Anyone who is residing in the power of love is
never destroyed, never separated, always free,
always up, always growing.
-- John-Roger
What is love for, other than expressing it, giving and receiving? This may sound obvious, but how often have you wanted to express your love and it came out differently, or was misunderstood or perhaps you were made to feel ashamed in some way?
There is a price to pay for not making the attempt. You may suffer a lost connection, or never learn from having made a mistake. Either way, not expressing your love, you are the less for holding back where you might have given.
khanti commented on last week's article, "Igniting an Unspoken Conversation."
Do you remember the song Living Next Door To Alice? I always wonder why the guy lived the past 24 years next door to Alice and never expressed his love for her.
WATCH: Smokie -- Living Next Door To Alice:
It made me wonder how many hold back their love. It "should" be the easiest thing in the world, but often it is not. You might be scared of appearing vulnerable, of being hurt or rejected. But you never know what blessings might occur through being more courageous.
Then, I wondered what the world might be like if more of us expressed our love. Might be very nice. The human community is surely in need of our love as many struggle to find their way in this evolving world.
In a marriage, for want of expression, love may dwindle and disappear altogether. And romance may fade. From SShaw490's comment last week:
This is eerily timed -- my wife and I have been married for 28 years, and like in lots of marriages, we've grown distant over the years. Small slights unforgiven and little insensitive words unforgotten have built a wall, then outright resentment. She's smarter than I am, and she realized we had to do better, so she opened up the conversation by telling me that she was unhappy and felt that I was closed off and hostile. She was right, of course. I don't express myself well, but I tried to run through the laundry list of all the things I didn't like about our relationship, then for some reason I started telling her about the first time I ever saw her face -- and how I fell in love with her right there. Within five minutes of meeting her, I was in love -- and it's the ultimate sin, the absolute worst thing a person who's living on the Earth can do, to push that love down under the swill of resentment over irrelevant things. When I look at her face today, I see exactly the same 20-year-old I saw the first time. If I live in anything but gratitude and amazement that such a thing could happen to me, I'm living the pinnacle of human failure.
Last weekend, Alice Barker of The Number One Ladies Website Agency devoted great care, detail and attention in uploading my "The Wealth Book -- Winning With Spirit." She treats all her projects in this way. They are a passion and an expression of her love. Alice is also one of he most generous people I know. Friends go out of their way to support her when she has need of it.
This summer, I am assisting a friend with a course of study which involves my choosing an intention each day. An intention does not have to be grand or life long. It comes from the heart. I have found this exercise amazingly powerful and enlightening. One day, I chose the intention: To express my love. Simple.
Instead of staying comfortably at home, I made a point to go out and meet friends when the opportunity showed up. It was very rewarding. In giving my interest and attention, I found myself receiving new ideas and fresh contacts. Later, I took care to express my love in phone calls, in emails and to myself, with a little more patience, tolerance and humor.
Before you express the power of love, you must
first be silent in order to find out what love is.
-- John-Roger
The point about an intention is that of becoming more consciously aware of an experience or expression you would like to be enjoying more. Imagine a day in which you might choose to be consciously aware of the beauty in and around you, to be grateful for the blessings you normally take for granted, to be open to receive, to trust in the goodness in your life, or to be willing to surrender doubt for wonder. Love has many dimensions.
Consider ways you might express your love: by a simple touch to a loved one, a smile to a stranger walking by, a phone call to a friend with whom you have lost touch, through taking on a inspired project at work or in your community, or by participating with the Breakthrough challenge here on HuffPost, to transform a current crisis into a magnificent new life.
Imagine the power of expressing your love, what you care about and what is true for you:
- at home with your special loved ones;
- at your workplace with your colleagues, boss or employees;
- in your community with friends, at school or college, your church.
What would that be like for you? I would love to hear how that has been for you in the past, or how that could be for you now, and in the future.
Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at anne@annenaylor.com
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Anne Naylor: Finding Trust In An Unknown Future
Jan Shepherd: Love Is a Verb: Don't Just Say It, Show It
How to Express Your Feelings to the One You Love - wikiHow
How to Express Your Love | eHow.com
How men express love - Male / Female Communication Styles - Helium
I found this post very helpful and insightful.It's amazing how much we loosing by letting fear overcome us. I think a lot of people suffer from doubts. How little or big they may be, these doubts may stem from past experiences, hardships and preconceived notions and expectations. Both stemming from within us and those who are close to us, the influence both negative and positive, leave behind strong impressions and habits that forms layers around our hearts, core values and the way we think. Working from within our self and discovering the power we have in making powerful changes in our attitude towards life, the people we meet, and the habits we may have deliberately or inadvertently picked up holds the key to begin the process of unlocking the doors to liberating our hearts. It all begins with the very simple exercises you described, a simple touch to a loved one, a smile to a stranger walking by, a phone call to a friend with whom you have lost touch, through taking on a inspired project at work or in your community, to transform a current crisis into a magnificent new life. These little steps can go a long way in liberating and unleashing the innate and wonderful power of Love that waits within every heart. As humans we strongly underestimate how vital an element Love is in realizing our purpose, dreams and those of the collective Humanity around us.
Thank You,
Best Regards,
- Jai Krishna Ponnappan
It can all become endless circles if the fear of loving takes away the colors of simple joys. I always try to keep an awareness of Love. It is not easy when I read the news of war or misdeeds, all which oppose my philosophies.
And then I remember Love in its simplest form. I wake up to a home that is serene. My Sweetie smiles in his sleep when he feels me next to him. My perfect cat jumps on the bed. When I part those sheer drapes, nature is revealed outside the windows. The sun warms me. There are communications from people I love waiting inside that slick computer. A cup of coffee- bliss! I listen to Krishna Das. The world is uncomplicated for a while.
Love.
There is a challenge to living inside your heart and allowing it to expand. It is a risk. Yes, you can get hurt. That Other World is usually sideways and you have to decide how much you will allow into your space. People will disappoint you. You might stumble, too. There will always be goodbyes.
Love is not a dream, an unreachable concept or a fading memory. It is our birthright. It's power reflects every possibility that is always available to us. Just reach and then reach again.
Peace.
You remind me that the choice is to keep choosing and choosing again to love, no matter what is going on around you. Reach and then reach again. To capture the moments of love that are so present.
Your words are very beautiful.
With love, joy and blessings to you,
Anne
I suspect you are taking the Intent challenge here! It is quite an astounding thought to make a conscious intention for each and every day. A potentially life changing experience- including this wonderful post about giving out more love. A challenge that has no down side! The expressing and giving of love does not require a response from the other- as it is something being given for the Self. Love the clip too! thanks for making all of us smile!
Grete to see you here! Yes, I did take the Intent challenge, but my current one is something else. No matter. Doing a daily intent is a very lovely thing to do.
What you say about not requiring a response from the other is so true. Given freely, loving is its own reward.
Smiling is one of the best ways I know to express love. It makes the smiler feel better too!
With much love to you,
Anne
Without demonstration, "I love you!" is eventually a hollow message. Early in my marriage of 40 years, my wife asked why I loved her (you women!); I discovered the best answer was, "Because of the way you make me feel... you make me feel loved!" I also discovered my best action was to make her feel the same by doing, not just saying. It may seem obvious that love is a verb, but the tendency toward regression to a comfy complacent state is too common. The not-so-secret secret: loving is a process through time; how you spend that time; how you show your love, can determine if it grows or fades.
My main interest is in the effect of family interactions on raising children; I always consider them in my thoughts. Be the example by showing your kids love with the same passion you lend to other important areas of your life. The cold statistics reflect diminished parental time spent with children because of assorted reasons (TV, Jobs, full schedules, et al.). I’m not saying to hover (bad), but showing your kids the joy and abundance of love takes more than a few minutes each day.
