With great reluctance I bring you this week's The Hills recap, what could likely be my last (let's take a moment while you gasp in shock and disbelief). You see, the show has reached new depths of misery with each passing week, and my experience of recapping has transformed from one of delightful mockery into, well, the literary equivalent of pulling teeth -- or something else just as miserable.
I never imagined that the Heidi and Spencer drama would become the thing I look forward to most about the show; during the Lauren Conrad years I used to fast-forward through the unbearable Speidi scenes in favor of watching my favorite faux-reality heroine. Nowadays, as Heid and Spencer remain suspiciously absent the show can barely hold my interest and seems to only succeed in warranting more self-disgust for watching with each passing minute. Fortunately, The Hills is followed by The City, and the adventures of Hills-alum Whitney Port are an excellent replacement for The Hills I once enjoyed.
That isn't to say the show was anything spectacular when Lauren was still in episodes -- I mean, if we're being honest The Hills has always drifted between miserable and mediocrity -- it's just that much more glaringly obvious now.
Kristin Cavallari makes for an enjoyable center of the show if only because she embraces her role as the token bad girl, has no reservations about speaking her mind, and really just loves herself in the purely narcissistic sense, which for some reason makes her more amusing. Furthermore, the girl knows how to make an exit. Case in point: after her verbal smackdown of McKaela in this week's episode, she pounded the remainder of her wine and stormed off. Boom! McKaela, sweetie - that emo song playing over your sad face signifies impending doom; you and Allie Lutz would be smart to return from whence you came. Speaking of Miss Lutz, she was not quite the high-stakes drama-maker the promos have made her out to be. A shame.
I will continue to watch the show, however I can't promise the same for these recaps unless there's something that really warrants some mockery. I'd rather spare us all the pain.
Speaking of pain -- I'm considering watching/recapping The Bachelorette -- a show I've never seen before. Any interest? Or other suggestions as to which miserable reality show I should take on next?