Asked what she would like me to write about on the subject of "wealth," friend and regular reader of my Huffington Post articles, Anna, responded:
"A Wealth of 'Confidence,' with the ability to continue to use that strong intuition or instinct we all feel, and to trust it and follow it."
Not everyone asked, "What does wealth mean for you?" comes up with, "Money."
Confidence grows from the inside out. It means "with - faith or trust, to have full trust." Confidence comes from being authentically who you truly are. Put another way: know yourself, be true to yourself.
The natural intuition or instinct we have gains strength as we use it. It means being willing to honor yourself over and above the opinions others might have. If you live or work in a community that is very dependent upon appearances, superficial values or gaining the approval of others, then it is more difficult to be true to your authentic self, which knows what is best for you.
In such a culture, it takes great courage to be true to yourself. However, the costs of denying your truth can prove very expensive. What do I mean by that? If you depend upon outer influences for your guidance or direction in life, you ignore your own inner compass. You could exhaust and stress yourself in the search to prove to others that they are "right" by agreeing with them rather than by listening to your own truth, trusting and honoring it.
When you can trust yourself, you will find it easier to trust others -- to do whatever they may do. Becoming more inner-dependent will afford you wonderful strength, clarity and peace of mind and yes, greater self-confidence. Trusting yourself will also increase your capacity for using your intuition.
Here are seven ways to build your confidence. I am sure there are many others. Let me know how you get on.
1. Breathe, relax and smile.
Even if you do not feel confident, looking that way helps. For the confidence that connects you to others, first get connected with yourself. Steady breathing can do that.
2. Envisage positive results for yourself.
Watch how you speak with others. That is to say, "fearing the worst" will set your imagination off on a downward spiral, away from confidence. Do you ever notice yourself talking in negative terms? As in, "What if this, that or the other disaster happens?" Until something has happened, it has not.
In my experience, life is a malleable thing. We can imprint our positive focus and intention upon it. Expect the best and you may find that it happens. I like to say with any vision I hold, "This, or something even better for the highest good of all," as a safety clause and being open to more that I cannot see at the time.
3. Get a confidence mentor.
A confidence mentor is one who can help you stay on track. If you are feeling low in confidence, this person can help to remind you of your value and worth and the importance of your life goals and intentions. This person is likely to be positively oriented themselves, expansive and happy to support you. Helping to support you could prove to be a gift for them.
Do not be shy to ask for assistance. None of us is alone. Be open for encouragement when you need it. Even a silent wish has in my experience produced the perfect people, seemingly "out of the blue." It may be less what they say and more who they are that helps me to stay confident.
4. Recall those times you did well and were proud of yourself.
Those times could include a small success at school when your teacher and friends praised you, a competition you won, a garden project at which you excelled, art work which was appreciated or a time you reached out to help another person in need. Return to those moments of fullness and contentment, knowing your own goodness of action and intent.
5. Stand on your value and significance.
Are you engaged in what feels meaningful and important for you? At work, in your community, at your church or free time? You are very wealthy in resources of love and wisdom, and perhaps you have yet to fully discover your personal assets. We all have tremendous wealth within us. It is not an ego trip to be aware of what you have going for you, especially if you are using what you have to benefit others in some way, professionally or otherwise.
Your life is a gift. As you give it, you will see yourself that way. Giving builds your confidence to be more, to do more and to receive more -- at any age or stage of life.
6. Risk.
Do one brave thing today. Yes, that one. It could be a tricky communication you have been avoiding. It is not about putting your own, or anyone else's life in danger. Find a way to connect to your heart, such as thinking about a loved one, and from that place of loving within you, speak your truth. The truth spoken in love never hurt anyone.
Taking positive action to challenge your doubts and fears has a way of rewarding you with greater energy and confidence.
7. I am most confident when I ...
Complete the above statement a few times, learn from what comes to mind and put it into practice.
How do you build your confidence? I would love to know -- and to learn from you! Please leave a comment or drop me a line at anne@annenaylor.com
Follow Anne Naylor on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Anne4Joy
Lisa Haisha: Self-Confidence: 4 Ways To Build It So You Can Live the Life of Your Dreams
Morty Lefkoe: How You Can Build Your Confidence
Lisa Haisha: Get Real: Unmasking the 8 Imposters That Hinder Your Success
Dr. Cara Barker: How Are You Keeping Fear Alive? 3 Steps You Can Take to Build Self-Confidence
10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence | PickTheBrain ...
How to Build Self Confidence: 6 Essential and Timeless Tips
How to Build Confidence - Amy Gallo - Best Practices - Harvard ...
How To Build Self-Esteem and Confidence - Ways To Feel More Confident
Good to see you here! Thanks for contributing.
Peace to you,
Anne
I build my confidence by reaching big goals with small steps. Each step not only moves me closer to accomplishment but reminds me, YES I CAN. Seems to me the biggest hurdles in life sit on the threshold of my own front door. Once I get out the door, everything else is easier.
All the best,
Katherine (Robertson-Pilling)
Good to see you here. Beautiful imagery about getting out the door. So true! It speaks to me of a high level of cooperation.
Joy to you!
