Somewhere in a Camarro parked outside of Wasilla:

"Dude, you dodged a bullet."
"It ain't like that, Bro. I love her."
"Dude!?!?"
"Shut up and pass the pipe."

Meanwhile, somewhere in Arizona:

"I can't fucking handle this! Two years of this shit and you only carried 10 states? 10 FUCKING STATES?!?"
"We gave it a try."
"You're such a loser."
"Have another pill."

Meanwhile, at the Alaskan statehouse:

"That fucking senile, spineless two-faced crip!"
"Relax, Baby. You're a superstar. We've got options. We're gonna get paid."
"They laughed at me, Todd. All those cocksucking motherfuckers laughed at me! They're all going to rue the day they met me. I'm going to fucking kill them all!"
"I think I'm going to go fire up the Yamaha."
"Don't you fucking move an inch!"
"Whatever you want, baby."

Meanwhile, in the White House:

"Well, that's that I guess."
"The Transition Team has requested access to the security briefing."
"Hey, the quicker the better. Give them whatever they need, except for the black programs shit. I think it's best if those files disappeared."
"Already done, sir."
"I feel like a bike ride."

Meanwhile, somewhere in Wyoming:

"Butter? What are you, trying to kill me?"

Meanwhile, somewhere in Delaware:

"We did it, baby. We finally did it."
"You delivered Pennsylvania and Virginia and Ohio for him. He wouldn't have won without you."
"He knows that."
"He better."
"Hot damn!"

Meanwhile, somewhere in White Plains, New York:

"Do you like the paisley tie better or the polka dot?"
"Huh?"
"Keep your chin up. Your day will come."
"The paisley."

Meanwhile, somewhere in Chicago:

"Good morning, daddy."
"Good morning, love."
"Did you win?"
"We did. We all won."