12 Simple Steps To Meditate For Relaxation

Recently, I gave a meditation class for people who were either new or lapsed meditators. One person meditated 20 years ago, but recently with the mounting stresses of his job, felt he needed to begin again. I teach a form of meditation I know as "spiritual exercises."

At a stressful time 30 years ago, I had explored meditation and yoga, but neither drew me. As they say, horses for courses and this mare did not get on track with either of them. Part of my problem with meditation was that I could never quiet my mind or empty it. Then I learnt about spiritual exercises. The beauty of spiritual exercises is that I direct my energy beyond the mind to lift above it. I now start each day with them.

The human spirit is like a powerful motor with its own vibration. It is not a power I can "turn on" but a loving power that I can awaken to and use. Neither is it a power over which I have control, but is a loving presence that I can safely surrender to. It never leaves me.

The human spirit vibrates to loving. Each person that I meet has this extraordinary beauty within them. Who would not want to be in touch with it?

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

These simple steps offer a form of meditation that you can incorporate easily into your daily life.

1. DO NOT DISTURB

Find as peaceful a place as you can. If you have young children at home, you might invite them to create a Do Not Disturb notice for the door of the room where you meditate. They will know that this is your time, and will leave you in peace. Turn off phones, or any other sources of distraction.

2. NO WRONG WAY

With this simple form of meditation, there are no rules for your mind to worry over. The saying I work with is that there is no wrong way to do spiritual exercises, the only wrong way is not to do them. Experiment with what works best for you. No rules to break.

"If we don't go within, we go without."

3. REGULAR TIME -- DECIDE HOW LONG

When you are beginning, it is helpful to choose a regular time day, evening or whenever is best for you. A 15 minutes session can be a good start. To be aware of the time, you might like to set an alarm, or have a watch by you.

4. COMFORT

Wear comfortable clothing; make sure you are warm enough. You need to feel relaxed and safe. You might like to have a meditation blanket to feel cosy.

5. SIT UP -- NOT LIE DOWN

If you lie down to meditate, the chances are that you may go off to sleep. Not a bad thing but you might have a better experience by sitting up in a comfortable chair, ideally with a head rest.

6. KEY WORD -- LOVE

Bring to mind an image that evokes a feeling of loving. You could have a photo of your spouse, your child -- someone who inspires your love -- or a pet animal, by you.

7. LIGHT

The powerful loving essence within us I have come to know as the Light. Light that assists us to see clearly and understand what is true for us. Light that lifts us above the heaviness we sometimes feel. Light that awakens us to joy.

At the beginning of your meditation, invoke the presence of this Light as you let go of the concerns of the day. You might just say "Light for the highest good."

8. BREATHING EXERCISE

Pay attention to your breathing. Watch your breath as it enters your body, and again as it leaves. Experiment with this technique. Breathe in to a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 4. Breathe out to a count of 4. Hold for a count of 4. Repeat this at your own rhythm. After doing the counting, you might watch your breathing, allowing yourself to breathe more deeply than perhaps you do normally. Slow deep breaths will help you to relax and let go; to become more peaceful.

9. OBSERVE

As you do the breathing, notice how you feel. You might see colours or hear sounds. You may be aware of nothing in particular. It is all just fine. If busy thoughts come to mind, watch them like clouds passing across a blue sky. You do not need to engage with them. Let them be. They will pass.

10. NOTEPAD -- JOURNAL

You may get a pressing thought, such as "pick up the dry cleaning". It is good to write those thoughts down on a notepad so they stop disturbing you. When you come out of meditation, then act on them to get them out of the way.

You may receive insights that you wish to keep. A journal is a good place to record ideas, inspirations or guidance about a project you are working on. I find that if I do not write down these ideas, I will forget them, and they are often really useful to me.

11. STRETCH

At the end of your meditation, stretch up so that once again your feet are "on the ground", and you are ready to re-engage in everyday life.

12. WATER

Drink a glass of water -- this too will assist you back into ordinary life.

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." --Confucius

I wish you every success with meditating if it is new for you. Enjoy the experience! I welcome your comments and thoughts, either below here or by email: [e-mail] You can receive notice of my blogs every Saturday by checking Become a Fan at the top. If you would like a pdf copy of these 12 Steps, please contact me :[e-mail]

Comments

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Ann!
This is a great post for me, as I have "lapsed" in my meditations for quite some time now- in fact all of the years that I have been actively mothering!- and that is quite a few.....

I like the idea of having some tricks to help quiet the mind. Mine is so filled with constant tasks or errant thoughts of something I may forget, the letting go has only come to the tune of reality tv! ha ha.

