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Ann Brenoff

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Sing Me A Lullaby

Posted: 02/04/2013 7:41 am

The joy of a good night's sleep just can't be overstated. And somewhere around my 50th birthday, I lost the ability to get one. I went from being someone who could shut her eyes and not open them for eight hours to a person who now does a victory lap around the bed if I manage four hours of sleep in a single stretch. Worse, you can always tell how much sleep I got the night before by how grouchy I am and how much I forget the next day. Today, I drove past my freeway exit.

The unfortunate trademark of our middle years is that while we can fall asleep with little effort, we don't stay asleep. I'm guessing that more than a few of you are nodding your heads in agreement right now -- that, or nodding off.

But some heartening news just hit: Those senior moments -- where we forget whether or not we fed the dog or can't remember what day of the week it is -- may not be the early stages of Alzheimer's or dementia. They may simply just be what happens to us from lack of shut-eye. The study out of UC Berkeley found what any one of us could have told them: If you aren't sleeping well, you are forgetting more.

Not feeling sharp during the day is bad enough. But thinking that that memory loss could be something bigger frightens the bejesus out of me. So yes, I'm embracing these findings like Linus does his blanket.

But it all comes back to the original problem: Not sleeping well. What makes this problem so extraordinary is that short of taking addictive sleeping aids, nobody has come up with a solution for it. Melatonin? Yeah right. Over-the-counter sleeping aids tend to be a waste of my money. Exercise, no alcohol, avoid spicy foods and X, Y and Z? We've all heard the same advice a million times and guess what? Some things work a little; some things work for awhile; some things work for some people and nothing works the way it should except the heavy-duty stuff that kind of puts you into a temporary coma. The first time I took an Ambien, I remember thinking it should be administered by an anesthesiologist who monitored your vitals while you slept.

The idea of taking a pill every night to stay asleep isn't a lifestyle I particularly want to choose for myself. I believe that our bodies have the ability to self-heal if we just let them. But I've been waiting patiently for that to happen and I'm still staring at the ceiling from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m. most nights. I swear the last calming herbal sleep-aid remedy I tried caused me stay awake longer.

There's one thing I know for sure: Whoever builds a better sleep aid is going to clean up. It will not be a white-noise machine, room-darkening shades, or earplugs to drown out spousal snoring. It will be a miracle, nothing less, and it will be embraced by a generation.

In the meantime, as I walk into the kitchen forgetting why I'm there or call my husband by my son's name, I find some small comfort knowing it's only because I'm tired.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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  • Get Moving

    Exercise 30 minutes a day. Nothing exotic is required; a good half-hour stroll will do the trick, but avoid exercising within three to four hours of bedtime.

  • Limit Caffeine

    Limit the use of all caffeinated beverages (coffee, tea, soft drinks) throughout the day and do not consume any after lunch.

  • Talk To Your Doctor

    Check all of your medicines with your doctor to see if they could be affecting your sleep.

  • Make The Bedroom A Bedroom

    Use the bedroom just for sleep. It may be time to invest in earplugs, an eye mask or even heavier curtains to block out extra light and sound. Don't be afraid to give fidgeting pets the boot and avoid eating, watching television or finishing work in the bedroom.

  • Adjust Room Temperature

    Make sure your bedroom is cool, dark and quiet. Try adjusting the temperature of the bedroom for a more optimal sleeping environment. (For easier temperature regulation throughout the night, ditch the singular heavy comforter and opt for piling on light layers that can be easily kicked off as needed.)

  • Sign Off

    Every night budget a "pre-sleep" period of time (say, a half-hour) to read a book or watch the TV news, and then go to the bedroom with lights out after the period is up. Don't ruminate. Practice <a href="http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/positive-thinking-stopping-unwanted-thoughts#" target="_hplink">"thought-stopping"</a> where you only allow yourself to worry about a problem during daytime hours. Refrain from checking texts and e-mails (physically banish your cell to a different room if necessary!) before and during your bedtime routine.

