happens to live in California. Bryant and narrow-minded, intolerant folks like him use as their biggest argument that the legalization of same-sex marriages threatens the sanctity of heterosexual marriage. But, through their intensely vocal opposition, they often fail to mention that some of them, like Bryant himself, have actually been married as many as three times. Kind of an odd little factoid for someone who passionately defends the institution they claim to hold so dear and wish to protect from all those domesticated queer folk. The hypocrisy, the blatant double-standard, is infuriating.

There can be no sanctity in hetero marriages when people like Bryant piss on the 'sacred' institution by getting divorced whenever they feel like it. The phrase "till death do us part" is not a cherished vow to these people, but a cliche catchphrase that's honored until they no longer have any use for it. These liars break their vows every day and then stand in judgment of gays, claiming to be better than them; more deserving of the great institution of marriage. I'm sorry, but the whole "do as I say, not as I do" bullshit is enough to make you puke.

And if it's not the "sanctity" card these homophobes are playing, what is it then? Is it simply a personal bias against gays? That they just don't believe in homosexuals getting married? Well, there are lots of ignorant bigots who don't believe in interracial and interfaith marriages either. How about we start passing laws and voter referendums banning these unions too? Where do we draw the line?

The nation's gay-bashers need to stop being such narrow-minded, frightened little twits. Don't worry boys, legalizing gay marriage doesn't mean some stealth homo's gonna sneak up on ya and suck your dick. Truth is, these amped-up testosterone-drunk assbags would probably like it, which is why they and so many other "straights" are always so preoccupied with what a couple of queers do to get off. As I like to say, those who bash the hardest are the ones with the biggest closet.

To be sure, there's nothing American about discriminating against anyone on the basis of race, religion, gender, age or sexual orientation. Banning same-same sex marriage is morally wrong, it's unconstitutional and, as so many progressive states have shown us, it's just a matter of time before there's a happy ending (pun intended) to this story.

 
 
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04:29 PM on 05/27/2009
"Don't worry boys, legalizing gay marriage doesn't mean some stealth homo's gonna sneak up on ya and suck your dick."

Honestly. Do you really think you're going to win over Middle America with by offending them?

If your goal is to jump in front of the angry crowd and lead the moral outrage against the injustice of Prop 8, then I suppose that kind of language is fine; but if you're seriously trying to advance the cause of equal protection under the law, it's the little old ladies in Pensacola, Tulsa, Fort Worth, and Tacoma whom you need to convince.

Using language like that quoted above doesn't make America freer; it just makes you a "dick" (pun intended).
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02:01 PM on 05/27/2009
Say each sentence out loud, stressing the word in caps:
CIVIL marriage is a civil right.
Civil MARRIAGE is a civil right.
Civil marriage IS a civil right.
Civil marriage is A civil right.
Civil marriage is a CIVIL right.
Civil marriage is a civil RIGHT.

...and it is coming soon to a state near you.
01:35 PM on 05/27/2009
Andy! I love your use of the entire English language. F*ckin' A !!!

I believe the reason the Christian right, especially, are so adamant in their opposition to "Gay Rights" is directly proportional to the number of self loathing closeted gays within their own ranks, the Larry Craig wing of the Rethuglican Party.
01:17 PM on 05/27/2009
Shame on you, gays and lesbians. You lost a ballot measure. What happened to you?

Marriage is not a right under the law. Never has been.
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02:27 PM on 05/27/2009
Sorry, but civil marriage IS a civil right that is legislated by each state's laws.
Voting is a civil right.
Divorce is a civil right.
CIVIL MARRIAGE IS A CIVIL RIGHT...coming soon to a state near you.
12:18 PM on 05/27/2009
The Nazi's, Communists , Taliban/Al Qaeda, Mormon's, Catholics, Christians and Republicans have attacked gays and lesbians for years! They share a goal and that is to end the movement for freedom for gays and lesbians. Who knew that Christians would fall under the same category as Nazi's when it comes to human rights. It's time to leave California and move to a more progressive state like Iowa!
11:10 AM on 05/27/2009
Us Californians originally voted for gay marriage, and are usually pretty tolerant. What happened this time is they launched all of these adds that insinuated that school children will be taught about gay marriage in grade school and somehow "turn gay". I guess most Californians are usually okay with other people being gay, but are still pretty paranoid when it comes to their kids.