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How To Find The Holy Grail of Joy

Posted: 02/13/11 05:17 PM ET

I think the fall in Eden was ultimately a failure to give thanks.

It's strange how we'd rather live tripping and stumbling than murmur that one word.

I came into this world the way every person on the planet does -- with clenched fists. Gratitude's not a natural posture. The prince of darkness is ultimately a spoiled ingrate and I've spent most of my life as kin to the fist-shaker.

Oh, I've had my reasons to gripe. Bad days. Broken dreams. Bickering kids. And long before all that, a sister's skull crushing under the tires of a truck. I was standing beside my mother and we witnessed it all, all her blood seeping into the thirsty ground. We buried her and any remaining notion of grace. Losses like that can bring the worst kind of sickness -- the bitterness spreading.

Augustine claimed that "without exception ... all try their hardest to reach the same goal, that is, joy."

The wild crusade of my life has been just this -- this straining after elusive joy while the virus of bitterness, of ungratefulness, keeps destroying.

I wasn't feeling particularly in need of a cure when I took up a friend's silly dare to write down a thousand things that made me happy. I knew she was just goading me, a way to prove that I had plenty of things to enjoy. So I grabbed a notebook. And began scribbling down whatever made me smile. Morning shadows across old floors. Jam piled high on toast. The cry of a blue jay high in the spruce.

It didn't seem I was fixing anything in the beginning. But each day I kept at it. It was easy and it made me happy, so I kept going.

Every day I'd number another five, another ten, and the game became a hunt, to see if I could find a bit of God's glory in my days. Washing dishes, at the stove stirring soup, I'd see the afternoon light spark on the rim of a pot and it'd spark me. I'd wipe my hands on my apron and reach for the pen. Although the world is ugly, it is beautiful.

I was waking up. Something in me started to stir. I realized how numbed and jaded I'd become. And I couldn't stop scratching it down -- blessings, graces ... God in the moment. Why hadn't I realized that joy was right in the middle of life, unlocked in the moments? Where did I think it should be? After all, it's only moments that make up a life. And if the riddle of life isn't unlocked in the moments, where is it found? Do not disdain the small. The whole of the life is made up of the minute parts, and if the infinitesimals are missed, the whole is missed too. Maybe I was starting to find what I couldn't miss?

Because what if the holy grail of joy isn't somewhere else but in the small things, in the moments? Maybe the secret was just this: to keep seeking God where we doubt He is.
For more than a decade research has been confirming it: "People are 25 percent happier if they keep gratitude journals compared to persons who are not keeping these journals, achieve up to a 10 percent reduction in systolic blood pressure, and decrease their dietary fat intake by up to 20 percent." I've found it true too: ink and a gratitude list can be cheap, potent medicine. It's written directly into our DNA, this need to give thanks, to give God His due.

Counting one thousand gifts, I discovered I could count on God. But this wasn't any Pollyanna-journey but a pilgrimage to the table of the Last Supper and Christ giving thanks for the incomprehensible, a journey right into the crux of the Christian faith and the very essence of what faith means. How can God be intimately experienced in circumstances of great suffering? How do we deal with the pain of our losses authentically and honestly? What if saving belief means something very different than what we've lived?

I was chronicling my second thousands of blessings when I sat at my sister's grave in spring. I still don't know why little girls die violent deaths. Why babies are born in filthy shacks and garbage dumps, and why mothers are ravaged with cancer and tragedy rips open whole nations to bleed. But I do know this: I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks for grace. Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn't rescue the suffering, but rather it's the converse that does. How does it save the world to reject joy when it is Joy Himself who saves us? I have yet to see bitterness better the world.

It's only when we wake to how blessed we are, when we take life as grace and give thanks for it, that we become the bread to be given to a starving world. This is our great weapon in the war.

I ran my hand across the engraved letters of my sister's name, her name that meant beloved. Instead of bitterness, I felt a new thing. I felt my hand opening to receive the gift of His will, the gifts He brings out of it all. I could live like this, I thought, that one word "thanks" on the tongue.

The grail, there at my lips.

Ann Voskamp is the author of 'One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are' (Zondervan)

 
I think the fall in Eden was ultimately a failure to give thanks. It's strange how we'd rather live tripping and stumbling than murmur that one word. I came into this world the way every person on...
I think the fall in Eden was ultimately a failure to give thanks. It's strange how we'd rather live tripping and stumbling than murmur that one word. I came into this world the way every person on...
 
