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Anne Naylor

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5 Keys For Getting A Good Night's Sleep

Posted: 10/17/09 08:47 AM ET

"You'll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart."
George Michael

There seems to be a pandemic of insomnia, which is not surprising given the stresses of this time. The good news about this bad news is that time and creativity has been invested in finding solutions. The internet offers a wealth of natural sleep remedies.

However, good sleep has to be important enough for you to find the solution that will work for you, other than medication. Sleeplessness can be miserable and debilitating. This post is written from the heart, and through overcoming my own recent experiences with insomnia. I realized I had to do more than apply techniques, good as they are. I had to look at the larger picture for my result.

Here are some keys I hope may help you to get on track with sleeping well if this is an issue for you, or for someone close to you.


1. INTENTION

Clear intention is a quality of the human spirit. I call it one of the "heart senses". Sometimes, you have to get really sick and tired of being tired and sick before intention steps in and you resolve to deal with the issue. Even if your insomnia seems incurable, the wisdom within you will find a way. Not necessarily overnight, but with patience and persistence, step by step, you can do it.

True intention is unshakable. It goes deeper than "belief" and has a quality of knowing: This I can do, and I am doing it.

"A good intention clothes itself with power."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


2. POSITIVE FOCUS

With a positive focus, you keep taking action towards getting good sleep, and disregard discouragement when it shows up. Listen to people who have overcome insomnia, not those who say it is impossible.

Be as curious as an infant discovering their world for the first time. You may not have what you need immediately, but keep going and you will find it.

Experiment and track your results. If one method does not work, forget it. Go on to the next one. You can be quite scientific about it. Each person has different needs for sleep. Find out what yours are so that you know what you are going for. Discover what works best for you.


3. RECONCILE THE ISSUES...
.... that are keeping you awake

Sleeplessness can be viewed literally as a "wake-up call". Wake up to what? Any kind of mental or emotional disturbance gets your attention. It can also in my experience lead you to discovering more of your strengths and qualities, wisdom and understanding. You may wake up to the greater part of you that remains peaceful, while the world around you is in turmoil.

Talk to a wise friend, or a counsellor, who can assist you to resolve and release the concerns that are keeping you awake.

Find peace of mind in your waking hours. Accept yourself just as you are. Think about how: you can accept the things you cannot change; find the courage to change the things you can; and have the wisdom to know the difference.

"Human beings are of such nature that they should not have only
material facilities but spiritual sustenance as well.
Without spiritual sustenance, it is difficult to get and maintain peace of mind."

HH the Dalai Lama


4. LET GO

Are you trying to do too much? Is your life cluttered? Do you feel overwhelmed? Are you trying to control the uncontrollable - your teenager, the economy, poverty in Africa, the war in Afghanistan, your mother-in-law?

How could you simplify your life? Are there projects you have in mind, but you are not doing anything about them? Let them go.

Is your home or office cluttered with "stuff" - professional journals you will never read; clothes you will never wear; ornaments or pictures you do not really like? Keep what is essential and directly meaningful for you, and let the rest go.

The joy of sleeping well is that of letting go of the day, knowing you have done the best you can. Many of life's problems can be solved through a good night's sleep and waking up fresh in the morning to see things in a new light.

If you did not see Ed and Deb's blog on Mini Meditations, you might find them helpful in allowing yourself to let go, whether during the day or at night.


5. LOVE YOURSELF

"The sanctuary of the heart is the location of peace.
You move into the spiritual heart to discover peace."

John-Roger

Loving yourself really comes first because it underpins the willingness to take good care of your needs. However, you may be someone who prefers to take care of everyone else first. This may work fine for a while, but sooner or later, your batteries will need re-charging.

I have heard it said that loving ourselves is the final frontier. How could you love yourself better? Could you be more forgiving, understanding, kind and patient when you are less than your best? The more you love yourself, the better you become at loving others - through your empathy and compassion for the human condition of which we are all a part.

