Traditionally, in January we clean up our acts. Whether it's organizing closets, basements, offices or our files, we use this time to regroup for the year ahead. Why not also use this time to clean up your online profile? If you are recently divorced, use this as your jumping off point for getting back in to the dating world by signing up with an online dating site. We spoke to countless women who met their husbands online and we want to share their insights and advice for creating a successful online profile. Here are The Garter Brides Top Ten Tips for making your online dating a success!
- The truth will set you free. Rounding up or down your age, weight or height is not approximating, it's lying. Tell the truth! You wouldn't want to find out someone lied to you when you meet him or her.
- Have a friend help you create your profile. We all know how difficult it is to describe your successes and credentials when writing your resume and it can be the same when writing your profile. If you haven't been "out there" for a long time, it's easier and more fun when someone helps.
- Tastefully sexy is the way to go with your online photo -- a little cleavage is OK, but don't take it too far. You want to be attractive, not trashy.
- Post at least two or three photos -- one full length. If you have a dog or cat, include them in one of the photos. It's an instant ice breaker. It gives the man an opportunity to say "I see you're a dog lover -- I have a golden. " And it can go from there.
- Edit! Don't make your profile too long -- read it to a friend. If someone who already loves you and thinks you're terrific is glazing over, then you know it's too long.
- Create visual descriptions -- Rather than writing "I like to laugh," write, "I love watching The Hangover and laughing 'till I cry," or substitute "I like adventure" with "I've recently taken flying lessons." Here's one more... instead of writing, "I'm physically fit," substitute with, "I play competitive tennis." Create an attractive visual rather than a fact sheet.
- Definitely say that you have children. Letting a prospective match know that family is important to you is, well, important.
- If you've been divorced say so -- but, no trashing your ex!
- Be specific about what you want. One woman we spoke to didn't want to meet a man who hadn't been married before. She felt that men who had never been married had issues that went deeper than men who had been divorced.
- Use correct grammar and spell check! It shows that you're not careless and are serious. Yes, the little things count.
We understand that many women are reluctant to create an online profile, but the Garter Brides suggest you do it. One of our brides tells this story of how she became a Garter Bride. She met her husband on Match.com -- her younger brother didn't think she was doing enough to meet men. She told him that she had explored online dating. Well, truth was, she hadn't set up a profile. She felt bad about this and opened a profile. Her future husband was the first match that came up! Remember, one date can change your life.
Have fun and remember it's never too late to have the life you want! Happy New Year from the Garter Brides.
Ann Blumenthal Jacobs, Patricia Lampl and Tish Rabe are the authors of Love for Grown-ups: The Garter Brides' Guide to Marrying for Life When You've Already Got a Life, a relationship guide for women over 35 on how to find Mr. Right, marry and find life-long happiness. The Garter Brides are a sisterhood of women who got married later in life and wore the same garter at their weddings! They offer tried and true advice on how to have the love and life you want.
Follow Ann Blumenthal Jacobs on Twitter:
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Tina
www.onemomsbattle.com
I agree with most of posters in that both men and women do not tell the truth about themselves.
I did meet a wonderful woman on Plenty of fish and we have been married for three great years
I still think it's the best and fastest way to meet someone. I must admit that at times it felt like a job.lol
Actually, I kind of liked long profiles. I'd feel like I almost knew the person after reading their profile. That, and with a long profile I'd feel like I had things I could talk about with them. It would make that initial email easier. If there's nothing in her profile, what do you say, "Wow, you're pretty?" I suppose a profile could be too long, but if you're attracted to what you see in the pictures then it's no bother to read a long profile that tells us who this person is, about her life right now and what she wants in a relationship and out of life.
I am marrying a woman I met on a dating site. I'm sure some would have thought her profile was too long. It was kind of long, but I was very intrigued by the "wink" when I saw her picture and reading her profile made me feel like I already knew her. I knew I had to meet her in person. We talked for a couple of weeks, went on our first date on September 25, 2010, and haven't looked back since. She liked my kind of long profile too, and that I didn't just say something like, "Hey, what's up?" in my email.
I do know guys lie a lot in their profiles too. Seems kind of dumb to me to lie about height or weight and post pictures that look nothing like you because they're going to see what you look like if you ever meet.
I didn't even tell people what I do for a living. I did for a brief time on one website but apparantly women all over are searching for single lawyers. I had piles of emails from all over the country and I felt like most emailing me probably wouldn't have even talked to me if I wasn't a lawyer or doctor or something like that. I am good looking though. :)
it's the same with women. if i wouldn't feel sexually attracted to you when i met you because of being too over weight and passed you over as potential boyfriend material, i won't be even after several emails and phone calls before seeing you like that. i would probably wonder what else you weren't fully disclosing.
i'd think more of someone who was straight and upfront about anything major. i wouldn't want anyone to not see a full body shot of me and then be surprised if we met.
now, i'm not saying that i would never be with anyone over weight... you never KNOW who you're going to fall for. but it's a plus if they're at least attempting to take care of themselves. i'm also not talking about folks who are just over weight. i'm talking about really obese people.
i refuse to live in a pc world. with some things, it is just what it is.
My ex wife is pretty darned big, but I loved her and would have stayed with her forever. We had almost no sex life though. I was almost always rejected. Then she had an afffair with some young black guy and since we've been divorced she's just gotten bigger and doesn't date white guys. I guess she was just never really that into me, and I just felt so cheated out of a love life during my prime. (Nearly 20 years together.) So, I kind of wanted to make up for lost time and be with someone who is sexy as can be to me, totally different than my ex wife.
The girl I'm with now is gorgeous, wears size zero jeans, thinks I'm the sexiest man alive and can't get enough of me, and she's a bright funny wonderful person who loves me and is so easy to please. Life is good.