I Am Totally Crushin' on Young McCain Drew Grant | Bio

Sorry guys, it's a fact: young John McCain was a babe. Now, I am fully aware that Obama is currently the most slammin' candidate, since John McCain is really old and getting to that point of facial regression when pop-pop's features start to resemble a newborn infant. But, for the record, if it was a young J-Mac going up against Barack, it would be a tight race. That is, if we were electing people on purely aesthetic reasons, and not in any way still basing our vote on issues like "war" and "drilling big holes in Alaska or something I don't know I don't read the news that much." Listen, okay, I am NOT saying that I in anyway endorse John McCain as the President of America. I am saying that if this was like seventy years ago, I might be electing a new President of my heart.

God-DAMN, America! I wish I was stuck for five and a half years in an eight by ten bamboo box with that (no I don't). I bet the silver lining of that whole experience was when he got out of Vietnam and found out his hair turned totally white like Leland Palmer's. Even though Twin Peaks wouldn't officially air for another 75 years, I bet this was a source of strength and pride for young hottie McCain. But osh my gosh, look at how banging he was:

I want to tap that so hard you guys. I have a totally un-ironic crush on yJM.The part where he licks his lips in this video and then gives his army ID number really gets to me. He is like twenty times hotter than those other old guys that used to be young, like Paul Newman or Haley Joel Osment.

And while I know it's social suicide in my clique (composed entirely of other like-minded bleeding hearts, liberal college students, and Jewish kids of media tycoons) I just can't help myself. Despite my solemn vow to WWLDD (what would Larry David do?) I can't stop myself from lurid thoughts of tapping that conservative ass, even though said tapping could only occur if I had a Delorian and a bunch of Plutonium. But is my story really that different? Sleeping with the enemy is a story that goes back as far as that Shakespearean tale about the Jets and the illegal immigrants from Puerto Rico that took all our jobs and caused 9/11.