 

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The joy of a good night's sleep just can't be overstated. And somewhere around my 50th birthday, I lost the ability to get one. I went from being someone who could shut her eyes and not open them for ...
The joy of a good night's sleep just can't be overstated. And somewhere around my 50th birthday, I lost the ability to get one. I went from being someone who could shut her eyes and not open them for ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Paleo Nouveau
"It's not really about Paleo!"
07:32 PM on 02/05/2013
We seem to forget that our bodies are not stagnant. Life does not sit still. When we are young our bad habits have not had chance to take a cumulative effect on us. That comes later. If you think that you can still do what you did while you were younger without changing any habits you are a pharmaceutical company's ideal customer!

Unless you have a serious illness or condition, sleep can be remedied with proper diet, exercise and lifestyle modifications. You need to keep up with your body and the changes and limitations it has. Fortunately your body will respond and reward you accordingly!

Don't dismiss change and proper, natural and risk free changes that can help you. It may not be easy. It may take some experimentation and willingness to change. But YOU are worth it!

http://paleonouveau.com
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
06:00 PM on 02/05/2013
So thankful I'm not alone. Some things that help me sometimes...regular bedtime, quiet ceiling fan, cool room temp, dark room, soft foam ear plugs & divert ruminating thoughts with positive thoughts - plan something you are interested in, pray, give thanks for what you have. Good luck.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
NewDem08
Pay attention, there's a test later
02:19 PM on 02/05/2013
Tried melatonin, lavender, etc.

One thing that works very well is magnesium before bed - I believe around 500 milligrams? And calcium does WONDERS for leg cramps & leg "restlessness."

That's all the info this old person has.
12:50 PM on 02/05/2013
Heck, I thought this article was going to list some other things to help me sleep that I haven't tried yet! boo,hoo.

Glad to hear I'm not the only person who is cranky when I'm tired. Which is always.
11:01 AM on 02/05/2013
I haven't had a more than 3 to 4 hours of sleep for years. I use those awake hours to plot my novels, which usually puts me back to sleep. I hope that's not what happens to my readers!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mombabytiger
Looking into the heart of an artichoke.
04:13 AM on 02/05/2013
2 clonidine, 2 xanax. Night night.
07:01 PM on 02/04/2013
I find my bad night sleeps comes in a pattern -- I'll be fine for about a month and then wham! I'll have a week or two with the dreaded 4:00 a.m. then 3:00 a.m. then 2:00 a.m. then the awful why did I even bother going into the bed. thanks for sharing
05:58 PM on 02/04/2013
Starting having this problem ten years when I hit menopause. What works for me is having the thermostat set at 62 deg at night and having a fan blowing directly on me.
03:59 PM on 02/04/2013
I'm almost 65 y/o. I haven't really slept ALL night in a long time. I think the last time I did it was after I drank a 12 pack...really. It wasn't worth it either..LOL. I wake up two or three times usually, brush my teeth and take a leak. Breath Rite strips help some. When I finally get back to sleep the alarm clock goes off telling me it's time to get up and get ready to go to work. Other than that life's great..no kidding.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
teatwerp
the 2012 teadump is coming
03:10 PM on 02/04/2013
I sleep much better when the bedroom is very cool.
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jf12
When I saw her I marveled greatly.
02:47 PM on 02/04/2013
I sleep good. If I sit still during the day, I'll nod off, so I stay busy all day.
12:11 PM on 02/04/2013
Here's what always works for me (besides backing off on any caffeine after midday):

--outdoor aerobic exercise for 30 minutes to an hour or more or swimming laps for half an hour or more.
--sticking to one glass of wine in the evening (two or more can lead to your brain getting dehydrated in the middle of the night, so you'll wake up).
--not using my laptop right before bed: the light wakes up your brain.

I've been cross-co. skiing a lot this winter and on those evenings I fall into a deep uninterrupted sleep. Heaven.
MarkRB
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the libs.
12:03 PM on 02/04/2013
I'm 48, and it seems like the last year or so my sleeping through the night has gotten less and less, too. I used to be able to sleep straight through the night, and if I did wake up, I'd fall asleep again rather quickly. Now, though, I'll wake up several times during the night, and sometimes lay awake for a couple of hours before falling back asleep.
11:50 AM on 02/04/2013
You don't mention having sex before bedtime?

Hmmmmmmmmmm. I want to sleep like I did in my 20s, 30s and 40s.

Try it. Sleep like a baby afterward.

Rick
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
innerdream
11:49 AM on 02/04/2013
I take 1.5 milligrams of Melatonin nightly, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Usually it does help though.