11/23/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Don't Vote, You've Got Better Things To Do

Don't bother going to vote on November 4th, because lets face it, you have better things to do.

I mean it's not like this is an important election, one that is going to potentially decide the path the United States end up walking for the next generation or longer. It's not like the next president will have to make some of the most important foreign policy decisions in recent memory. And obviously the economy looks like it going to be just fine for the next few years, no need to worry there. I mean sure, the next president is going to have to clean up after the man who is widely considered to be the worst president ever, but how hard could that be?

When you think about it, all the next president will have to worry about is the addiction to foreign oil, the growing power of radical Islam, a possible resurgence of violence in Iraq, a revived Taliban in Afghanistan, the influence of radicals from Pakistan, proliferation of nuclear weapons around the world, national health-care, an increasingly aggressive Russia, the dominance of the industrial-military complex, the arrival of China as a superpower, corruption due to years of decreased regulations, a global economic meltdown, two wars, tensions between middle eastern countries, global warming, the severely damaged standing of America around the world, global terrorism, an aged national infrastructure, a ten-trillion dollar plus national debt, and whatever new crisis may emerge during his presidency, but that all seems pretty simple to me.

Besides, I am sure whatever you are doing on November 4th is more important than any and all of those issues. So if you are tired from a long day of work and decide to go straight home instead of voting, that's fine. I'm sure you will feel less tired waiting in line for soup, considering you won't have a job when McCain extends Bush's economic policies and runs what is left of the economy into the ground. And if you're home that day, maybe it's your day off or you're a stay-at-home parent, and decide you don't feel like leaving the house, I fully understand. You might as well spend as much time in your house as you can, because who knows how much longer you will be able to keep it if McCain wins. And young voters, like me, whose turnout on Election Day is always disappointing, if you decide to spend the day hanging out with friends, maybe playing some video games instead of going out to vote, then I say enjoy yourself. Just make sure you pop in some Call of Duty 4, it'll be good training for the many extra wars McCain seems bent on starting. Look on the bright side, his presidency could end up taking you to such exotic locales as Iran, Russia, or even Spain (for reasons I still do not understand).

So don't bother voting on November 4th, because when you think about it, inconveniencing yourself for one day to help secure your job, your home, or even your own life, isn't really that important... right?