Saying "Yes" Begins by Saying "No" -- The Datebook as a Tool for Spiritual Life

Over the next few weeks I am going to post excerpts from a course series I've led with my good friend Debra Satterwhite called "Spiritual Toolbox." Today's blog is Part Three of Saying "Yes" Begins by Saying "No".

The Datebook as a Tool for Spiritual Life

First, before you read any further, quickly write down the top five priorities in your life.
Once you have done that, look at the last week of your life as it is currently listed in your datebook/PDA/calendar. Have you set aside time for all five of these during your week? If so, have you given them enough time. If any of them are missing from your schedule, consider why that is the case.

Second, the datebook is one of our best allies in the quest for living a spiritual life. I learned from Eugene Peterson that this is because a datebook/PDA/calendar is something our society accepts as virtually unassailable and beyond question. These scheduling tools define and protect boundaries -- and boundaries are essential to living a spiritual life.

Consider what happens when someone asks you to do something and you answer by saying: "I don't think I want to do that; I was planning to use that time for reflection/meditation/journaling/walking/play." Isn't the usual response something like: "Can't you find another time to do that? This is important." However, when you check your datebook before you reply, the questioner understands that what is listed there is a priority. It is almost set in stone. So, if you refer to your datebook/PDA/calendar and reply, "Unfortunately, I'm not available then," the questioner will almost always respond by asking when you might have time.

Another way to use your datebook is to let people know that when you schedule time for them, you are making them a priority in your day and in your life. You are specifically setting aside quality, uninterrupted time to be with them. It is a way of honoring persons and relationships.

The key, of course, is to schedule your own priorities first. Mark down time for your five life priorities - the ones you listed earlier. Block off your times for meditation, for silence and solitude, for journaling, for exercise, for reading, for bodywork, for play, for family and friends. Be sure your personal appointments (medical, dental, therapeutic) are also listed. When you do this, you may find, as we have found, that when these core needs are met, there actually is plenty of time for everything else.

Calendar these at least two months ahead:

• Your five life priorities
• Meditation
• Silence & Solitude
• Journaling
• Reading
• Exercise
• Bodywork
• Play
• Family & Friends
• Personal Appointments (medical, etc.)

Remember: "Unfortunately, I'm not available then" is a complete sentence.

You do not owe anyone an explanation!