We are creatures of habit and through loving ourselves, we can upgrade our habits. If insomnia has been a prolonged habit for you, then your challenge is to create a new pattern of sleeping well. I encourage you to love yourself to do what it takes to find what works for you and to experience the peace and serenity of a really good night's sleep.


This short video evokes The Angel of Rest:


If there is anything I may be able to do to assist you, please get in touch. Have you found good ways to overcome insomnia? How do you ensure a good night's sleep?

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at clearresults@mac.com. Please retweet or pass to friends who may benefit from this post.
For updates on The New Wealth Book, click here: The New Wealth Book blog

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"You'll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart." George Michael There seems to be a pandemic of insomnia, which is not surprising given the stresses of this time. The good news about...
"You'll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart." George Michael There seems to be a pandemic of insomnia, which is not surprising given the stresses of this time. The good news about...
 
 
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12:36 PM on 10/27/2009
Something that has worked for me and might work for others, is sound therapy. my partner Snores like a walrus and earplugs annoy me because i can here myself breathe. So I decided to give sound therapeutics a shot; i purchased a few audio files from Prescription Audio and listen to them on my ipod when i sleep. it helps to drown out the walrus and allows me to relax enough to get a good nights rest. If others are searching for new techniques i suggest trying sound therapeutics.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
02:13 AM on 10/29/2009
Dear Chris,

Thank you very much for your suggestion. I shall pass this on to a client I was working with recently on her problems sleeping with a noisy partner.

With appreciation and warmest good wishes to you,
Anne
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Ametista
Biologist and unrepentant leftist
10:52 PM on 10/19/2009
What if your other half snores like a dying elephant? Last night my husband woke me up three times before it was even midnight! I never got back to sleep and survived off the two hours or so of sleep I manage before midnight. I can't wear earplugs because I have to be able to hear my kids. Is it ok to just have my own room? I mean why not?
07:55 PM on 10/19/2009
It's simple: People who can't sleep need exercise.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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08:03 AM on 10/19/2009
For your partner to let you sleep. That helps.
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Eli Davidson
Award Winning Small BusinessReinvention Expert
02:48 AM on 10/19/2009
Ahhh Dearest Anne,
What a blessing to have this incredible post. I have been traveling and it was such a treat to have the blessing of your post.

I am going to sleep now and I am sure that the beautiful video with John Morton giving us the precious presence of the Angel of Rest will help me have a better sleep..

Your Fan,
Eli Davidson
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
03:51 PM on 10/19/2009
Hello Dearest Eli,

So good to see you here and thank you, Dearest Friend!

I hope you enjoyed a very happy sleep and wake refreshed and restored.

Best love and blessings to you,
Anne
01:35 PM on 10/18/2009
As someone who has done an overnight sleep study and is constantly looking for ways to better improve my sleep, I really appreciated your article, Anne. Even if we may have a physical reason for not sleeping as deeply or long as we would like, we can almost always at least improve our sleep. I got a sleep mask because unless a room is really dark, I tend to wake up. There's something called a Sleepmaster sleep mask that is very comfortable, wraps gently around the head so it even lightly reduces noise. I also spray a lavender mist around the room before I'm ready to sleep and put on a sleep or relaxation cd. I don't like to watch movies before I sleep, but have found if I have a very comforting, soothing dvd that I'm not too engrossed in, often that will help me get really drowsy! And if it's a happy, uplifting, fantasy type story, it can even help my dream state (better than watching scary thrillers or sci fi before nodding off!). Oh, and I can't eat hours before I go to bed, but have noticed if my stomach is growling a little, just a teaspoon of honey or agave nectar takes the edge off, doesn't bother my stomach because it's nothing heavy and helps curb any late night eating.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:45 AM on 10/19/2009
Hello timezone,

Thank you so much for contributing how you continue to find ways to improve your sleep. I love how you are taking such good care of yourself. The tenderness you illustrate here makes me think of how we gently take care of a young infant. Why not give ourselves the same loving attention?

I appreciate the time you have taken to share your comment.

