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How To Handle Important Paperwork Before And After Divorce

Posted: 01/25/2012 12:20 pm

It's 2012 and tax time will soon be rolling around again. If you've recently gotten divorced, are in the process of getting a divorce or are contemplating divorce, we have some tips to help you. When we interviewed Garter Brides (women who got married over the age of 35) for our book "Love for Grown-Ups," we wrote a chapter called "Dollars and Common Sense" that lists all the financial things you should think about before marrying or re-marrying. Many of the women we talked to who were marrying for the second time told us what they did or wished they'd done when they got divorced. You should still consult an attorney or an accountant, but here are some things to consider:

Establish your credit. Whether you're a working wife or a stay-at-home mom if you have joint charge accounts, make sure you open some charge accounts in your name only. This goes for checking and savings accounts, too.

Handle joint debt - i.e. a mortgage. Check with your divorce attorney and your accountant as to how this should be handled and consider getting mortgage insurance. You don't want your kids left homeless if something happens to you.

Take time to make sure your divorce agreement is what you want. Some of the Garter Brides felt that when they were facing divorce all they wanted was to get it over with as quickly as possible and now regret that they didn't take more time with their divorce agreements, or have them read by someone else before they signed them. One bride told us "I would have signed anything as long as I could get custody of my son- and I did."

Make sure you understand any financial responsibility your ex-husband has to you and to your children. Is there a time limit on alimony? Is he responsible for your children's college tuition? What about his life insurance? Are you or the kids the beneficiaries? And is that guaranteed even if he re-marries? Are you entitled to share in his pension or IRA?

Get a new Power of Attorney. If your ex has your Power of Attorney, get a new one right away. The new Power of Attorney will supersede the previous one.

Write a new will right away. When you get divorced you should write a new will immediately. This is especially important when it comes to choosing guardians for your children. Whoever you had named in earlier wills may not be who you want responsible for your children in the future.

Change your passwords. Choose new passwords for computer programs, email etc.

Are you filing a joint tax return this year? Check with your accountant on how to handle this. You want to try and make this go as smoothly as possible.

The Garter Brides believe in love and romance, but we are also practical women who have worked hard for what we have and want to make sure our friends are careful when it comes to handling the important paperwork that is easy to overlook or put off until tomorrow. We have a question for you-

If you had it to do over again, is there anything you'd change in your divorce agreement?

Ann Blumenthal Jacobs, Patricia Lampl and Tish Rabe are the authors of Love for Grown-ups: The Garter Brides' Guide to Marrying for Life When You've Already Got a Life, a relationship guide for women over 35 on how to find Mr. on how to have the love and life you want. Right, marry and find life-long happiness. The Garter Brides are a sisterhood of women who got married later in life and wore the same garter at their weddings! They offer tried and true advice.

 
It's 2012 and tax time will soon be rolling around again. If you've recently gotten divorced, are in the process of getting a divorce or are contemplating divorce, we have some tips to help you. When ...
It's 2012 and tax time will soon be rolling around again. If you've recently gotten divorced, are in the process of getting a divorce or are contemplating divorce, we have some tips to help you. When ...
 
 
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01:52 PM on 02/15/2012
Love this book! Fun, easy reading ! Every women can relate easily to this book. The practical, and informative information is really invaluable to all women Essential for women to help them navigate through relationships that have different facets. It is such a treat to hear true stories , real issues especially in a day where people can give " appearances" that relationships are perfect. They should teach women this in a class in college!
01:30 PM on 02/03/2012
It's a pleasure to read a book that can give you important facts as well as bring to life real stories from real people. It's so inspiring to read a book that helps make a relationship work! Real world! This IS for grown-ups and anyone who seeks real happiness and isn't afraid to do some work to get it.
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capt hastings
exercise the little grey cells
07:48 PM on 01/27/2012
RE: beneficiaries on policies
My friend researched divorce related laws specific to her state before filing.
Where she lives, beneficiaries on retirement accounts, and probably other accounts, can't be changed once any separation or divorce filing is made unless it's mutually agreed upon or ordered by the court.
A few hours of this type of research can save years of headaches and loss of assets.
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trumbull desi
If I have something pithy to say, see below
04:04 PM on 01/28/2012
You are so right. I had a colleague pass away. He had changed his beneficiary from his first wife (with which he had no children) to his second wife (with whom he did have children). However, merely changing the beneficiary on the insurance form without filing some additional paperwork in his state meant that the first wife was entitled to the proceeds, and she wasn't willing to forgo the money even though my friend's wishes were very well known. It was a bad situation all aruond.
09:55 AM on 01/27/2012
This book is a must for all the single woman out there starting over looking for love, in a new relationship or newly married! This book is filled with great real life stories and will answer
all those questions that might just pop up! I love it and you will too, a hard one to put down!!!

Nancy
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belldn3
Fascinated by red polish on women
04:17 PM on 01/26/2012
Paper work? Just leave and don't come back. Disappear!
06:50 PM on 01/25/2012
All good... but.... check your credit report immediately to pick up on any irregularities such as mortgage payments that were late multiple times or credit cards that have been opened with your name on them that you had no idea about. Throughout the marriage, be involved in the financial affairs of your relationship and don't trust your spouse to be acting in your best interest. Demand to see paperwork for retirement accounts, keep an eye on the budget and that bills are actually being paid, and check your own credit report annually. Trust but verify! Too many people are blindsided by spouses who "were in charge" of the finances and made a mess.
01:37 PM on 01/26/2012
We thank you for your comment. We're romantics and believe in love, but we also believe in taking responsibility for yourself. Even if things are fine in your marriage you should know where all important documents are and you should read them! Know what they mean!
The Garter Brides