This ruins everything, eh? I've spent the last several months establishing a new identity. Enrolled my children in the Manitoba school system, got my Canadian National Health Card, dug the well for my self-sustainable lifestyle, forged a new passport, became quite proficient at Curling, filled my closet with Edmonton Oiler jerseys, piled up kegs of Moosehead Lager, even joined the Alan Thicke fan club, eh?

Then that hoser Obama had to go and win the Presidency, eh? What am I supposed to do with all my Celine Dion 8 tracks now, eh? Or my Saskatchewan Roughrider season tickets? Or my job at the Salmon hatchery?

I had a real outdoors lifestyle planned, eh? Skiing and hiking. So, I guess, I'm offering it all to anybody who may want it, eh? It's a really great deal. No loons down. Anybody?