CANDIDATE ("HRC"): "It's the ideal inscribed on the base of the Statute of Liberty..."

SENIOR STAFFER ("SS"): Ok she's finishing up. Get the water ready.

LOCAL STAFFER ("LOCAL"): Ice? She like ice in it?

INTERN: Ice?

HRC: "So today we say with one voice -- give us the child who wants to learn..."

SS: Check the advance sheet! Does she like ice?!

LOCAL: Quick. Go! Get some ice.

SS: No, no ice. Hot peppers.

LOCAL: Hot peppers. Quick. Hot peppers.

HRC: "...Give us this nation to heal, this world to lead, this moment to seize."

SS: She's wrapping! She's wrapping!

INTERN: Water. Hot peppers. Got 'em.

LOCAL: He's got 'em!

HRC: "I know we're ready. Thank you all and God bless you."

SS: Everyone's hands washed?

INTERN: Hands? No.

LOCAL: Quick. Purell yourself.

INTERN: Ok. I'm clean.

SS: Everyone smiling? Here she comes.

LOCAL: She's coming.

SS: Here she comes.

The CANDIDATE enters.

LOCAL: Great job, Senator.

SS: Thatta way, Senator.

LOCAL: Way to go.

HRC: Water...? Peppers... ?

INTERN: I washed my hands, Senator. I'm a big fan.

HRC: Great. Thanks so much for being here. What's he doing?

INTERN: I'm your local intern.

HRC: We said hi right? Want a picture?

The INTERN snaps a phone pic.

HRC: What's he doing, who's got the latest on what Barack's doing?

INTERN: Uh, I do.

LOCAL: Ok kid. Thanks for the peppers. Go tell your friends to vote.

INTERN: Honest. I get all his speeches IM'd to me on my phone. One just came in.

LOCAL: Ix-nay on the arack-bay gushing.

INTERN: Look, I know they're just words. I mean I'm supporting you Senator. Here-

HRC: Your phone clean?

INTERN: I washed my hands.

HRC: Where's the--how do I carriage return? Oh. Ok. (reading) "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." Where's he getting this stuff?

LOCAL: I think it's in the Declaration of-

HRC: Why'm I getting the Statute of Liberty and he's getting the Declaration of Independence?

SS: Well Emma Lazarus poem's on the Statute of Liberty, and she's a woman, and you're a woman... so it's a parallel construction thing.

HRC: "I have a dream" And he's doing MLK again...

LOCAL: Parallel construction there too, I guess.

(someone sneezes)

HRC: Who sneezed? Was that you? I can't get sick.

INTERN: Another hot pepper?

HRC: Thanks. Where's the scroll down thingee here...

The INTERN goes to the next page.

HRC: And now FDR? Why don't I get this stuff?

INTERN: It does pull people in. I mean, not me.

(someone sneezes again)

SS: Get that sneezer out of here.

LOCAL: And Purell yourself!

HRC: Well I could sell this Americana stuff too. That thing about Climb ev'ry mountain, Ford ev'ry stream, Follow ev'ry rainbow, 'Til you find your dream.

INTERN: Uh, that's an Austrian nun.

LOCAL: Good for woman values voters...

INTERN: Maria Von Trapp. Sound of Music.

LOCAL: Good for the gay male voters?

INTERN: See the thing is, my friends like being drawn in, because they like to know they'll be part of the solution. They're ready to roll up their sleeves for America. Me? Frankly, I'm lazy, so that's why I'm voting for you.

SS: Well and that's why we are the solutions people - so you don't have to be.

HRC: Right! So we should stick with the solutions narrative. I've got a manifesto to jump start the economy.

LOCAL: He's words. We're solutions.

HRC: My blueprint for the economy's 13-pages!

INTERN: Uh. His is 60.

SS: Ok so, he's a lot of words. And we're solutions.

LOCAL: Hey, the New York Times has something about Deval Patrick giving him that latest riff.

HRC: Aha! He's other people's words! And we're-

SS: Gonna nail 'em.

LOCAL: Yeah!

INTERN: What happens if going negative backfires? Or comes back to haunt the party in the general?

SS: Eh!

LOCAL: Eh!

HRC: Eh...It's just words. Gimme another hot pepper.