First Cheney declared that the Vice President was it's own branch of the government, now Palin said the VP controls the Senate. Giving the benefit of the doubt, she was explaining the role in a way a third grader could understand it: when I was in third grade the VP contest was between Quayle and Gore, and I found myself agreeing with VP Quayle when he said that it was "time for the human race to enter the solar system," as I had just finished a mobile of the planets (back when Pluto still was a planet). However, this past year it is becoming increasingly obvious that not everybody knows what the VP does.

This bares a striking resemblance to the scene in Office Space where they bring in the Bobs as consultants. So let's take a look at a few responses to the simple question, "What would you say you do here?"

Joe Biden: I hope one of my roles as vice president will be as the person actually implementing Barack Obama's policy. You gotta get the Congress to go along with it. And it's presumptuous to say, but I know it pretty well. And I think I am fairly respected on both sides of the aisle.

Translation: I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills!

Sarah Palin: [T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.

Translation: Brandon I'm going to make you the new Joe the Plumber, I'd like to see them dig up dirt on a third grader. You don't wet the bed or anything do you?

Dick Cheney: Fuck you I do what I want!

Translation: Fuck us he does what he wants.

John Edwards: The president of the United States actually has to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.

Translation: Just don't sleep and chew gum at the same time because it'll get in your hair and ruin your coif.

Dan Quayle: One word sums up the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is "to be prepared."

Translation: Be prepared because I don't how to count.