Anne
Happiness to you,
Anne
By making as many mistakes as possible & picking myself up & keep moving forward!
and - Loving & keeping my heart open to myself & others! -
keep the faith -
Luvluv - Ed
I am with you on the mistakes. What are they, after all, but steps on the path that leads to more loving...
The open and loving heart - now there's a change to put into daily practice....
LovenHugs,
Anne
Honoring yourself over the opinions of others is basic not just to the confidence of self, but of most of the other “selfs”, like -image, -determination, -control, -reliance, et al.
Depending on outer guidance or direction at the expense of your inner self is to yield control of your future, and therefore, being your authentic self is difficult because you are vague about who you are, want to be, were meant to be, or can be. So, there is no inside self to trust, no wealth of experience in seeing your inner self as uniquely you. How could there be when you perceive your “self” only as a definition from others?
I particularly like and use #2 because positive thoughts and expectations tend to focus me for, and increase my senses in anticipation of, positive outcomes. Pragmatically, if you look for positive outcomes, particularly opportunities, you are more likely to recognize their approach. Additionally, the interpretation of any outcome will be skewed in the positive direction.
Also, #5 is a cornerstone in the wall of confidence. Significance reflects how much you give; success reflects how much you accumulate. It takes more courage, consideration, and therefore confidence to give of yourself, rather than to take from others.
The answer to your question about how I build confidence is that I look inward and engage in the process of doing where both successes and failures enrich the outcome, and build a base of confidence in my choices.
Lawson
Your comments get meatier - thank you!
This makes so much sense to me: "Depending on outer guidance or direction at the expense of your inner self is to yield control of your future, and therefore, being your authentic self is difficult because you are vague about who you are, want to be, were meant to be, or can be."
I also love this:
"Significance reflects how much you give; success reflects how much you accumulate. It takes more courage, consideration, and therefore confidence to give of yourself, rather than to take from others."
Keep the comments coming, Lawson You - and they - are very much appreciated.
Wishing you a happy week ahead!
Anne
One seeks to plug the uncertainty of the result by comforting ideas.
Just being aware of the comfort concentrates the energy here and now.
Y V Chawla
http://www.fundamentalexpressions.com
Joy to you,
Anne
You are hitting on all cylinders here dear Anne. For much of my life I went merrily or blindly along without getting to know myself very well at all. Life was really pretty easy. Then my wife of 20 years gave me a great gift. She ran away; broke my heart; and knocked out the rickety underpinnings of my life.
It has been the gift of finding out who I REALLY AM and the chance to reinvent myself into a better man. (Okay it really sucked there for about 2 years but hey!)
If I could add one thing to make it eight cylinders it would be - go do something you have always wanted to do. For me it was to play ice hockey and to join Toastmaster. It could be hike the Grand Canyon, take a painting class or learn the piano. Self esteem is a verb.
When you're on the down side of advantage and getting by on courage alone your list is priceless. I know from experience.
Feeling much gratitude for your writing.
Peace on ya!
So good to hear from you and thank you for your peace!
What a tremendous "Blessing In Disguise" your wife gave you! If something is not a blessing, it could well be BID.
Self-esteem is a verb - how true. I love what you did to pick yourself up. I have a friend who went to Toastmaster to help his expression in the world. Next step, he went to a singing teacher. Yesterday, I watched and heard him sing. He was brilliant. No self-consciousness. He stood before us and let his sound out. It was so touching to me. I really enjoyed his singing.
I am grateful for your contribution here, Bill. I'll take your eighth cylinder myself!
Blessings to you,
Anne
In reading your article just now, I was reminded of those people I know who exude love and generosity 24/7. It's just who they are. They're not "trying" to be confident or loving or generous, it's their nature to be so and they freely give it away, knowing that to harbor their gifts inside and not share them, only dims their brilliance.
Those people inspire me and make me want to be more of who I am as well. So having a "confidence mentor", someone I might call an "empowerment mentor, coach or friend" is a powerful asset to have. When I lose my way, how good it is to know that I can look around and see many powerful mirrors reflecting a greater truth. This builds trust and faith, which are huge components of confidence.
Thank you for expanding our awareness of what constitutes wealth. I love the larger context!
Many blessings,
Judith
Curiously, I met exactly one of those generous, joyous people yesterday. She smiles because why not, it is easy! And she is giving. As she says, what goes around comes around. She is happy to receive unexpected gifts and surprises. She is equally happy to give them herself.
I love the powerful mirrors around to remind me when I lose sight of the greater truth available to me. Readers of these pages probably derive this kind of benefit. Good reminders of what we know deep down. Confidence, trust and faith give a firm foothold in this world of ours, especially when things are being shook up mightily.
Oh yes, I know that wealth is so very much more than what we can immediately touch and hold. And yet, we drive ourselves out of reach of the very thing which is sitting quietly and waiting for us to embrace it. Funny creatures us humans!
With much love to you,
Anne
I'm just reading about the "new" Gift Economy, based on paying it forwards. I can feel a new article brewing here. I've just discovered a restaurant in my area called Karma Kitchen in which customers eat for "free" and are encouraged to pay for someone else's meal.
I love this! They're only open on Sundays. Can't wait to go next week!
The gifts are always there, waiting to be received.
Love,
Judith
PS- I couldn't find your post on the site.... wonder why it came down so quickly?