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Anne Naylor

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The Power of Limits to Awaken the Human Spirit

Posted: 11/13/10 12:57 PM ET

A friend recently sent me these words: "We need to surf the energy and conditions in the world in order for us to come into our full potential. We need to be ever more disciplined and willing to focus upon the positive regardless."

Individuals, and the world as a whole, have never been without conditions of some kind or another. So in a sense, the disorientation many of us are facing now is not new. With whatever conditions we face, we do have a choice. Do you bemoan your lot? Or when life delivers lemons, do you, as the saying goes, make lemonade?

Could it be that those conditions we face serve a purpose? Could that purpose be to know ourselves beyond the conditions, the limits, even the set of beliefs that we may have assumed about the way the world is, and how to play our part in it? Could we upgrade our game?

As a first-year architecture student, my first project was to design a garden pavilion -- without any limits. There was no terrain to negotiate, and the pavilion could be any size, shape and of any material we chose. The exercise was given for us to discover how difficult it is to design and create with no given framework. We learned how to value limitations, whether they came from client specification, budget, terrain, climate, detailed use for the construction.

Dr Paul Kaye wrote:

It has always fascinated me that creativity is often born out of limitation.


A great example of the use of limitation was in one of my all-time favorite movie scenes from Apollo 13. The Apollo 13 capsule, with three astronauts aboard, had very little power left and was rapidly running out of oxygen due to a malfunction in the system. The team of engineers in Houston had to figure out how to fix the problem using only a box of parts that were available to the astronauts in space. Due to the time constraints there was no room for error, it had to be right the first time. The engineers stared at the ragtag assortment of parts and then immediately got to work and came up with a unique design using plastic bags, cardboard, and duct tape to save the astronauts. Incredibly it was what actually happened in real life.

The next time we feel that we don't have enough money, or we can't have what we want, or we are in too much debt, instead of seeing it as a negative we can see it as an opportunity for creativity. Instead of feeling disempowered by what we are faced with, we can use the power of limits to expand.

The power of limits -- what a great phrase!

In my role as a wedding celebrant, I seek as much information about the couple and their families as I can, to create a ceremony that fits the intention they hold for their marriage partnership, both as individuals and as a couple. Just as a bride will have a dress fitted to the form of her body, so I aim to create a ceremony that fits the personalities and aspirations of the groom and bride.

I positively look for the sensitivities or limitations that will help to define their ceremony. Have they been married before with children to consider? Is there an important grandmother who will be taking a part in the ceremony? In marriages of mixed faith, what words are acceptable or inappropriate? What will make their ceremony special and memorable? With such information, it is much easier to design and officiate a ceremony that is authentic and from the heart.

How are the conditions you are facing actually serving you? How can you stretch your creativity to become more resourceful and engaged with what you have at hand? Do you need to shed some excesses -- old stuff in forgotten cupboard corners, projects long since abandoned but not properly discarded, new clothes unworn and hanging on rails -- in order to see more clearly?

Creativity thrives not in isolation but in company with others. It thrives with a person who has hobbies and interests that intrigue them. Creativity blesses the open mind.

The act of blessing a person, a situation or an issue can itself help to open the mind. Blessing is an act of love. With loving, we surf our conditions. To wish others happiness, joy and well-being is not limited to church leaders or those given spiritual authority. I have experienced powerful prayer coming from people who would consider themselves ordinary.

The condition I am presently facing is that of witnessing my dear parents becoming more frail, and frankly closer to the ends of their lives, whenever that may be. It is deeply sad for me to see them suffering the confusion and stress of having to lose some of their independence, to allow others to now assist and support them.

How do I surf this condition and focus on the positive regardless? The truth is, I am finding out as I go along. Intellectually, I know our lives are limited by time. We do not know the time limit until it shows up. Fortunately, I have dear friends who are assisting me to understand the process I am going through. Part of that process is staying in touch with the emotions as they touch me, and not trying to place a veneer of mental reasoning over the top of them.

I am learning that is OK to cry and not be in control of how I feel. Letting go of my reality as it has been will make space for a new reality to be born. Accepting the changes happening will enable me to touch more deeply into the spirit of who I am. However much my emotions seem to be dominating me, I do know that I am much more than my feelings or my thoughts. I am being awoken to something greater than I have known before. How do I know this? Because the loss I am viewing is profound for me.

I am being blessed by the loving, prayers and good wishes of caring friends. I do not feel alone. This makes a big difference to me.

