Do you see suffering or injustice in the world and wish that things were otherwise? What does it take to be a successful activist? Are you one? If you are, the Huffington Post is a very good place for you to speak up and be heard.
My dad is an activist -- although one might never think so. He is quiet in his ways but no less persistent in achieving what he feels to be important. When I was growing up with my younger brother and sister, it was Mum who "ruled the roost." She was the extravert, social, a good cook and very well organized. Following a hip operation that went wrong a few years ago, her confidence plummeted, and she withdrew into herself. She stopped driving, cooked only basic things and no longer invited guests home for meals.
Recently, their roles have been reversed. Dad, a former officer in the British Royal Navy, was trained and skilled in organizing and supplying the needs to run an effective ship. He now runs their apartment, using those skills with an impressive level of efficiency. Both are growing frailer, and he recognized that they needed more help in the home. At first, Mum was reluctant to have strangers come in to help change the beds, do laundry, clean, give her a bath or sit with her to give Dad a break.
Quietly, he campaigned to convince her that some of their needs might be met by others. They now have a wonderful team of friendly younger women who not only lighten his load but provide willing company for Mum. She is delighted to chat and pass the time of day with them. These helpers provide a social life for her that she did not have the confidence to find for herself. Mum has taken on a new lease of life and interest. One of the women provides her service for a bar of chocolate each week, is a great networker and knows a number of others in the village who can help with things like mending furniture for a very small price.
Outside the home, Dad is active in other ways, organizing a League of Gentlemen from their retirement estate to support the local village cricket club. For a small annual fee, each Gentleman receives notification of the summer fixtures and tea in the pavilion during the summer cricket season. Up until last spring, Dad grew vegetables and fruit on an allotment garden and gave away excess produce to his neighbours. He only gave it up when it was too tiring for him to walk to it from their apartment.
Bearsted village, where they live, is in the heart of Kent in South East England, also known as the garden of England. It has all the charm and character of the best of English villages where people know one another and are happy to spend the day exchanging news and conversation. Each Saturday morning the local Women's Institute (think of the movie "Calendar Girls" and the spirit of English women brought together for companionship and good works) holds a market where you can buy freshly made cakes, scones, biscuits, pies, trifles and other desserts, together with garden produce and hand-made children's clothes. The market opens at 10 a.m. Dad has a place reserved for him at the head of the line as eager customers wait to go in.
The last time I was in England, I went with him to the Women's Institute Market. We walked slowly and stopped to greet fellow villagers. One gentleman apologised that he could not hear a thing -- 100 percent deaf, he said -- but wished us a good morning anyway. Dad told me that he always makes that apology.
A few months ago, a commercial enterprise wanted to build warehousing next to the village, which would have covered an area the equivalent of two football pitches. What is more, 2,000 employees would have been coming into the village each day. The project not only would have defaced the beauty of the countryside there but also would have totally changed the character of the village. The villagers protested. My Dad was amongst them. Although he did not attend all the meetings, he managed to make his voice heard through writing to the local press.
The good news for the village is that the project is not going ahead. The quality of village life is too precious to sacrifice for financial gain. As I have come to realize, wealth is so much more than money alone.
The point I am making here is that you do not have to be a politician, a business leader, young or someone in the public eye to make a positive difference. Nor do you have to be violent, unpleasant or aggressive in your campaigning to achieve a result. Cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead was quoted as saying, "A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
In her article last week, "Family Meals: The Forgotten Ritual," Kari Henley wrote about the importance and value of coming together as a family at meal time and the strength that gives to youngsters growing up. As head of the family, Dad gave us a lead. Mum cooked us good meals, which we enjoyed as a family. There is a little of the activist in me and my brother and sister. It is this coming together to share who we are that gives us confidence, courage and the daring to be fully ourselves, to let our voices be heard.
Sharing music is another way we can draw strength from a group, as the highly successful Rock Choir has demonstrated:
Belva Davis wrote, "Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so." What is the dream in your heart that you have yet to sing and have heard? In what capacity would you like to make a difference? Who are the dreamers, and what are the dreams, that inspire you?
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With love and blessings to you,
Anne
Yet another great post. I felt so transported and at home with you and your parents in the English countryside. Sometimes, we get so used to our own little worlds that we forget how many versions of living there are on this planet we share. At the same time, I appreciated how you emphasized the universal opportunity we all have to love and uplift one another. It truly is ours for the chosing.
