Scared You Will Be: An October Surprise? Brad Taylor Negron | Bio

The American political system is working, and I am replete with hope. Hillary bowed out with dignity. Obama has grace and that wife and a Black Camelot is about to dawn. Countdown with Keith Olbermann is beating The O'Reilly Factor, and Brody Jenner just got his own reality show, so all seems right with the universe.

But perhaps the Death Star is still fully operational. The Dems are having trouble fundraising and Obama has stopped going to ANY church. Now, from where Dick Cheney sits--wherever that is--he knows we just need one good scare on American soil to reemphasize that only cowboys can win this oil war and to ensure McCain's ascent to the White House.

I am no historian, but I can tell you that the summer of 1914 was the most beautiful on record. Technology was flourishing and man had given himself the gift of flight. Then, with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand came WWI and the world turned a corner and those planes were dropping bombs.

In these waning days of the Bush administration, let's look at the Death Star and the next chapter of summer blockbuster politics...

Is this an empire? America has colonized Iraq.
Is there an umpire? The UN made this official.
Are there vampires? Yes, just look at Condoleezza hanging up side down in the Oval Office doing sit ups.

Vampires always get their way because they get us when we are sleeping. Beware! As we slouch toward November, we must pay attention. Who will be the archduke this summer? Iran?

When he's about to go into that cave in Star Wars, Luke Sykwalker claims he "doesn't get scared." Yoda says, "Scared you will be." Lately, I find myself relating to Yoda. It seems like only yesterday I was young Skywalker, but now, I find myself world-weary and wise, and from certain angles in the mirror, I notice that I'm beginning to resemble Jabba the Hut.

John McCain comes off as a Lollipop Guild elder from The Wizard of Oz, and his voting record looks like eight years of reruns of Mama's Family. Beware. He is Not moderate!

But you just wait. Darth Cheney has something up his sleeve and will use the dark side of the force to manufacture a disaster. He will raise his orange stick and the faces of Mt. Rushmore will crumble, revealing the Halliburton Logo in the background. Then he will end up blaming the Native Americans quicker than you can say "privatized war." Imagine it: We'll bomb the Morongo Indians and take over their casinos and revoke their sovereign state status.

And here I thought it was going to be the Chinese democracy that would be our demise...all the while the enemy was the Native Indians....

So don't be surprised that in a few months we will all be yelling "The Indians are coming!"

The Indians are coming, and sadly, the one thing we don't have, with the exception of Bush and McCain, is cowboys! That is, unless you count the ones up in California, who are all too busy planning weddings, registering for Le Cruset cookware at the Pottery Barn and looking for saddle lamps.

Enjoy the summer, droids, and may the force be with us and the NEW Halliburton Sands Casino.