Our lives are necessarily limited. If we were to fully know the immensity and magnificence of the total loving spirit in our world, who we truly are, I think we might blow our fuses.

A few years ago, my mother was very ill and emaciated. She lost a lot of weight. I was sleeping in the room next to her. I had a dream in which I saw the huge magnificence of her spirit, so far removed from her frail body. In my mum, so in each of us. We can choose to live closer to that spirit of who we are and rise above our conditions.

WATCH:


If you are feeling stuck in a situation, how do you open yourself to find a way through it? How has your creativity served you in the past? How do you "surf the energy and conditions of the world"? I would love to hear from you.

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at anne@annenaylor.com. 
Retweet this post or pass it to friends who may enjoy it. "The Wealth Book: Winning with Spirit" is available on my website. Go over and have a browse. I hope you might find something there to warm your heart and bring you joy. 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
khanti
Cultivator
02:14 AM on 11/16/2010
Within that happiness lies a deep sadness,
all meeting ends with departure,
another, another and another,
round and round the circle of rebirth,
may I end all sufferings this life,
never to return no matter how sweet,
the tempting honey that drips from the vine.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
03:20 AM on 11/16/2010
Thank you, khanti.

Joy and happiness to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:14 PM on 11/15/2010
My Dear Anne,

So good to see you back! My heart's been with you and your parents. In fact, it's brought me back in time to 38 years ago when my dad was suddenly gone due to a heart attack. Nine years later, my mother followed, although her process of decline was long an arduous. There's nothing like these moments to bring us to the Edge, and know that we all must do this walk ourselves,when our 'marching papers' come. The accompanying part, though, the bearting Witness to your parents dying, is so poignant, that the only frame seems to be whatever we find within that buoys us in such dynamic waters.

As an artist, all my life I've encountered the necessity of confronting limitation, at least, the appearance of limitation, and locating the interior structure of the 'thing,' so that flesh and blood can be found in what wants to be given expression. As a writer, the same wholes true. One thing that helps is to begin with the angle closest to me, and let go of all expectation. Same holds true in learning to walk again, my present Love Project! One step at a time, one kindness at a time, one breath at a time.
Sweet dreams,
Cara
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:42 AM on 11/16/2010
Dearest Cara,

Thank you so much for your words of understanding and warmth.

These are precious days of being able to return in small amount the gift of life given to me by my parents. It is a time of tremendous letting go - I suspect to make way for what is greater. For my Dad, the letting go of driving and the sense of independence that it has given to him. He may get to see how very much he is loved by those who now wish to assist him.

As you write, I get the sense of how limitation is illusion even as it plays a useful role for new expression. One step at a time - how beautiful is that! A true Love Project. I can take that to heart for myself.

Huge love and appreciation to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MerrieWay
08:58 PM on 11/15/2010
Anne...blessings to you. Watching our loved ones fade into another realm of existence...opens every sinew within us. Every cell scintillates with a vibration of compassion,often helplessness, and even gratitude for sharing the experience. I know my being found an authenticity I had never know before. There's no going back, only expansion, hopefully gracefully into the new.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:35 AM on 11/16/2010
Dear MerrieWay,

So good to see you - thank you for your kind words.

What you say here is very touching and inspiring to me - and true: "There's no going back, only expansion, hopefully gracefully into the new."

With love and blessings to you,
Anne
12:27 PM on 11/15/2010
Dear Anne:
Please keep on doing what you're doing.
Much love,
Correns
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:32 AM on 11/16/2010
Thank you, Correns. Seems like there may be no stopping me... !

With love to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Judith Johnson
Author, Educator, Coach and Interfaith Minister
11:29 AM on 11/14/2010
Hi Anne,
I love the question about surfing the energy and conditions of the world. In my coaching practice and in my own life, I am forever reminding myself and others that we need to focus on shooting the rapids of life rather than trying to sanitize away all negativity from our lives. Hard times are part of the package. I find that if I focus my attention on moving through my life experiences and learning the lessons that they are presenting to me, I am far better off than if I play the victim and think life is being unfair to me.
Thanks for another wonderful post and an awesome video.
Much love,
Judith
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
03:44 PM on 11/14/2010
Hi Judith,

I love what you say here: "I find that if I focus my attention on moving through my life experiences and learning the lessons that they are presenting to me, I am far better off .. " This matches my own experience.

Thank you for your kind words and loving presence.

