3 Keys To Higher Love And Restoring Happiness

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring." - Oscar Wilde

Last weekend, talking with the pilot of a private jet, I learned that he flies at 45,000 to 50,000 feet, higher than commercial aircraft which fly at around 38,000 feet. Apparently at the higher altitude there is less air. He can fly faster and more economically on fuel. The closer to ground you get, the more air and the "stickier" it is.

When we get high enough above any situation, with altitude we can shift our attitude and perceive the larger picture, a greater truth, than we can at ground floor level. At altitude, we touch into more of our joy and freedom. From there we can direct our lives into greater fulfillment even, and perhaps especially, during these difficult times.

"The supply of loving goes beyond anything or anyone that uses it, no matter how much is required." -John Morton

The blessing in periods of profound change is that we can re-choose our life purpose and direction, making decisions about what we really want in the future; a purpose that matches our values, and sense of value. It is a good time to dream big. If you have not already been reading Dr Judith Rich's Impossible Dream blogs, I highly recommend them.

In my experience, whenever I have had a big goal or vision, all the reasons why it cannot happen flood into me. Self-doubt city moves in and all the voices of discouragement drown my tender shoots of enthusiasm. Self-doubt is very sticky stuff. So how do I get above the din to fly high with what is important for me?

Here are ways I have found for releasing the drag factors that hold us back.

1. Clear Out Deadwood

Deadwood is all of those things from the past which are incomplete and hold you back there. Clearing deadwood not only will create the space for a better future but can improve your health and well-being at the same time.

Do you have things you have been meaning to do for ages, and have been putting off doing them? Changing a light bulb? Fixing a cupboard door? Taking clothes to the goodwill store? Try listing 10 incomplete activities. Choose 3 of them and complete them in the next 24 hours. See how you feel as a result.

Russell Bishop has written an excellent post on the subject of getting complete.

"It's a matter of loving yourself enough to clarify and clear the channel so that your success can manifest in reality, in this lifetime, for you to have, enjoy, and share." -John-Roger

2. Release Limiting Comfort Zones

If you want more of something, you need to be prepared to let go of what is less for you. Limiting habit patterns for example. Mine has been tv. I could spend hours watching mindless tv which would eventually send me to sleep.

Are there any ways you look for comfort, and deaden yourself in the process? How could you change a habit and be enjoying more of your vitality? Russell says more about Comfort Zones in this post:

"Focus on love, the divine love. It can increase circulation, increase oxygen supply, increase vitality. You can feel great. Dis-ease disappears." -John-Roger

3. Build Self-Image

In my last two posts, I have been talking about the loving it takes to forgive, especially self-forgiving. The self-doubt that shows up with an expanded vision for the future sometimes has a sense of shame woven into it.

Shame is something we bury. It says we must be a bad person. Shame will prevent us from reaching out and asking for what we need, whether those are fundamental needs like food and shelter or the support we need to achieve a lifetime aspiration.

If your sense of value has been dependent upon having a good job and certain material comforts, you may have lost sight of your intrinsic value as a human being.

"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." -Benjamin Franklin

You were born with a human spirit that is loving. The loving that you are is way beyond any value that has a number attached to it. The quality of loving I discovered through forgiving is fine, pure, gentle and heals the hardest places within us, including shame. It is that higher love to which we all have access and with which we connect with each other.

Whether you are now undergoing hardship, or working towards a large Dream, build your Self-Image on the strength of the magnificent spirit that you are. Reach up to the higher love within you.

Ask for what you need. Please know that the spirit you truly are is much greater than any challenges, fear or doubt you may be meeting.

"The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom." -Anais Nin

Are you aware of any limiting habits that might be holding you back? What have you learnt for getting through these days? How do you see the spirit in you showing up to meet challenges, or realize your Dream?