I have found walking meditations to be the most effective for me at this super charged time of life. I often will take a walk in the woods, and then find a quiet place to sit for a few moments to meditate. The effect is amazing! I always feel recharged and centered and refreshed. In fact, if I am stuck for a column idea, or if the words are not flowing, this walk into the woods often brings me fairly running home to put the pen to paper!
Thanks for the simple and engaging re-entry!
Kari

[MerhabaAbi]

Hi Anne,

I like your plan for errent thoughts, treat them like clouds and let them pass. I've been counting on breathing to distract me from the fleeting thoughts and images that like to present at different times of meditation. I think in and out when I breathe, I don't count. I have a sense of when I've been controling my breathing for calm and it works much better for me then 1, 2, 3, 4, over and over.

My favorite mantra is "I am". That simple phrase helps me focus on existing as a life force in the universe and on our planet.

With love,
little brother

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear little brother,

As I have a little brother (actually not so little these days) I wondered if you were he, but I think not!

It is wonderful that you have found a way of working with your breath that gives you good results. "I am" is an excellent mantra. What a beautiful intention you have with it.

With blessings of love and joy to you,
Anne

[Kungfublood]

As a Qi Gong master , one who has taken the Dharma as my teacher and an old hand at Rinzai Zen training, i find some of the advice above to be harmful.
Sit up and slightly tuck the chin.
Never hold your breath! ( unless you are doing a deliberate temporary exercise to correct an imbalance).
Love is extra, like a topping on good ice cream it can alter the flavor and should only be added once in a while for some people.
Where are you before love?

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Kungfublood

I really appreciate your comment - and admire the discipline you have brought to your practice. I have heard it said that there are many paths up the mountain and we get to choose the one that best serves us.

Up until now, I have never experienced any harm in the suggestions I have made.

I honour your commitment.

Joy to you,
Anne

[onelovecandy]

Great list. I like to inhale Lavender before I start. It's very calming.

Also we should not be discouraged if we can't have everything in alignment in order to meditate. I remember Wayne Dyer telling a story about meditating on a lawn while it was being mowed! Embrace the challenges that might arise.

Peace

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you, onelovecandy, for your wise comment.

Embracing the challenges that might arise is a good point I did not really make. But it is so true. When we can gain some detachment in our meditation, I think it makes it easier in everyday life not to get too caught up with noise and distraction.

Lavender too I find very soothing.

Blessings to you,
Anne

[Guitarsandmore]

I always breathe in and then exhale slowly to the count of "one".
The next breath is also exhaled to the count of "one".

I find it more relaxing then counting up because when you count up there is an expectation and a certain level of anxiety albeit a small one. I find that if I continue to count to one the anticipation is gone and I have already arrived at one and I remain at one.

Course, i usually end up falling asleep, too!

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for your comment, Guitarsandmor. It made me smile. When I "fall asleep" I sometimes wonder if I might just be on another level of consciousness. The benefits I experience are often the same.

Some things may just remain a mystery.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne

[Glamorosa]

Anne this is so informative and explains the difference between Meditaion and Spiritual Excersises. I have been doing spiritual excersises for many years and the consistency and discipline that it brings is amazing. I can use that discipline and transfer it to any other area of my life. The peaceful centre that I have found within myself never leaves me.

Thanks Anne

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you, Glamoros, very much for your comment. I too experience the peaceful centre you describe - it is always with me.

Enjoy a wonderful week!

With many blessings of loving and Light to you,
Anne

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Anne,

Warm Sunday blessings to you. I just returned from a week at the sea and have been immersed in meditation. There's no place like the ocean to help wash away all thoughts and mental activity except for gratitude. It's the best!

I love what you wrote about meditation. Clean, straightforward and simple. It doesn't have to be any more difficult than watching your thoughts float by like leaves being carried down a stream. Meditation is the glue that keep me together. It's like having dessert!

Thank you for bringing this information to your readers.

Many blessings your way,
Judith

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello Judith,

How great to hear from you - I wondered where you had been!! I missed you.

The ocean certainly has a healing balm - delighted to hear you were there. Leaves on a stream - another really good image - thank you!

Meditation is simple and natural - nothing complicated or really difficult about it. Dessert too ... mmmm!

I very much appreciate your presence here. Have a wonderful week ahead.

With many blessings of peace, joy and fun to you,
Anne

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Judith,

My first reply to you seems to have been swallowed up in the cyber ethers...

I am really appreciating your presence here and return from the ocean. I am so glad you were there, enjoying "dessert".

I love the image of leaves on a stream. Beautiful. It speaks to me of being in the flow.

Many blessings of Joy, Peace and loving to you for a wonderful week ahead,
Anne

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you, Anne.... I missed you too!

It's good to read your soothing words and feel the peaceful soul you are. You're a poster child for my next blog on Weds. 10 Ways to Live From The Soul. I'll be launching my new web site and blog, hopefully on Weds. also. It's going to be a big day!

