Hey guys, jump on the train because we're heading to a new shoe-macracy where free trade means never having to go without horrible plastic shoes again. At least, that's where we're heading if John McCain has anything to say about it:

You guys, do people over in other countries really need to know that we're manufacturing crocs over here? I thought that was like America's secret weapon. Crocs are like our WMDs. Pretty soon Holland and Switzerland are going to send some spies over here and find out that we've managed to combine their two natural resources (clogs and Swiss cheese) and then we are going to have real trouble on our hands (feet).

I guess if you have to make an example about the leading shoes for the job, you'd pick the lesser of two evils. I wasn't going to "slam" any candidate in this race but come on you guys, Uggs for '08? That's barely a campaign slogan.

That is the smear campaign I am launching against Ugg Boots because while I may disagree with some of the candidates' stances on foreign policy, I am 100 percent behind Crocs as the number one creek-shoes of the U. S. of A.