I would love to hear from you, either as a comment here or contact me at: [e-mail]

Comments

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

HI Ann!
I did not find your column until today!
This is so timely in my life. We are teaching a "Girlfriend Summit" this weekend and literally addressing all of the points you shared!
I believe the sequence you shared is a very solid and organic path to follow to begin making any sort of change.
I particularly like the part about addressing the underlying shame or fears we have to keeps us from receiving the support we need to move forward.
and Steve Winwood! One of my old favorite songs! As powerful as ever.
Thank you for weaving such practical advice with gentle reminders of Spirit
Kari

[Doorsabiertos]

Looking back on my young adult life I have realized that I have been following my dreams. This feels amazing, but there is something that is keeping me back from my true self. I am in the beginning stages of letting go something from my past so I can truly move forward. While there are many things I will still have to work on, this one seems to be the most important. Quitting smoking. And tomorrow is the day. Do I know how cliche this sounds? Yes, have I quit before? Yes. But this is the moment. Smoking keeps me tied to the past and at the same time shuttles me to the future, one thing it does not allow me is to be truly in the present. I am ready to begin life in the present. Currently this is my biggest dream and so close to the beginning of the reality of it scares me. This is the #1 deadwood in my life, a a quiet but deadly comfort zone that inhibits me from becoming the person I want to be, a healthy loving one. Which to me means loving and balancing my mind, body, and soul.
And this is why I love reading your posts Anne. Always timely and so in tuned. Could I be projecting? Maybe. But I believe that the energy we put out in the world comes back to us. Sending you love and positive energy from afar!

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Doorsabiertos,

Thank you very much for your comment. Giving up an addiction like smoking is no easy task. I love that you are committing to live more fully in the present moment. That is so wise of you.

When you commit to yourself in this way, it is not unusual for it to feel scary. In my experience, that scary energy is more of who I truly am being made available to me - as you say: for loving and balancing mind, body and soul. I think committing to yourself is a great key to living successfully in these days.

I am very happy to know that you love reading my posts. I appreciate your sending me positive energy - always welcome!

God bless you abundantly in every way.

Anne

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Sweet Anne- Caring blog- I have a dream that all people, all sentient beings will wake up to the magnificence of who we truly are and the beauty if this exquisite Universe.

To breathe in love and breathe out compassion and joy- to have fun- to sing- to dance -to love to- be free!
As Oscar Wilde (i believe) said:

If you have a romance with yourself you will have no competition.

Joyfully,

Ed

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Ed,

Won't that be wonderful when the all people wake up to the truth of who are all are. It is an awe inspiring thought.

Many the romances with ourselves be everlasting....

With love and appreciation to you,
Anne

[Russell Bishop - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks, Anne, for keeping the conversation moving forward and upward. I appreciate you and your focus on Loving. Blessings to you.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Sister Anne,

I just returned from a very long, but rich, day at the N.W. Women's Show in Seattle, where we were attending people who wish to feel better. It is was obvious, as the day wore on, who wished to remain, as Anais put it so well, to remain in the bud, and who wished to blossom. The latter were not afraid of showing warmth, not afraid of extending themselves, and, it appeared, were willing to practice getting through whatever self-imposed obstacles, to risk becoming part of something so much bigger than their self-doubt. It is funny that you mentioned 'deadwood clearing,' because this came up in three conversations. Although the world is so challenged these days, it is clear to me, from days like this, that slowly, slowly the Light is coming on again in many hearts who were silently suffering in the U.S. these past 8 years.

We have personal deadwood to clear, and planetary deadwood, too. With a Light such as yours, sweet, sweet Anne, the task seems not so daunting!

Much love your way, Anne, from this side of the pond,
Cara

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Sister Cara,

btw, I have not forgotten about your "name"... it has not yet been delivered to me.

What a marvellous gathering you have been attending. I love that the light is shining again. You know the saying: enough love heals all things. And the other one: Divine love is the most powerful chemical in the universe; it dissolves everything which is not of itself.

What you were writing about the ones who remain as tight buds, while others are able to express warmth reminded me a a pan of popcorn cooking. Maybe some of us just need a little more warmth to relax and pop open!

I had not thought about planetary deadwood - but that is so true! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I really appreciate your showing up here again. It is very warming to feel part of a group of us here on Living.

