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Finding Trust In An Unknown Future

Posted: 09/11/10 10:00 AM ET

Who can trust the future these days? The leaders and institutions we thought we could trust prove untrustworthy. As creatures of habit, we feel safe and secure when we know what is ahead and can plan accordingly. For the most part, the future is unknown to us. The world looks like a scary place.

You may be going through a personal crisis or turning point: job loss, a relationship breakdown, relocation, a health challenge, last child going to college and an empty nest, the death of a close loved one.

Your life as a journey is not mapped out for you from start to finish. Actually, it might be boring if it were. Last weekend, I was officiating a wedding ceremony at a location new to me about an hour's drive from home. Or so I thought.

On the way, I turned off the autoroute too early and drove what I thought was in the right direction. I got hopelessly lost and found myself watching the minutes tick by on the clock as I sped along winding mountain roads, a long way from my destination. I am an on-time person. I do not like being late.

I called my briefest prayer: "Help, God!" A few minutes later, I arrived at a junction and was looking at my options, three possible roads ahead. A car drew up alongside me. The driver indicated to lower my window. Was I lost? Did I need any help? This dear person told me which road to go, how long it would take for me to reach my destination and how far it was away. All the information I needed. I arrived in plenty of time. Had I been wearing a sign over the car saying: Lost -- Help Wanted?

Have you ever called out for help, and have it arrive in the nick of time? Whether or not you believe in a God, there are certainly loving people around you who are looking out for you. You may yet become aware of them. You may be one of them for someone else.

'Shutterbabe,' in a thread of response to my last article "How Does Love Win?" offered this poem by Hafiz, Sufi poet of Persia, written in the 1300s:

"It Felt Love"

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart

And give to this world
All its
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,

Otherwise,
We all remain
Too
Frightened.

She also wrote:

Everything in life can be a mystery. Amid the shadows you have to move with confidence, knowing that dawn always comes.


In my Now, there is love in every aspect of my world. It is dimensional, childlike, as mad as the moon beautiful, a secret language that is understood and echoed back. You can live as a fugitive or reach out with delicate arms. Once you learn that you can trust the night and believe in yourself, you can let down your celestial hair and find those Heavens.

Paradoxically perhaps, these are the times you can awaken to a greater sense of trust than you have ever known before. Why? And how? Because you may not be able to trust in the same way in the world around you. You can learn to develop an inner sense of trust that will last your lifetime. Life simply is not mapped out the way it used to be. Your journey may embrace more serendipity, more chance, maybe even more fortune -- however you define that.

The absence of trust produces fear and uncertainty. Relating to life events with fear and uncertainty conditions or shadows you from the goodness of possibilities or opportunities available to you. It is like going three steps back to take one forward. However overwhelming the doubt and concern you may have, the spirit within you is greater. And it is that spirit you can trust. Again, how?

Consider these steps for awakening an inner sense of trust:

1. Meditate, Contemplate, Reflect
Get into the habit of regularly (even five minutes a day to start) to get in touch with the spirit within you. Deep breathing, closing your eyes, observing your thoughts and feelings, letting the day go. This Guided Visualization may assist you.

2. Intention for Trust
Intention has a knowing, clarity or feeling quality to it. With trust comes the faith and confidence in things working out well for you. You may have a sense of your feet being firmly on the ground and even if you do not see the detailed journey ahead of you, you know the next step you are to take.

A while ago, a writer friend shared with me a serious of sayings she used at a critical point in her career. She would repeat them as she want out for her morning walks:

"I am trusting and patient
I am calm
I understand that everything is working out perfectly
I have faith"

She has since become a very successful novelist.

3. Incorporate a Trust Builder
This one is simple, though not always easy. Only agree to do those things that you fully intend to complete. And then complete them. Learn to say "No" when you do not want to take on a certain project or commitment. Completing commitments and agreements creates a healthy self-esteem and a solid foundation of self-belief.

4. Act in Faith With Confidence
Trust develops as you take action and move forward with what you wish to accomplish. If you make what appears to be a mistake, it was there for you to learn something. Love yourself in the process. Ultimately, there are no mistakes, except perhaps not even making an attempt.

5. And if You Get Stuck...
... then ask for help, one way or another. Call a friend. Take a moment to go within and ask inwardly for clarity. Relax and be patient. Look to your night dreams for guidance. Take a brisk walk, or dance. Physical movement can liberate a new insight. There are many ways we can give and receive "encouragement of light."

6. Stay open
When you dwell in doubt, mistrust or worry, your health, your creativity, your joy shuts down. As I drove to the wedding ceremony, I also repeated to myself I have plenty of time, which took the some pressure off and enabled me to relax, even though I was not entirely sure that I did have plenty of time.

Open your heart and give to this world all your beauty.