There is a community of support for raising kids in assorted areas, but I believe parents are in the unique position to show how to love, so you must make time to take time with them individually and as a family.
With much gratitude,
Lawson of DaMoKi
Thank you for your wise contribution to the discussion. Love as a verb is what makes the difference.
What you say reminds me of Show Me from My Fair Lady:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8zyF0ZOy3k
I also love what you say about the parenting of children. They learn most from our actions and we need to be spending time with them to be seeing us in action.
May you be abundantly blessed in every way,
Anne
Thanks for the kind words and the link... I had not seen that in a long time, and you were right.
Have a great week!
Lawson
It is funny. I've just come from having dinner with a dear friend here in the midst of Hollywood. I watched the mini skirt, handbag and great shoe parade...and loved doing my best to share love.
The essence of life is sharing with our the essence of our souls with all the travelers we see along the way.
You draw a wonderful picture of the Hollywood parade.
I love what you say about sharing the essence of our souls with all the travelers we see along the way. Even thinking about it makes me feel exuberant and joyful inside.
What if we could really love it all, even and especially the seemingly "unlovable".
Joy and blessings to you,
Anne
Through living, we seem to learn that our inner person shouldn't be expressed too much because we might embarrass ourselves. That's a shame. Our inner person is probably a better one than the outer person that we learn to project.
What a wonderful image you conjure of both your son and the possibility for us all. Oh yes, if only we were as free and expressive as children. I think we would be much livelier, more energized and even healthier for it.
Imagine even one day when we chose to be that way.
With love to you,
Anne
This was very moving. You are so right about love having many dimensions. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband for 34 years. Our love started out as a great friendship. And I believe that this friendship has helped keep our love alive so long! When one of us id down, the other knows how to bring joy to life! Hopefully we have passed this to our son who is in the dating process! Something that I live by is something my mother always told me- Never go to bed angry.How true!
thanks again!
awarg
Congratulations on your 34 years marriage! It must have brought you great joy over the years.
Your mother's words were wise indeed.
With love to you,
Anne
I love your post! It reminds me of Cara's last article, Love Is Not A Spectator Sport. Love isn't something we do as much as who we are By not expressing love, we're denying our very essence. How sad that "in the heat" of relationships, this is often lost, but that also is part of the human journey. We forget and then remember, and then forget, etc.
My vision is of a world in which we all know and embrace our divine nature, which is Love. Seems we're a long way off, but in any given moment, humanity could awaken and KNOW. Thank you for shining a light to this truth.
Abundant blessings to you,
Judith
You, Cara and I seem to be weaving around some of the same themes recently. Yes, I am sure at any moment many more of us can awaken and know our divine nature, which is Love. I am reminded of the Chinese image of dripping water on a stone, which in time carves out a groove. Little by little, a new image is carved out,
As long as the conversation on loving is kept alive, we never know when a change may be effected, regardless sometimes of appearances to the contrary. The sudden death of Princess Diana brought about a sea change of emotion and feeling in the normally cool British people.
I love how you too keep the light shining bright.
With best love and blessings to you,
Anne
I wrote a blog post about this called "50 Ways to Love Your Ex." Check it out. http://www.postcardsfromapeacefuldivorce.com/266/50-ways-to-love-your-ex/
Grieving, like breathing, touches each differently, ... Accusations fly before our minds are even properly engaged in what has happened to each of us involved.
Holding close to what remains is often all we can share and keep. Finding love again as part of those relationships is a way to bring some joy to what would otherwise appear to relegate us to be statistics. It is no more complex than simply acknowledging the death of one another's parents, ... illnesses we face, ... and professional accomplishments, ... even after divorce. It is an honor for me to see how the world appreciates the two incredible women who have been my wives, and dearest friends, and the mothers of my daughters. Lucky, ... Lucky me!