Thanks for your weekly nourishment of the human spirit.
Much love,
Judith
Thank you so much for your encouraging words - much appreciated!
I am sure there are many parts of the world where similar stories can be told, of ordinary people leading what are in some ways extraordinary lives. Small communities have their treasures.
With love and joy to you,
Anne
The 'wise ones' say we choose our parents - in order to learn certain lessons. My dad passed over last year at 86. My mum is still hanging on at 97 in the shade. Could it be patience she's teaching me??
Love, Paul
You too could be blessed with longevity. Patience with or for what?
Good to see you here - thank you for stopping by!
With love,
Annie
What a great story! Reminds me of good things in my family. My parents were together 65 years. Mom's still around at 94; dad passed at 91... I miss him, he was a good man.
Euripides said, "When a good man is hurt all who would be called good must suffer with him."
My father understood, and I bet yours does. This represents the basis of many things, from altruism to activism. It's not necessarily about suffering, but extending support and meaning; standing together in the face of shallow intrusion and expedience; lending credibility to the expression, as SShaw490 said, of "undeniable truth".
For me, I know family has changed; not just in structure, but community and communication born from physical closeness seems too often diminished. The number of young single parents raising kids without the benefit of emotional support and examples of experience is troubling. The number of well intended parents unaware they are missing opportunities to guide their children toward a life lived with passion, and aimed at greatness is also an issue, and there are others.
So my dream and my passion is to affect family change, so children are not trapped by limitations born from an arrogance of ignorance passed through generations. I will do it individually, or in large groups. Big bite? Yes, but I am committed, and have never given that "gap" between dreams and reality a second thought.
Thanks for making good memories bubble up!
Lawson Meadows
It is always a joy to read about your commitment to the values you hold so dear - thank you for your contribution once again.
You seem to have longevity in your family genes, so you have a little while yet to bring about the reality that presently fills your dreams! Besides, so much fun can be had on the journey.
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
It's obvious that you inherited those "gentle activist" genes. What a blessing to have two parents who are not only still on the planet, but still here and engaged in the world around them. A wonderful role model for the rest of us as we enter this chapter of our own lives.
And how about that Rock Choir? Awesome! Thanks so much for including this video. I was so inspired by it, I emailed it to the choir director at my church and suggested she organize something similar. How wonderful for "ordinary" women to lift up their voices and know their own power to inspire others!
You continue to expand the envelope and I'm grateful to be invited into the spaces you create.
Much love always,
Judith
So good to see you here - thank you! Yes, my parents certainly are a blessing to us. I am very grateful for them.
Oh yes, and Rock Choir! A friend has joined one locally and was very enthusiastic about her experience with it. She has so much fun. Ttheir music has much of a "feel good" factor to it which makes a big difference in these days that people are feeling to be very challenging.
It seems that envelopes are inviting me to expand them..... ! I am very happy that you are joining me in those spaces.
With loving to you,
Anne
I believe so strongy that the little things we do in the inner circle of our family is one of the greatest accomplishments of any lifetime. What a treasure to have such an example as your father, and how his quiet ways inspired.
As someone who always had dreams of "making a difference" it was very profound for me to take in the humble side of making a difference simply be demonstrating my values as a mother, as a wife and as a friend. It may not be as widely recognized, but is the ultimate pay it forward.
with love
kari
Thank you for dropping by. I so appreciate the focus for and of family that you inspire. Your "ultimate pay it forward" has great value to me. Making a difference to those closest to you is one of the greatest gifts - your family are fortunate. Humble maybe, but also profound.
With love and appreciation to you,
Anne
Beautiful. I feel like I was right there with you in the village. We are One, after all, around the world. Re your questions: The dream in my heart: That we each be love, that we each claim the aspect of The Love Project (see carabarker.net) that is our unique contribution, that we step into the Love that brought us here, and flows through us when we are not afraid. In what capacity would I like to make a difference? Right here, right now, in whatever way I can "be the love", in whatever way is useful. The dreams and dreamers that inspire me? Too many to count, but for now: you, our fellow featured contributors here on HP, Gandhi, Meister Eckhart, Mother Teresa, Frieda Kahlo, May Sarton, Martin Luther King, Anne Morrow Lindberg, Mary Oliver, Carl Jung, my children, and grand-daughter, and, the many, many people from around the world I have been so blessed to hear their story, and evolve it. Already, I think of more names, but too little space.