Whatever you read about or hear that seems horrific and shattering, please know that there is also a great wealth and abundance of goodness in people, and in our world. Trust me!

How do you find trust in an uncertain world? What do you do to restore your faith and confidence for positive outcomes in a challenging situation? How do you receive the 'encouragement of light' when you need it? I would love to hear from you! Your comments and wisdom are warmly welcomed.

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at anne@annenaylor.com

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Who can trust the future these days? The leaders and institutions we thought we could trust prove untrustworthy. As creatures of habit, we feel safe and secure when we know what is ahead and can plan...
Who can trust the future these days? The leaders and institutions we thought we could trust prove untrustworthy. As creatures of habit, we feel safe and secure when we know what is ahead and can plan...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
05:38 PM on 09/13/2010
Great question, Anne! What do I do to restore trust and faith? I remember that if I'm feeling 'off,' it is because I've fallen out of Life's Flow. My job, then, without striving, is to breathe in, breathe out, and know that in the present moment, not only is all transient, but there is a blessing even in the caca. This has served me all my life, even in army nursing during the Viet Nam conflict. It works. It helps me 'study war no more,' as the songwriter put it, and find that 'peace' which passes all understanding.

Calling out for help, as you did, is always answered. Even if what we are unconciously calling for is not in our own best interest. Good for you! I'll bet the couple was mighty happy when you showed up! Lucky them.

Love,
Cara
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:59 AM on 09/14/2010
Dearest Cara,

So good to see you here once again! The wedding when I got to it was such a tremendous joy and a blessing for me.

I bet you have had a few occasions in your full life to deepen and strengthen your trust and faith. Difficult times can be so enriching in that way.

Ah, now you mention it, the "peace which passes all understanding" touches on my theme for this week....

Huge love and blessings and appreciation to you,
Anne

PS How is your footsie doing?
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Paul Hunting
05:14 AM on 09/13/2010
Thanks, Annie. Your words came just in the nick of time. (Who was he, anyway?)
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
08:45 AM on 09/13/2010
Great to see you here, Paul. Thanks for dropping by.

Nick of Time, also known as St Nick is a master of time as you could imagine, delivering toys and gifts to so many homes on one evening. I always wondered how he ever does it.

I am happy to hear that my words were timely!

Blessings,
Anne
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Arithrianos
reality has already (w)on(e), surrender!
10:15 AM on 09/13/2010
the blessings of toys were there all along, old st nick just gives an excuse to open them (at long last), there is nothing to deliver.
10:45 PM on 09/12/2010
I'm currently going through a turning point in my life where I'm asking myself questions such as 'is this where I thought I'd be at this point in my life'? The answers aren't what I wanted and I'm finding myself more and more uncertain of the future. I think this article will help me start taking baby steps in trusting but boy, it's gonna be a long road! Thanks for the article...just the mere awareness that others are in similar situations somewhat lightens my load.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
08:43 AM on 09/13/2010
Thank you for commenting, TheMacIsCrazy. In my experience, baby steps are best until a momentum builds and then things can move more quickly. Patience can really be a virtue in going through a turning point.

With warmest good wishes to you as things unfold,
Anne
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
feyangel
10:36 AM on 09/12/2010
Lovely article-- and timely. "Open your heart and give to this world all your beauty." You certainly do. luvluv
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:49 PM on 09/12/2010
Thank you, feyanglel, for your kind words. So good to see you here again.

Best love to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:33 AM on 09/12/2010
Hi Anne - you ask:

How do you find trust in an uncertain world? Life is a mystery unfolding. There are no guarantees!
Not knowing what will happen next is life - the way to be is LOVE - each moment is a gift. There is only love. There is nothing solid - there is no you or me. There is only love.

What do you do to restore your faith and confidence for positive outcomes in a challenging situation? I don't know about positive outcomes - that is living in hope -

I meditate daily and just be. :-)

Life is an adventure - dive in-

ED
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:48 PM on 09/12/2010
Joyous Ed

So good to find you here! It is so great how life truly is a mystery unfolding. Love always, all ways.

I get the beingess of meditating and allowing. And diving in to life and the adventure it assures us. Yes! A seagull atop a nearby lamp post has just squawked its truth on that notion!

Warm Light and huge love to you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
11:04 PM on 09/12/2010
Dear Anne - u r a sheer delight- so happy u r u :-)
04:28 PM on 09/12/2010
Hey, you are spot on. Again. The interesting thing about,"Not knowing what will happen next.." being life is, life is what happens to you while you are making other plans. Precisely why now is such a gift.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
11:02 PM on 09/12/2010
yup! :-)
06:41 AM on 09/12/2010
We seem to live in a world that is always moving, driving, pushing, striving. A world of deadlines. Have you completed the project yet? How are you progressing toward your promotion? How much money can you make by month-end?