 
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11:20 PM on 02/16/2011
Being aware of things like the sound of birds makes us happy, not the sound. Wake up, it all arises from that. By the way, the god concept and gratitude are unnecessary.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
grailknight
is happily godless
06:54 PM on 02/16/2011
"Failure to give thanks?" Hardly. We've been inculcated that performing the forbidden action is human failing when it is in fact, and Joseph Campbell has addressed this, the making of humanity. Remaining in Eden is reamining in the field of eternity. Nothing happens there, certain not sex! In the true mythic context eating forbidden fruit takes man from stasis to action.
Imagine going to confession and saying, "bless me father, for I have been great!" Live life as if you intended it!
04:05 AM on 02/16/2011
You said you don't know why those bad things happen. I do. It isn't God's fault. He doesn't/can't interfere because we're responsible for this world, even though we can connect with Him/Her, and we do that partly by giving thanks for our opportunities, not really for tragedies. As long as we insist on shutting out God or the divine, the world will stay devoid of His (life's) blessings. But we can see we have the chance to let Eden reappear: right in our own lives, and then it can happen beyond!
Stewart
http://spiritnexus.blogspot.com/
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FreedToChoose
...lest my wife says I'm not.
11:29 PM on 02/15/2011
Joseph Campbell encouraged people to say, "Yes." to life, to accept it just as it is. In my experience, so doing yields joy as a precipitate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
grailknight
is happily godless
08:02 PM on 02/16/2011
"live as if you intended it." Joe C.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Daleri Rileda
Jungle Jargon
03:38 PM on 02/15/2011
Sorry about your sister,

You are on to something, Joy is the key.

We do need to be grateful thanking our Maker for everything.

The way to find joy is to be able to do the right things that give us a clear conscience.

Salvation is through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth. (That is a verse from the Bible.)

God is able even though we are not.
10:59 AM on 02/15/2011
Ann, beautiful. Just beautiful.

Gratitude belongs to the Maker and there is where we find true and lasting joy. When we recognize who we are before God and what He has done so that we (man) are not separated from Him, it puts joy in a whole new light.
09:28 AM on 02/15/2011
***And long before all that, a sister's skull crushing under the tires of a truck. I was standing beside my mother and we witnessed it all, all her blood seeping into the thirsty ground***

With all due respect, was this graphic description really necessary?
09:27 AM on 02/15/2011
It's in that temple, guarded by the 500 year old knight.
 
Once you pass challenges numbering three, you must choose the true grail and drink holy water from it.
 
Choose wisely, for where the true grail will give you life, the false grail will take it from you.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
grailknight
is happily godless
06:48 PM on 02/16/2011
That's Indy. Check out Parsifal, or L'Morte d'Arthur. The Grail is about living with intention.
01:29 AM on 02/15/2011
I am so sorry that you lost your sister so tragically. It surely takes a lifetime (or a long time) to come to terms with such an awful loss and edge forward. God Bless.
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c-tom
Badges we don't need no stinking badges
09:59 PM on 02/14/2011
" I think the fall in Eden was ultimately a failure to give thanks." The Bible says we were tossed out of Eden because god was afraid we'd eat the fruit of eternal life and become gods like him. Hard as I find it to believe you understand god's ways better than the Bible, I find it more difficult to believe keeping a joy journal will make stop eating french fries.
11:02 AM on 02/15/2011
And why would we want to be like God? Because we were discontent with the position God gave us. We were ungrateful, no?
Keeping a journal is only as useful as the gratitude of the person keeping it. The journal is merely a tool.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nlightenup
Retired psychologist, responds to open minds.
03:21 PM on 02/14/2011
It's always nice to find one's own experience reflected in the writings of others, and I'm sure there are beaucoups others for whom your story resonates. You write a "Little Way" for the early 21st century. I bet you even get a rose now and then, yes?
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Indigo1941
Time traveler.
01:45 PM on 02/14/2011
Externals don't help, not even calling on Hercules or Jesus or Amun-Ra. Nothing "makes" us happy, we decide to be happy or we don't. Externalizing just makes it somebody else's job but it's not somebody else's job how we feel about anything, it's our job.
11:06 AM on 02/15/2011
Joy is an attitude and it is not based in our circumstances or even our own feelings or will. Lasting joy is certainly not based inside myself simply because I will fail myself every single time. When I count on joy from God, from whom I know will not fail me, joy is lasting. Joy and happiness are very different. You can be happy and not have joy. Likewise, you can have joy and not be happy. Joy goes beyond happiness.
01:37 PM on 02/14/2011
Thank you for sharing Ann, by giving thanks we aren't avoiding the pain that is a constant on this globe but opening our arms to receive whatever beauty there is to be had in the midst of the pain. This gift list is challenging me to trust and believe God in a deeper way that, to be honest, I've been avoiding. He *is* good, and you have encouraged me to grab hold of that and trust. Thank you.
01:06 PM on 02/14/2011
Mushrooms are a gift from the gods, along with poppies, mj, and a few other god-given plants. All bring joy, which is why most are outlawed.
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Indigo1941
Time traveler.
01:46 PM on 02/14/2011
That's a fair point. Those gifts of the gods don't last but it's still a fair point.
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brooklyncitizen
Soror quaerens lucem
11:52 AM on 02/14/2011
I keep a journal of gratitude and fill it with simple and sometimes silly things I'm grateful for...and big ones too. It's very grounding.