Andy Stokan is a New York based actor/writer/cliché. His writing has been featured on gawker, collegehumor.com, and dutchwest.tv. He can be found at stokan.tumblr.com and at your Mom’s house. His favorite color is blue.

Blog Entries by Andy Stokan

The Rest of Lynn Jenkins' Apology

1 Comments | Posted August 31, 2009 | 08:18 AM (EST)





Nebraska congresswoman Lynn Jenkins recently apologized for offending anyone with her comment about her fellow Republicans "trying to find a great white hope." She said that the comment had nothing to do with President Obama and she claimed that she was completely unaware that the...

Read Post

People Shocked, Dismayed To Find Out Mark Sanford Was Having An Affair With A Woman

4 Comments | Posted June 27, 2009 | 05:10 PM (EST)


Like many people, when I found out that Mark Sanford had been having an affair with a woman who lived in Argentina I was shocked.

He was having an affair with a woman?

Not a man who had undergone gender reassignment surgery to become a woman? Not a transgender woman?...

Read Post

Jon Stewart vs. Comedy Central

Posted March 14, 2009 | 08:58 PM (EST)


As I was watching the one-sided cage match that was Thursday night's Daily Show I thought, wow, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at that network in quite the same way. I didn't quite realize how borderline irresponsible they have been in their programming, especially in this...

Read Post

Trouble in the Slums

Posted March 4, 2009 | 09:49 AM (EST)


It was revealed earlier this week that the two youngest kids from Slumdog Millionaire, Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali, have returned home and are already having problems. Azharuddin is suffering from "exhaustion" and Rubina is refusing to change out of her expensive designer dress. Also, their parents are trying...

Read Post

A New Beginning

Posted November 5, 2008 | 03:19 PM (EST)


These United States are confronted with an economic affliction of great proportions. It crushes the struggling young and the fixed-income elderly alike. It threatens to shatter the lives of millions of our people. Idle industries have cast workers into unemployment, human misery, and personal indignity. For decades we have piled...

Read Post

The Only Five Things Barack Could Say in Tonight's Debate That Could Keep Him from Winning the Election

Posted October 15, 2008 | 11:08 AM (EST)



5) Praise be to Allah.

4) Bill Ayers is not my friend. But he is my father.

3) You know what I really don't care about? 9/11.

2) It's not that I don't support the war in Iraq; it's just that I don't support the troops.

1) I think The...

Read Post

Damn Those Liberals and Their Government Assistance Programs

Posted July 31, 2008 | 02:43 PM (EST)


So it turns out that the motives of Jim Adkisson, the man who killed two people at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church, were that he was angered by the church's stance on gays and that he simply wanted to kill as many liberals as possible.

Oh,...

Read Post

Why I'm Voting for McCain

Posted July 26, 2008 | 11:47 AM (EST)


I used to like Barack Obama. I thought he seemed like a pretty good guy. But after this past week I can no longer give him my vote. I mean did you see how the media treated him? It's like they're in love with him! And I don't know...

Read Post

A Eulogy for Hillary Clinton

Posted June 4, 2008 | 12:30 PM (EST)


I was reciting the oath of office last night as I am wont to do (often a mirror is involved), and I was struck by the fact that nowhere does it specify that the president has an obligation to serve the best interests of the people. The Constitution yes, but...

Read Post

It's All Graydon Carter's Fault

Posted May 2, 2008 | 03:14 PM (EST)


Almost a week has passed, but like most good people, I'm still outraged. And shocked! I still can't believe such a thing could happen.

I mean, how could you, Miley Cyrus?

Shame on you for using your underage sexuality to boost your profile and...

Read Post