Have a brilliant week!

With love and blessings from this side of the pond,
Anne

[freewayofluv]

Great article! Thanks!

Hi, I joined Toastmasters 2 years ago to get out of my comfort zone. I entered a speech contest yesterday and came in 2nd place! It has been a gift being able to share what I have been thinking and found a way to deal with my fear of speaking head on. I am winning! The fear is running away this time. Just like the when I was little, I get to be totally pleased with myself and let go off the programming of having my worth tied into my income. Growing up my fathers priority was making money. He raised me to be like him, until I became a massage therapist 19 years ago. Today,I not only relieve people's pain but also make a strong human connection that does us both good! What a blessing to need/knead people.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Deaer freewayofluv,

Thank you very much for your post and congratulations on getting beyond your comfort zone with public speaking. That is one of the greatest fears people have - of being in front of a group and talking.

I love what you say about taking your life into your own hands and honouring your own priorities. What a wonderful winner you are!

In my experience, making a strong connection with another person just makes my life worthwhile. The best massage therapists I have had are those who not only have a good technique but they communicate something of their presence through their hands. That it so very healing.

You certainly have a great blessing in your vocation.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for this powerful post, Anne,

It seems that we come to this moment in our collective experience where we're challenged to either rise above our circumstances or be sucked into the quagmire of them. Which way we go is our choice.

With all due respect to your reader, ozamerican, the fact that we're Americans living in the age of greed and corruption has nothing to do with how we choose to live our lives. The young people I blogged about this week from the Village Academy High School in Pomona, CA. do not think of themselves as "innocent victims", even though their circumstances are dire. They've empowered themselves to take their lives in their own hands and create something different out of what they've been handed.

Each of us has that power. Life hands us circumstances, but we're the ones who choose what to make of them. And being connected to a dream that calls us forth, that challenges us to grow beyond our limiting beliefs is the very gift of these times.

I think we'll look back on this age as the time when we finally grew up, got real, dug deep and discovered our authentic greatness. They don't call our elders the Greatest Generation for nothing. Their characters were forged and shaped by the Great Depression and WWII. They grew through the difficult challenges they faced and didn't use them as an excuse. We'd be well served to follow their example.

Thanks and Blessings,
Judith

[jillsond]

Wonderful post. I totally agree. I think all this talk of Mayan calendar and the end of days in 2012 can easily be interpreted as the end of the victim/fear age and the birth of a higher/collective consciousness among a great majority of people on our planet. It's a very exciting time to be alive.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear jillsond

Thank you very much for your comment. I had not seen the talk of the Mayan calendar iin this way. You have a wonderful interpretation!

I agree with you that we are living at a very exciting time. I feel it to be a blessing that I can be part of it.

With love,
Anne

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Judith,

Thank you for showing up and for your great comment - much appreciated as always!

The young people in your post last week were truly inspiring. I feel that there are many like that who are rising to the occasion with their spirit, care, concern and action.

I love the story about the young frog who falls into a bucket of cream and keeps kicking until he makes butter and can hop out. When we can cooperate with our conditions and create something new from them, we show ourselves how we master our circumstances and cease to be victims of them.

We are definitely singing from the same song sheet when it comes to our dreams challenging us to grow beyond our limitations. These times are a tremendous gift if we are willing to receive it.

I have huge respect for the American people and their capacity for picking up and recovering from all kinds of challenges. You have the most wonderful heritage. I am excited to watch for all the good that is going to be showing up over the coming months and years.

With love and blessings to you, and gratitude for your inspiring voice on these pages,
Anne

[Arithrianos]

i only have one big dream, and that is that all beings will finally realize who they have always been, which is divine unlimited love. In working with this dream i have nothing to do but cultivate divine love in my own heart and mind, it has nothing to do with manipulating the world outside. Of course that is only one appraoch, there are multiple paths for multiple types, but the instructions i have recieved are very simple, manifest and radiate unconditional love, and fake it until you make it. That is my dream and it cannot be stopped, because it includes the faking it part, and how can you fail to fake it?

