Yesterday was my birthday, a day fraught with fears of aging and mortality, awkwardly talking to my old, Jewish aunt, who insists "they had to take Obama's prayer out of the wall, to see if it was written to Allah!" A raft of shitty presents, including ties I will never wear and an 18 dollar gift certificate to Bed Bath & Beyond, but luckily for me, the internet provided me with the best present of my life career so far: The trailer for W!

If I could have dreamed up one non-erotic movie starring Josh Brolin, it would have been W, the George W. Bush biopic and sequel to No Country for Old Men by Oliver Stone. In the film, Llewellyn Moss, having escaped Anton Chigurh by faking his own death, uses the money he took to buy an oil business and eventually run America. I'm also very excited that Oliver Stone has become our modern historian. When something happens, he's right there on the story, making a movie soon afterward with a lot of made up stuff in it. Does Barbara have a subtly incestuous relationship with George W.? Does George have to put down the family's rabid dog, which drives Jeb into a rage, beating George to within inches of his life? Did Karl Rove become the Machiavellian genius he is simply as revenge against the boy who spurned his advances as a teen? All of these things and literally hundreds of other completely bullshit anecdotes could be in W! I admit, it will be difficult for me to accept anybody other than Will Ferrell in the role, but I imagine that he and The Apatow Gang were busy on Pineapple Express and Step Brothers and couldn't get that spec script for First Son: The Mythical Adventures of George W. put together in time. (Word is they got really bogged down over whether George W. should practice his cheerleading routine to The Archies or Iron Butterfly). And I will be there, I will be in that theater chanting "chug chug chug" during the college drinking scenes, I will be there chanting, "drive drive drive" as he drunkenly eludes campus police in his car, I will be there chanting "USA USA USA" when he wins the election (and pretty much throughout his whole on-screen presidency). And, I mean, the GWB years weren't all bad for my generation. I always get nostalgic when I see footage of George W. totally sonning Al Gore on the internet inventing thing because I can remember how I totally felt up a titty for the first time that night. And there was a poetic resonance the way both George W. Bush and I were totally inept in our conquests in the summer of 2003, both of us expecting to be greeted as liberators, but in the end just hoping for an exit strategy. Even more awesome is the movie's release date: October 17th! Election season! This is the October Surprise I've always dreamed of, because I'll never be 17 and witnessing a grotesque mockery of The American Dream again.

To W!