With love and blessings,
Anne
01:54 PM on 10/24/2009
Thank you for your very kind comments, Anne. I think one must be kind to oneself in order to fully give of themselves to others. If we don't care of ourselves, and give all our attention to others, it would be easy to feel a little irked if others didn't then take care of US! I think kindness and thoughtfulness grows the more you dole it out and there's plenty for everyone, including ourselves.
11:11 AM on 10/18/2009
Routine is very important. I recently read a report on natural sleep remedies that I found very helpful. Good science and very helpful. The link is here for anybody interested.

http://www.prlog.org/10370276-two-clinical-studies-discover-natural-sleep-sedative-more-powerful-than-drugs.html
11:35 AM on 10/18/2009
Thank you for the link. I visited the site of the teashop which is recommended in the article and it is really worth it!
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:07 PM on 10/18/2009
Dear bmonaghan

Thank you very much for your great suggestion. The link is really useful. I appreciate your taking the time t share it here.

With warmest good wishes,
Anne
10:53 AM on 10/18/2009
Hi Anne,

Nowadays I have few and infrequent sleepless nights. I've had to establish an in bed by time, 10:30 p.m. and stick to it. It took a while but combined with a get out of bed by time, 08:30 a.m. I am usually able to fall asleep within 1/2 an hour of intending to sleep. My life has also become much less stressful and I think that helps enormously as well. Maybe my success comes from the habit of bedtime or the release of pressure or something else but I'm not planning to change this particular routine. By the way 08:30 a.m. is for non-work days and I usually don't get to that point anyhow.

Warmest regards,
little brother
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:03 PM on 10/18/2009
Hi little brother,

What a joy to see you here! I am very happy to hear that you have found a sleeping routine that works for you.

May you have many more nights of excellent sleep.

With warmest good wishes to you,
Anne
12:51 PM on 10/18/2009
HI

I just noticed that the same couple is in the photo accompanying your story that are in the photo with the Slow Sex Revolution article. Is there a connection

little brother
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KristinNoelle
01:56 AM on 10/18/2009
I don't really get the whole insomnia thing. If you can't sleep maybe you just aren't tired. Why not just go do something until you are?
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:01 PM on 10/18/2009
Dear KristinNoelle

I appreciate your comment.

I too did not get the whole insomnia thing until my divorce which triggered menopause and my sleep patterns went way off.

I am grateful I have found ways to now ensure sleeping well, or being peaceful when that does not happen.

Continued sweet dreams to you!
Anne
11:21 PM on 10/17/2009
The author of this article should read Barbara Ehrenreich's new book. Positive thinking has never worked for me.
I prefer Ambien and a martini.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:55 AM on 10/18/2009
Dear Cannae

Whatever works best for you! I appreciate your comment - I am sure you are not alone in your point of view.

Joy and blessings to you,
Anne
09:55 PM on 10/17/2009
LOVE this collection of suggestions, Anne. Nine times out of ten, articles on insomnia repeat the same advice -- don't drink caffeine close to bedtime, don't watch tv, etc.

But you've actually provided some innovative, useful tools. Much appreciated!

Peace and blessings to you!
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:53 AM on 10/18/2009
Dear moneypenny

Thank you very much for commenting.

With most issues, I aim to look at what I call "the larger picture" to get ideas and resolutions. From there, I get a connection with the heart of the matter for me, and fresh insights about how to address it.

The usual advice I find still has a value but I like to choose from it what is most relevant for me. Otherwise, I read it as an overwhelming list which does not help me to be any more peaceful!

Best love and blessings to you,
Anne
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
02:42 PM on 10/17/2009
Dear Anne,

Insomnia was never something I experienced, or, nearly never, before post-menopause. Now I know what people are talking about! So, I love your tips and the video. Actually, I've used all sorts of meditations, like last night, for instance, when I could not sleep. What I'd like to share is another perspective. As a side-bar, it goes without saying that the feeling of 'oh no, I'm still not asleep and it's nearly time to get up" is a real pain in the you-know-what, not to mention the fact that it has a way of really pulling us off center.