Let me leave some for you, Anne, to thank you, and your mum and dad,
Cara
I so agree with you - we are all One, no matter where in the world we are. You are the Love, Cara. What is more, you work to bring more of that love alive in others. What a gift you are!
Always a joy to see you here. Thank you for your special presence.
With love and gratitude to and for you,
Anne
I dream of world harmony, family peace, well being, productive kids and a long life much like your mom and dad.
I would like to connect with as many people as possible through dialogue about life experiences as a means of leaving the world a better place.
I’m still inspired by Dr Martin Luther King Jr. Few have shared their dreams with such impact.
Thank you and I share your dream. Would we all leave the world a better place, then it surely shall be!
With love and appreciation to you,
Anne
No life need ever be lost. No life need ever be wasted. Each one of us plays an important part in our human orchestra.
Many do love my Dad - so you are in great good company!
With loving appreciation to you,
Anne
To be a vehicle of peace. All people to have a good life - be free of suffering.
In what capacity would you like to make a difference?
In every way possible.
Who are the dreamers, and what are the dreams, that inspire you?
I love the dreamers & the doers - Martin Luther King Jr. - HH the Dalai Lama, Gandhi (my wife Deb)
my mother-in.law, author Anne Bancroft
ZEN DIRECT POINTING TO REALITY
MODERN MYSTICS AND SAINTS
& 12 others -
A joy to see you hare! Thank you. You are remarkable vehicles of peace - dreamers and doers both. We are fortunate for your loving, joyous presence.
Dancing in your Light,
Anne
Now that effort would be just too much work. But his caretakers can tell that has been a focus of his life. Everybody takes an instant liking to him. For him, acting as if finally made it so.
With loving and blessings to you,
Anne
All of our careers are around his influence.
Peace and joy to you,
Anne
you are lucky to still have them, and they .you.
sweet kisses to them, they have a wonderful daughter who cares about life and the world.
peace.
Wishing you peace and happiness,
Anne
There are a couple of passages in the Bible that refer to a time when "your sons and daughters will speak of God, and the old men will dream dreams." If we do well enough in life, maybe we will come to a place where the spirit will speak to us not in words that we can repeat, but in the dream world that moves us gently from this world to the next; in dreams, in moods, in peace, in deep joy. I pray peace and joy for your parents, and I'm sure you bring joy to them. I would love to know the wisdom of the aged, but they can't teach it, because the wisdom of the aged doesn't fit within the bounds of language. Only the angels know the language that speaks to the aged, and they won't teach it to us until the time is right.
When you possess the wisdom of the aged, your activism against a business development that would deface your village isn't spoken in angry, or rational, or economic, or environmental terms. It's spoken in things like, "I love this place. This is my home. It should be as it is." And when you speak that kind of simple but deep, undeniable truth, it is meaningful.
I think we can intuit the wisdom of the aged by being with them. It comes with a quality of peace and humour, not necessarily in words. There are many ways we can listen - to infants and the elders.
What you say here: "And when you speak that kind of simple but deep, undeniable truth, it is meaningful." is true of any age. We can all do it! Meaning communicates.
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
"And when you speak that kind of simple but deep, undeniable truth, it is meaningful."
What a beautiful and powerful thought! Speaking the truth results in meaning, yet the sweetest sounds of truth are all too often lost on deaf ears. When the truth is lost, how do we know which path to follow, especially when so much ignorance is passed from one generation to the next.
Of course you are right; wisdom cannot be taught... to a closed mind; however, what can be taught, is the precursory element which makes its development possible: openness. An open mind, an open heart, an open door; each allows the sharing of your thoughts, actions and intentions honestly, and allows acceptance and appreciation of the same from others: a sharing of experience and values.
When that occurs, "right action" in any arena is often obvious because it is based on mutual appreciation of the value of each person's investment and experience in life. Yes, people have a right to buy and build on land adjacent to yours, but because they have the right, doesn't make it right. If they were wise, they would know that there is much more to it... and that's the truth.
Lawson Meadows