I'm honored, Molly, to read, and refer your words to others, with your permission. I'm also a believer that a turn of the heart can be as simple as saying "I believe differently about my past". That part is up to each of us.
Your blog post is very inspiring. When it comes to expressing love, there is almost no end to what we can potentially learn. I hope many others are inspired by your words of gratitude.
Best love and blessings to you,
Anne
Thanks again for your kind words.
Much appreciation-Molly
Love is a purely spiritual experience. It does nothing for us on a rational level; it does everything for us on a spiritual level. So, it's a life experience that transcends life and tells us there is life beyond life. And if that life beyond life is like love, it's gonna be good.
Thank you for your very thoughtful comment.
I too have found that love can be supremely inconvenient, and in my experience, supremely rewarding. My strong sense is that "life beyond" is like love and that it is very good indeed. And if we can have just a little of that loving experience here in this world, well then that would be very remarkable indeed. And it is entirely possible.
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
Also, for me giving and receiving are just different sides of the Loving coin. Giving has been kinda more natural for me, and is easier for me to find JOY in-- but I have learned over the last few years how blessed it is to RECEIVE and to allow others to share their loving OF me with me. I give them the gift of their own Loving when I allow them to express and share, and give of their Loving to me-- just as I get the gift of experiencing my Loving when others receive that (gracefully) from me.
I sometimes forget, ... pretend that I should not let my love show so much, ... and am then dumbstruck my own silliness in that way. Who does not remember with kindness, every time they were told that they were genuinely loved? I will try to remember what you describe, ... give it, and now is better than later. Take it to your heart when others give it, ... and know that this is the most valuable gift you will ever receive or give.
I came here to be reminded, ... and your words were that reminder for me. Thank you!
Your comment warms my heart. Your contribution here is so uplifting and wise.
Thank you for expanding so beautifully on the themes of giving and receiving and what they mean for you. This so much matches my own experience.
With love and appreciation, to and for you,
Anne
No better time than now to bring the three words front and center, by touch, expression, kindness, or best of all, to just speak them loud and clear. If we don’t, then, there will be “a price to pay for not making the attempt.”
Much love to you for your gift to write.
I so agree with you about expressing love as being part of the transformation puzzle. I am right with Judith Rich and Cara Barker on their latest posts.
My love of writing grew from a time when I was separated from my family in my pre and early teens. My Dad's work took him overseas. I stayed back in England at school and spent one holiday a year with them. I felt desperately homesick and wrote letters to connect with them, for a short time, one a day. My writing grew out of love, and stays that way.
Thank you for your kind words.
Loving you,
Anne
Fancy meeting you here! Uncertain times... I like the dovetail with Dr. Rich's scarcity (and enough) concept. I have been working that in with my writing about kids and the relationship between expectations and acceptance, and how those two, relating to frustration or contentment, can influence and impact the learning of skills, habits, and attitudes (behavior)... all of which are facilitated in a loving supportive environment. There is an abundance of love... we just need to teach those around us by example.
Lawson of DaMoKi
what a blessing if people knew that everyone is love
Think of this body we live in - it's all "Unconditional Love" (we wrote a book with this title)
see how the blood within us all is always circulating,- how the ground beneath us always support us. How the universe - the planets - earth is always in orbit - if for a second it wasn't - there would be no more world.- a rose, a babies smiles- it's all love - held in love - live in love rejoice in love!
as the Beattles said:
It's Only Love :-))
Ed
Well I just had to go scoot over to YouTube and the Beatles All You Need is Love...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4p8qxGbpOk
Love is so much greater than hate that even if there were a little hate around in the world, love can embrace it and release it off to the nothingness from which it came.
Live in love and rejoice in love. Definitely. Your images of Unconditional Love are very warming and inspiring, thank you! If we know love more, we sleep better, we get less stressed, we have more fun, and hey, we dance too. As the Beatles say, It's easy.
I am all for easy, or even easier is a good start.
Huge love to you,
Anne