"Can't I just eat my waffles?" Obama asked in response to a reporter's question about President Carter's meeting with the leadership of Hamas. Many people have taken this as a sign that Obama is trying to dodge important questions and issues, particularly when he hasn't given a press conference in ten days. The former media darling has incurred the wraith of the press for his neglect.

But what certain media outlets don't understand is that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Studies have shown that children and adolescents that eat breakfast are more likely to be physically active and less likely to be obese than their breakfast skipping peers. With that in mind, Obama was setting a good example for the children of the U.S.: don't start your day without eating your waffles, so long as those waffles aren't Belgian and you use Vermont maple syrup rather than Canadian (the last thing he needs is more fuel for the Obama American Flag Lapel Pin Controversy, or OAFLPC).

The Waffle Incident has been compared to John McCain and his Straight Talk Express: taking extraordinary measures to satisfy the press' craving for information. I'm sorry, but that's comparing squirrels to broomsticks, it makes even less sense than apples and oranges. It is a proven fact that the elderly get up earlier than everybody else, naturally they would eat breakfast before everybody else, too. By the time the media shows up for the morning Straight Talk Session in a caffeinated stupor, McCain has not only eaten his waffles, he's mowed the lawn, taken out the trash, and read the sports page. Obama, on the other hand, is younger and sleeps in later, but he still needs to eat his breakfast. The same goes for Hillary, the second she skips her breakfast she starts talking about the fact that America could "totally obliterate" Iran. No duh. We have the world's largest nuclear arsenal, we could totally obliterate just about anybody, including another planet (NASA if you want to generate interest in space, how about we nuke the hell out of Mercury?) But when a hungry Clinton started talking about Iran, she began to sound more and more like that nut job Ahmadinejad, saying that entire countries will be wiped off the map.

Doing things on an empty stomach leads to grumpy, angry, and occasionally irrational statements. There's a reason why you have to feed Mogwai before midnight. If they don't get their food, they start going crazy, when they finally do eat, all of that energy turns them into gremlins and shit starts to hit the fan. So before we accidentally destroy ourselves with a scourge of gremlins, let's go to IHOP and just eat our waffles.