In our relationships there is often a pressure to be more loving, more understanding, more giving. Sometimes we feel the need to keep improving spiritually and emotionally too. The New Age mantra seems to be 'growth, growth!' - keep bettering yourself, keep improving.

When will it end? When can we take a step back, slow it all down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment? Is this really how we are supposed to live our lives?

http://blog.soul-therapy.com/2010/09/celebration-of-what-is.html

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Soul-Therapy/278635488830

http://www.soul-therapy.com/
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:43 PM on 09/12/2010
Beautiful, thank you! Living from soul awareness and soul consciousness makes a lot of sense to me.

Blessings to you,
Anne
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SurreyTaiChi
Tai Chi instructor,Management Consultant, Investor
02:31 AM on 09/12/2010
Extremely well put
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:40 PM on 09/12/2010
Thank you!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Kari Henley
Make a Wish- now make it bigger.
09:17 PM on 09/11/2010
Lovely Anne!
I also have angels on my shoulder when lost, and to this day refuse to use a gps! I have profound "Faith" that I am able to read signs and find my way,and I also have faith that if I do get lost, I can always find some nice soul to help me!
I have found holding infinite trust in the Universe to be of great comfort, even though others call is naiive or even "pollyanna!"
In this difficult time of arguing over putting a mosque at ground zero, the issue arises again in infinite complexity.
Thanks for your consistent gifts!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:39 PM on 09/12/2010
Delightful Kari,

Great to see you. I love your guiding angels.

Your infinite trust in the Universe works so well for you - maybe others can learn from you in time.

Sometimes, these arguments are way beyond my capacity to comment or know what is best. I wish for a loving solution to be made known and understood. This takes wise leadership, I think.

With much love to you,
Anne
05:33 PM on 09/11/2010
Anne, all are very useful points that I use in some way or another.

Trust is not the problem as much as the vulnerability that comes with trusting. I find trust by accepting, honoring and appreciating my presence in connection to my surroundings.

My faith and confidence are part of knowing, what is, is good enough and what’s to come is what is now.

I receive encouragement of light when I am still and when I let go of the self. The light comes with connection to the higher source of my being and His suffering that allows me to have life.
Dharma kate
Monty Python wrote my bio.
09:12 PM on 09/11/2010
Agreed... becoming comfortable in vulnerability was one of my hardest issues ..one I work with almost daily it seems.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:32 PM on 09/12/2010
HI J & C

So good to see you here - thank you!

This is exquisite
"I receive encouragement of light when I am still and when I let go of the self. The light comes with connection to the higher source of my being and His suffering that allows me to have life."

I find with vulnerability comes also the openness to be blessed. It feels scary to start off with, but then has a sweet energy with it.

With love and appreciation,
Anne
Dharma kate
Monty Python wrote my bio.
03:38 PM on 09/11/2010
One of the things I've learned is that the "future" doesn't exist except in my mind. It's a mental fantasy of what I think, hope and fear MIGHT happen and/or what I desire and believe SHOULD happen. In the end, it's just a fantasy, an illusion. Okay, admittedly, it sounds all so bloody simple when it's written out like that. Remembering it when I'm in the full freak-out -- mmmmmmm, not so easy.

What I can do about the "future", whatever that is, is attend fully to the present moment. My actions now will inform what shape the "future" will take. That line from the Book of Hosea comes to mind frequently: They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind. If I sow the seeds of kindness, compassion, tolerance and justice, that is my whirlwind. If I chose to sow the seeds of hatred, impatience, fear, greed and grasping, that will be my whirlwind.

On this 9th anniversary of the unprovoked attack on America, I find it particularly important to remind myself of these basic truths.

For me, the way to keep myself focused on these basic truths has been yoga, not just the postural practices but the whole enchilada. 250 words here doesn't give enough room to explain, so I reluctantly attach the link to other things I've written on that topic. http://wp.me/pgAqC-4y
05:45 PM on 09/11/2010
DK, you are on the right path. I had to fan you for always casting great energy in your messages.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:29 PM on 09/12/2010
Dear Dharma kate

Great to see you again! I so know what you mean about things being easy to know about and something else in mid full freak out... !

I love your whirlwind. What terrific imagery!

Thank you for the link and the full enchilada. Much appreciated together, with your presence here.

With love,
Anne
03:30 PM on 09/11/2010
Nice article, thank you. For me lack of trust manifests as anxiety. I practice bringing myself into the Now, becoming mindful of how my thoughts are creating my feelings, I ask myself if there's anything I can do about it (any action), if there is not, then I change my thoughts to more encouraging ones. It's a cognitive behavioral therapy technique and it has gotten me out of many episodes of negativity and fear. Also, another way I think about it is when anxious, the needed medicine is courage. So I build my muscle of courage by taking small risks and actions that empower me. Thanks for the article!
Dharma kate
Monty Python wrote my bio.
03:40 PM on 09/11/2010
Yes, it takes courage and courage is a skill that can be built. I like the 'muscle' analogy. Thank you for sharing it.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
11:34 AM on 09/12/2010
Dear timetomoveon,

Your comment makes so much sense to me. Thank you for sharing the cognitive behavioral therapy technique.