I hope you'll pay a visit to my new site and even do some guest blogging. Your writing fits perfectly! Details to follow in my post.........

Enjoy this beautiful late spring weather!

Much Love,
Judith

[Jonahson]

Note that in step 10 whatever thoughts that made your mind jumping about will appear once you attain step 9. Step 9 is where you do not suppress your thoughts as you had done earlier but let the outflows begin. The mind always travel to the past like reminding you of something or some emotional reactions. There are the result of your inputs.
Coming out of medidation do your meditators learn to deal with their daily problems when they are subjected to their daily grind?

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Jonahson

Thank you for your comment.

Typically meditators gain objectivity and detachment towards their daily grind such that it does not weigh on them so much. When you get above problems or issues, you can often see new ways of dealing with and resolving them, such that they are no longer issues, but more like experiences to pass through.

I appreciate your raising the question.

With warm good wishes,
Anne

[Jonahson]

.
You have the concept right but this is part of the solution to a person's unhappiness.

The other part is to be aware of our input when we are awaken from the meditative state, most of the unhappiness is caused by our own ignorant input when we react to external phenomenon. The moment when we awaken we feel calm and relaxed and there is even clarity. However when we return to our own world we fall back to old habits. What you are teaching is bailing out some of the stored emotion which is great in fact it should be done everyday but then if we are not mindful of our six senses we will again gather all those states like a sinking ship with water pouring in through the six holes.

When you observe consciousness come and ago then you are actually expending the trapped emotional energy away, that is bailing out the water. If we do not plug the six holes with right mindfulness then we will always need to bail out, we will run out of energy before we can reach the other shore.

[OldSchoolLiberal]

Its easy to find meditation bell downloads at various intervals so you can have a good timer and a gentle reawakening.

I use the 15 minute one but, again you can chose your length and it is a traditional bowl bell and then silence for the duration then second bell.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

OldSchoolLiberal

Thank you very much for your comment and for giving information about the meditation bell downloads. They sound really good to me.

All best to you,
Anne

[CarolynArmour]

Thanks once again for your wisdom and the clarity which surrounds the advice you give us. So practical.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Carole,

Thank you so much for showing up here and for your kind comment! I really appreciate your thought.

Best love and blessings,
Anne

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

simple, to the point, easy to follow, basic meditation guidelines, lots of people could benefit greatly form this.

Thanks for your service!
Jason

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you Jason for showing up here again - always great to have your comment.

I hope that more will come to see the value of meditation and that special meeting with themselves.

Warm Sunday blessings to you,
Anne

[Stefanos Orfanos]

The above suggestions are all good.

But maybe a point has to be made: not to have unrealistic expectations and stress about the success or not of the experiment.

Rather, see it as a meeting with ourselves, without any assumptions, preconditions, bias, or judgement.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Stefanos Orfanos

Thank you for sharing your point, I so agree with you. Unconditional meeting with ourselves is so very valuable.

With warmest good wishes to you,
Anne

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Anne,
Another home run for Team Naylor! Each one of your suggestions are masterful ones. As a coach, I have been fascinated at watching a growing number of folks that I couldn't have imagined being interested in meditation -suddenly interested. And...loving their practices.

Aa long time meditator I find that I am always amplify the Love and Light qualities that I bring to my practice.

Blessings to You,
Eli Davidson

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Eli,

Team Naylor... what a neat idea! Thank you very much for your comment. I love that more people are finding the value in meditation.

As a coach, I too appreciate the qualities that regular meditation brings to my work.

With huge love and blessings to you,
Anne

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

The notepad and the journal are the most useful to me. The observation is that exactly when the relaxation is needed - after lengthy periods of concentration and focus - there are some unexpected ideas ready to be skimmed off. Probably those that weren't allowed during the period of focus, but somehow they tend to be growing better after a little period of almost neglect, when the focus didn't allow them to surface.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

DiogenesOfAlaska

Good to see you here, and thank you for your thoughtful comments. I love what you say about observations. That very much matches what I have found.

As with breathing in and breathing out, there is a time to focus and a time when to let go. Every aspect of our lives has value.

Blessings to you,
Anne

[wm1066]

Good suggestions, thank you Anne.
About the stretching, stretch your fingers out like your splaying your hand,or reaching with your fingers, it activates the lungs and makes you yawn which in turn will push fresh oxygen into your bloodstream.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

wm1066

Thank you for your comment. I had not heard of stretching your fingers.

Yawning certainly helps me to relax. I find that when I am at choir rehearsal I can hardly stop yawning - there seems to be something about singing and breathing deeply that helps me to switch off from the day and to relax.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne

[wm1066]

I came across that exercise from a book about hand mudras by Gertrude Hirschi.
Alot of good things in her book.