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Arithrianos,

Thank you for your inspiring and heartfelt comment. I really appreciate what you are saying here and the magnificence of your dream.

Just keep faking it until you make it. What a beautiful world you are living in - by which I mean your inner world. That's where your dream starts and it is within your heart and hands.

God bless you abundantly in every way!

With love,
Anne

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks so much for this heartfelt reminder, particularly, about releasing the past. I know for me that as I release more and more of the past I am so free to simply reside in full love and presence with myself and others. Powerful stuff!

Blessings!
Jason

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello Jason,

Great to see you here again - thank you very much for your comment and insight.

I love that we can release the past and soar into the blessings of who we truly are. I think the power that we each are goes way beyond anything we can ever measure. To live in that full love and presence has to be the best way to be, to make the most of our lives.

With love to you,
Anne

[Glamorosa]

I liked the quotes by John-Roger and John Morton. Love seems to be the opening door, and the
more we can observe our situations we can bring in the "LOVE FACTOR". It brings an empathy and allows me to move higher.

I was dancing to the video.

Thanks Annie x

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Glamorosa

Thank you very much for your comment and your insights. I heard the song in a store earlier this week and it had me dancing there!

Love and blessings to you,
Annie

[Landgeek]

Another great post as always Anne. You are so insightful and give me so much to think about.
I am well aware that my number one limiting habit is my own self doubt. My past mistakes make me question taking risks in situations now, something that I know limit possibilities, however some of the mistakes have been doozies and it has taken me YEARS to recover from them. It is something I struggle with since I am aware of this habit. I do not want to live a life guided by fear of messing up, but given that in the past my family and friends have been so hard on me when I have made mistakes I try to be very careful and very deliberate in almost every action I take. How exhausting it is.
However, I have made some enormous strides in the last few months of shedding some old guilt I have been carrying for years! It has been incredibly empowering and freeing and I am finding that forgiving myself for the guilt arising from certain situations (divorce, breaking up my family, getting into an abusive relationship, etc.) is very healing. I still have a long way to go in forgiving OTHER people, but I figure it's a good start if I begin with myself. Now I have to tackle my self doubt and self image...one step at a time.
Thanks again for your posts, they are so worthwhile!

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Landgeek

Great to hear from you again.

It sounds like you are on a courageous journey towards claiming a better life for yourself. This is wonderful - well done! Small steps cautiously taken are a really good way to go from my point of view. Then what is the worst that can happen if you make a mistake? You can forgive it and yourself, learn from it, let it go and move on. Nothing need every be lost.

However hard anyone else is on you, you can nevertheless be very kind and compassionate towards yourself. The relationship with yourself is the most important one in my experience. It forms the foundation for your relationship with everyone else,

I really appreciate your comment. Keep up the great work.

With love and blessings,
Anne

[ozamerican]

Uhm... what limiting habits are holding me back? How about being an American in an age of greed and corruption? Ever hear of "innocent victim"? If not, then rethink and revise.

[SangZe]

There is no love left in the U.S. Our politicians have seen to that. What a hopeless and sad country this has become.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear SangZe

I can understand what you say about the US having become hopeless and sad. It is as though a dream has been crushed and expectations have been dashed and washed away.

My sense is that disappointments will in time fade and in their place a greater America than has been known so far will be emerging. This is a vision I hold, not only for America but the world as a whole.

There are many people of goodwill who are dedicating their lives to re-building a better future for children, globally. In time, we shall be seeing the results of their efforts.

Thank you very much for your comment.
Anne

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

ozamerican

Thank you for your comment. I totally understand about being an "innocent victim" - but I don't think it is limited to America. The meltdown is global and a lot of us everywhere are feeling very disoriented.

My own view is that it is a wake up call and whatever may be going on in the world around me need not stop me going for what I really want to have happen in my life. I prefer to entertain the notion of victor over victim as much as I can.

I appreciate your thoughts.
Anne