So, here's the other side of the ledger: according to many ancient traditions, one of which my maternal line is a part, it turns out that the spiritual journey for the Feminine is thought not to start until post-menopause! So, from this context, sleeplessness just may be our ancestral Spirit speaking, attempting to awaken us to an unfolding Calling. This is what happened for me last night: a new awareness of 'where-to-from-here.' Stay tuned.

Much love and appreciation,
Cara
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:47 AM on 10/18/2009
Dear Cara,

It is always a treat to have you come by. Thank you!

I very much resonate with the other side of your ledger. The spiritual journey as it unfolds is one of the great mysteries, and thrilling adventures in my experience.

I am tuned.... and looking forward to hearing more from you! Please keep me posted.

Best love and blessings to you all ways, always,
Anne
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Nathaliefranks
01:11 PM on 10/17/2009
Recently I have been listening to John-Roger's tape dying each day from the Spiritual Warrior tape package. The guided mediation allows me to let go of any issues, thoughts, feelings and transmutes them. I do not think I have ever consciously listened to the whole tape as I fall asleep rapidly listening to this man's peaceful voice.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:42 AM on 10/18/2009
Thank you so much for reminding me. I too have found that meditation wonderful for slipping peacefully into sleep.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
12:06 PM on 10/17/2009
Hi Anne,

I teach a technique I learned at the Bihar School of Yoga in India many years ago called

Yoga Nidra or Inner Conscious Relaxation ICR .. I also have a CD that my students use

This technique relaxes the subconscious and unconcious mind where all the tension and stress accumulates. One seesion of ICR = 4 hours of sleep.

When you are at ease sleep comes naturally. You can find out about my CD on our website

www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Namaste,

Ed (Paramahamsa Swami Brahmananda)
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:02 PM on 10/17/2009
HI Ed,

Brilliant input - thank you so much and for the suggestion of your CD.

The being at ease makes so much sense to me. I hope that others who come by here will benefit from the CD and Inner Conscious Relaxation.

You are always a delight!

Love, joy and Peace to you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
02:12 PM on 10/17/2009
Anne - You make people feel good

You are a BLESSING!
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Dr. Judith Rich
Because life's too short to wear tight shoes.
11:47 AM on 10/17/2009
Hi Anne,

I've had insomnia for over 20 years. Haven't slept more than 5 hours/night, and not necessarily consecutive ones, in that long. It's been a real problem and for years I used a sleeping pill just even to get that much sleep.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my oncologist helped me get off the sleeping pills by gradually lowering the amount over a four month period of time, while putting me on 60 mg. of melatonin/night. Most people who use melatonin only need 1-3 mg. It takes 60 mg. for me and I still don't sleep well.

One thing that does help somewhat and I'd recommend this for others: I've worn soft, putty-like ear plugs for the past 15 years when I sleep. It creates a kind of echo chamber with the heart beat and helps me fall asleep. I just have trouble staying asleep.

I am grateful though, to be off the sleeping pills completely now.

Fortunately, I still have a lot of energy during the day, so I guess I just don't require more than 5 hours.

Thanks for the great advice you've offered here.

Love and blessings,
Judith
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
12:23 PM on 10/17/2009
Hi Judith - I would be happy to send you my CD-

It is great for insomnia

it has helped thousands of people.

Ed
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:58 PM on 10/17/2009
Hello Judith,

Thank you very much for dropping by here. From what I understand, amount of sleep is varies very much from one person to another. There are those who apparently only need 4 hours.

Your "lack" of it certainly does not impair anything you write here! I am very happy you are able to be off the sleeping pills now.

That is a great suggestion to use ear plugs. I searched for some the other night when some young people were playing a didgeridoo (Australian musical pipe) on the beach below in the wee small hours!

The friend with whom I counselled suggested that I accept being awake when it happened. That when the body really needs to sleep it will. This spoke to me a lot about being relaxed and trusting. A frame of mind that is good for day or night.

As always, I so appreciate your thoughtful words.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne