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The Real Romney: A Poem

10/24/2012 10:13 am ET | Updated Dec 24, 2012

The Real Romney

We won the lottery. Don't think this is normal. Don't think that your life will have the kind of plenty that ours has had.

I sometimes thought God put him on Earth so I could beat him six-love.

Tagg was in France on his Mormon mission. How can you afford that house?

His problem was macro, he wasn't catching fire with votes on the ground. We had a lot of data but no information.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

I used to smoke those myself. Don't run, I'll shake your hands anyway. I know you haven't got your makeup on yet. You do, you do! Good to see you!

Her husband's preferred term for her was CFO, or Chief Family Officer.

I've broken almost every bone in my body. I've had my head stitched up five or six times. I've broken my shoulder, my elbow, my ankle, my femur, most of my toes, most of my fingers.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

Brother Miles, I want you to take another wife.

There will be built between these volcanic ridges, a city, with spires and towers and steeples, with homes containing many inhabitants.

Romney for Governor. You know, I think I'm gong to run for governor. Should I run as a Republican or a Democrat?

He came up to the car and pretended to be a cop... He asked me to get out of the car and open the trunk, at which point we found the beer.

A wall. A shell. A mask.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

Principles are more important than men. Politics is like washing diapers.

It is a simple, Reaganesque anthem, served up to a Republican audience hungry for a credible, electable leader who will deny President Barack Obama a second term.

He's an old hand at this now.

Mitt Romney loves America, and he believes in its people.

A minister of religion or divinity student.

I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there, and in some ways it was frustrating not to feel like I was there as part of the troops that were fighting in Vietnam.

Based on thin tissue.

It offers a robust, effective social safety net, capable of incredible feats of charity, support, and service, particularly when its own members are in trouble.

Jesus will rule from Missouri in his second coming.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

I never actually ran one of our investments. That was left to management.

Bain and the wheel-rim maker.

This was its first big LBO hit.

I throw mine in the fountain over there.

Let Detroit Go Bankrupt.

You can kiss the American automotive industry goodbye.

I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them!

We need you to come in and run the organization.

Investment Firm Shuts to Help Find Girl.

Melissa had taken a train from Connecticut without telling her parents she was going to a concert, and she was found later in the week at a house in New Jersey.

I don't care how long it takes. We're going to find her.

He was all business or all family.

The Tin Man.

The search for Melissa was number one.

The number of lost souls was astounding.

Mitt's done a lot of things that people say are nearly impossible. I mean, money is just money.

His orbit was his own.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

The valley floor was five thousand feet above sea level, providing a climate cool enough to support peach and apple trees.

I now publicly declare that my advice to the Latter-day Saints is to refrain from contracting any marriages forbidden by the law of the land.

The Romneys' world came crashing down again.

The Romneys owned many cattle and chickens, farmed vast lands, and built sturdy houses in a town near the original settlement.

There was a great closeness between the sons and daughters of the four wives. All told there were thirty children.

The first displaced persons of the twentieth century.

The Mexicans thought if they could just take it away from the Mormon settlers, it would be paradise.

Congress established a $100,000 relief fund that enabled the Romneys and other Mormon exiles to receive food and lodging.

Even though Father was driven out of Mexico penniless...he didn't make me feel poor.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

Do I really want to stay at Bain Capital for the rest of my life?

Work was never just a way to make a buck to my dad.

Mitt, you never did it? You never tried?

In other words, who was Mitt Romney?

1-800-TEDS-OUT.

I will not embarrass you.

Wow... I'm sort of catching on here.

This is real.

Is Mitt here?

I used to smoke those myself.

I was very surprised he brought up my church. But Bain Capital was my baby and I'm back in town.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

They clutched $10 and $20 bills, stuffed them into their pockets, and even clenched them in their grinning teeth.

What have you people been doing for the last year? It was the Noah's Ark campaign.

Flexibility, adaptability, humility.

Freedom itself is at risk.

He has one last deal to close, and there's a lot of work still to do.

No, no, no. Just wear the shirt you've got on, a blue shirt, and a sports coat.

I never had a strategist.

It's so hard for some people who haven't spent their life -- or haven't spent a day! -- in the private sector to know how it works.

Some are still shopping.

Are you backing Mitt Romney?

Adopt dynamic regulations.



No Apology
.

Corporations are people, my friend. Of course they are.

We need you to come in and run the organization.

Note: This is a found poem, consisting entirely of fragments from Boston Globe reporters Michael Kranish and Scott Helman's book The Real Romney (Harper, paperback August 21, 2012), to both of whom I'm profoundly grateful.

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