Joy to you,
Anne
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08:08 AM on 11/16/2010
i like your attitude. i look forward to your blogs. you got spunk and guts.
happiness,
p
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:26 PM on 11/13/2010
Hi Anne - You ask:

If you are feeling stuck in a situation, how do you open yourself to find a way through it?

Be still enter into meditation.

How has your creativity served you in the past?

Joyfully- it is a blessing & humbling. Writing books and living a simple life.

How do you "surf the energy and conditions of the world"?

Carefully!

Ommmmmm
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:51 AM on 11/14/2010
H Ed and Deb,

Beautiful comment, as always. Thank you for stopping by.

With joy as ever to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MerrieWay
08:38 PM on 11/15/2010
Humbled and blessed...by your comment...Creativity is in each breath. Hugs to you & Anne.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LifeChangeStartsNow
I am love, discernment, confident, resourceful, as
08:01 PM on 11/13/2010
Love this article Anne, and that video oh my gosh - the strength of the human spirit and the thread of love which binds us all is amazing.

I don't know how to answer for myself so I'm going to direct you to Eve Ensler's Gift of Cancer - it doesn't get more eloquent, touching or telling than this http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/the-gift-of-cancer_b_774641.html

Cheerios
Catherine
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:49 AM on 11/14/2010
Thank you for commenting and for the link, Catherine. It is very moving.

The strength of the human spirit in its many forms is always touching to me.

All God's blessings to you,
Anne
04:56 PM on 11/13/2010
"Whoever is spared personal pain must feel himself called to help in diminishing the pain of others" Schweitzer
04:55 PM on 11/13/2010
Whoever is spared personal pain must feel himself called to help in diminishing the pain of others. - Albert Schweitzer
04:52 PM on 11/13/2010
Life-changing story: the human spirit at it's best. “Whoever is spared personal pain must feel himself called to help in diminishing the pain of others. We must all carry our share of the misery which lies upon the world.” - Albert Schweitzer
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:45 AM on 11/14/2010
Thank you, Iain2008, for your comment. Very true what you point out.

With love,
Anne
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
SShaw490
A man hears what he wants and disregards the rest
04:35 PM on 11/13/2010
I hate to say it, but I'm more of a whiner than I should be - my family and I find ourselves living in suburban sprawl in a place that we used to love but now has become overdeveloped and just has the feel of wanton destruction of nature for profit. It just kills me; I grew up here and I remember all the green and all the quiet, and now it's house after house and road after road, shopping malls, and concrete. Sometimes I just don't feel like I can breathe. We have a firm plan to move somewhere else, but it'll be another year or so before we can do it, so that's at least something to look forward to.

But I was out running early this morning, and I noticed all the trees in peoples' yards rising to the heavens and dwarfing those puny human efforts. And I thought, I breathe out the things the trees need and the trees breathe out what I need - that will never change. And as soon as the shopping malls go broke and they don't get maintained, the grass will find cracks in the concrete and the walls will crumble and eventually collapse. I thought, we can build whatever we want, and nature is never defeated. The moment we stop trying to beat it back, it returns. The earth wins every time.

It's depressing today, but today isn't the same as forever. All will be well, sooner or later.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
G E H
10:41 PM on 11/13/2010
This comment reminds me of one of my favorite songs: "Nothing but Flowers" by the Talking Heads. :)
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:44 AM on 11/14/2010
Dear SShaw490

I love how you make the comparison between nature and suburban sprawl. Thank you for stopping by.

There is I think a skill in finding the beauty even in the most unlikely places.

It sounds like you have a really good plan to find somewhere that is more in tune with your nature. I hope that it works out really well for you and that you find much more to be smiling about each day!

With love and blessings to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Judith Rich
Because life's too short to wear tight shoes.
11:15 AM on 11/14/2010
I wrote my comment to SShaw 490 without reading your response, Anne. I see that I'm again, an echo of your thoughts.

This is an interesting concept: The power of limitations. It brings to mind another saying: "Necessity is the mother of invention". When we're confronted by conditions that limit our options, we tend to get real serious about finding possibilities within what we have. Like now, in the world, with limited oil, only now will we get serious about developing new technologies. It seems that limits help to focus our thoughts.

Having lost both my parents years ago, my heart goes out to you as you walk this walk with yours. It's a bittersweet experience; the agony of watching aging parents lose their grip on life, actually makes the preciousness of each remaining moment extra sweet. If that makes any sense.

My love and prayers are with you,
Judith