Congratulations on building your muscle of courage! I can see how very valuable such a healthy muscle can become.

It is wonderful that we have processes and techniques to practise, until we become proficient with them. Such mastery is a wonderful gift to give ourselves I think.

With love to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
SShaw490
A man hears what he wants and disregards the rest
02:28 PM on 09/11/2010
When a deer walks into a new wood, he is not lost – he is still home. Grass still feeds him; his senses of sight, smell and sound still protect him. The Earth still surrounds him with life.

We, on the other hand, depend on an intangible, unnatural, foundationless system of currency and value; it is a system that we know, deep down, obeys no natural law and exists only in people’s minds. We know it could come crashing down tomorrow, despite the fact that it has endured for thousands of years.

But what if it did? What if I got a phone call and found that I owned nothing, and that my wife and I would spend the rest of our lives living in the most meager conditions? Would I still hear birds sing? Would I still see mothers and children share a look that says, “Love”? Would my wife and I still laugh at our own private jokes?

I went out this morning at 4:30AM and saw the most incredible, beautiful spider web. When I got home from running at 6:30AM, it was gone. I’m the only human ever to see that – if I was poor, would that be any less thrilling? If I lived to be older than Methuselah, would I ever forget my wife’s face? Or hiking with my son? Or the sound of elk bugling through mountain canyons?

Exactly what can be taken from me by the unnatural system of currency and value?
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
11:29 AM on 09/12/2010
Dear SShaw490

You have such a special way of seeing yourself and life in and around you. Another one of your lovely comments - thank you!

This is such a beautiful analogy:
"When a deer walks into a new wood, he is not lost – he is still home. Grass still feeds him; his senses of sight, smell and sound still protect him. The Earth still surrounds him with life." What is true for the deer is true for us.

The natural system of currency and value is within us as I understand it.

Love and blessings to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Judith Rich
Because life's too short to wear tight shoes.
09:06 PM on 09/12/2010
This is the same conclusion I came to in commenting on Kari's post. Everything of value I have within. It cannot be destroyed. It is eternal and ever present, no matter what the world looks like.

I can only find trust right here, right now, in this present moment, for that's all there is. The unknown future doesn't exist and never will, for when it comes, it will be the known now. Which brings me back to myself and my willingness to know and trust the truth of this moment.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
SShaw490
A man hears what he wants and disregards the rest
09:28 PM on 09/12/2010
"The unknown future doesn't exist and never will, for when it comes, it will be the known now."

I'd like to say something intelligent, but the only word I can think of is "wow".
12:56 PM on 09/11/2010
Good advice, Anne. When I face moments of despair, I try to connect with others via the web, or take a moment to reflect on my connection with everything around me, physically and spiritually. The affirmations for me, like your writer friend, go something like (during meditation):

Don't give up.
Let go.
Let life flow through you.
Be love.
Be strong.
Be free.

There are others, but these are the core concepts that always come to mind at the close of a brief session of mindful meditation. There is a universal spirit that flows through all living things, and, being disconnected from it, we suffer needlessly. My intention is to gather higher energy for myself and those within my influence from the world around me.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
11:21 AM on 09/12/2010
Dear TAOmeditation,

What you write here: "There is a universal spirit that flows through all living things, and, being disconnected from it, we suffer needlessly. My intention is to gather higher energy for myself and those within my influence from the world around me. " is music to my ears Thank you very much for taking the time to comment.

With love,
Anne
10:48 AM on 09/11/2010
Thanks Anne. Given today's date I found the headline quite poignant. Once I read on though I realised that here was some very solid and good advice which I will keep hold of and return to from time to time. Thanks again
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
11:19 AM on 09/12/2010
Hi Carole,

I was not entirely mindful of the date when I wrote the article. I am happy to know that you found the suggestions useful.

Love as ever,
Anne
10:38 AM on 09/11/2010
'The darkness', the recesses ('the Great Recession') of our Psyche, and our woundedness all hold great promise, especially in the very places where we fear most.
As Holderlin (German poet, 1800's) stated, "It is through our greatest danger where we find our salvation."
Be bold, be courageous, and yes! Trust!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
11:18 AM on 09/12/2010
Dear drazoth

What a beautiful comment - thank you! It echoes so much of what I sense about the challenges we meet, and the opportunities they offer us.

Abundant blessings to you,
Anne