iOS app Android app

Andy Valvur
GET UPDATES FROM Andy Valvur
Andy Valvur is a stand-up comedian who was born in New York, grew up in Japan, went to boarding school in Switzerland and university in California. He is also a freelance writer/radio journalist who has written for the New York Times, Maxim, Cosmopolitan, BBC Radio, Deutsche Welle and is one half of the weekly international political satire series World in Colour with Almondi Esco. He divides his time between Cologne, Germany and San Francisco.

Entries by Andy Valvur

Kiss My Sanctions

(0) Comments | Posted June 10, 2014 | 4:28 AM

Details are slowly emerging from the after-party at last month's St. Petersburg International Economic Forum, where executives of Exxon, BP of Britain and Total of France signed a raft of new oil exploration deals with Russian oil companies.

The party, according to one unnamed source who was present,...

Read Post

Russia to Build 'Wall of Freedom'

(1) Comments | Posted April 9, 2014 | 1:44 AM

Vladimir Putin, in a closed door speech to the Duma, announced that in keeping with his aim of bringing back the glories of the Soviet Union, would build the "Wall of Freedom" to keep out the corroding effects of western influence.

"The Iron Curtain is nothing compared to the...

Read Post

The UN: A Hard Day's Nyet

(0) Comments | Posted March 28, 2014 | 10:55 AM

So 100 nations came together this week at the UN and said that the referendum that led to Russia's annexation of the Crimean peninsula was illegal. Cool right?

And then? Did Ban Ki-Moon rise up and demand the removal of Russian troops from Crimea? Nope. Did he send in...

Read Post

Kerry and Lavrov: The London Sessions (Secret Transcript)

(3) Comments | Posted March 14, 2014 | 9:41 PM

Kerry: Hello, Sergey. How are you?

Lavrov: Good, John. You?

Kerry: Fine, fine. How was your flight?

Lavrov: Nice. It's a short hop from Moscow. You know, John, I've always wanted to ask you: Do you have a bed on your plane?

Kerry: Not just a bed. There's a...

Read Post

Diplomatic Trash-talk Explained

(0) Comments | Posted March 10, 2014 | 12:20 PM

For those of you paying attention to the situation in Ukraine and Crimea (and you should because sooner or later bullets WILL fly) you have probably been hearing a lot of the diplomats use what I call "diplo-speak" when talking to the press.

These carefully crafted phrases are wonderfully vague...

Read Post

Moscow and Cairo Dating: It MUST be Valentine's Day

(0) Comments | Posted February 14, 2014 | 2:42 PM

Have you ever gone out with someone and then a few years later, started seeing each other again? It's kind of neat. There's a level of familiarity; you know what the other likes and you've gone through a break-up and now it's time for make-up sex.

So the picture of...

Read Post

Switzerland: Money Not People

(2) Comments | Posted February 11, 2014 | 6:58 AM

European Union officials were quick to chastise Switzerland for its decision over the weekend to limit the flow of workers across its borders.

Switzerland quickly responded that the decision applied only to humans not to money. Their motto is not dissimilar to the Emma Lazarus poem on...

Read Post

Sochi Winter Olympics Check-list

(0) Comments | Posted February 6, 2014 | 1:47 PM

So you're going to the Winter Olympics in Sochi as either a spectator or as an athlete. Congratulations. But this is no ordinary Winter Olympics. Enjoying your time there will take a bit of preparation.

So what can you expect? Needless to say, security will be tight. Getting backstage at...

Read Post